Bring my sons from afar...

Personality in the PICU

2011-11-20T12:18:00.001-05:00

Micaelyn is anything but a quiet, calm little girl. I often say she is the prissiest little tomboy I have ever known because she is as rough and tough as any little boy but loves to look like a girl. She can often be seen running around the yard with all the boys while wearing her plastic high heeled dress-up shoes with a purse slung over her shoulder. She is a very sassy, bossy little girl. She often tells me, "When I'm a big girl then I'll get to tell everybody what to do." (Not that she doesn't try to now, she just doesn't like it when I tell her she can't do that.) Not long before her surgery her daddy asked her, "Who's in charge?" She responded, "I am."

Even while she was on the ventilator that tough little personality of hers shined through. The doctors and nurses kept referring to her as a "fighter" because even with them giving her so much medication to sedate her she was still fighting for control.

On her last day in the PICU her nurse said she had been told all about Micaelyn. She said she normally worked in the surgical ICU where Micaelyn would have gone had she not been on the ventilator. When she showed up to work in the PICU and was assigned Micaelyn she said all the other staff let her know Micaelyn was a "feisty little one!" She said the nurse that had her over the night shift reported that Micaelyn had said to her "I don't know you" when the nurse was trying to take care of her. Micaelyn was apparently the talk of the PICU and everyone wanted to know what else she had done.

The thing Micaelyn kept repeatedly saying as soon as she was off the ventilator was "I wanna go home." It was usually said in a sad, pathetic little voice. When she got her discharge papers Friday morning one of the requirements she had to meet first was to be able to walk a little (she could have assistance). She was really feeling quite awful and did not feel like walking, but I pushed her to do it so she could go home. Once I got her out of bed and she had taken a few small steps her nurse walked in the room and she practically yelled, "I wanna go home NOW!!!!!!!" Then she wrinkled up her little face and growled, "uuuuuggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!" as loud as she could. She made sure to let everyone know she did NOT want to be there!

Of course, that same feisty little personality was really working against me when I was trying to get her to drink and eat so we could go home. She would say "I don't wanna do it!" and growl each time I gave her a bite. Although she would sometimes cry, mostly she growled at me! It got to the point where I told my husband if she didn't finish her drink and it got close to the time limit I was going to finish it for her and tell the nurse Micaelyn drank it all. I'm sure that sounds bad, but I knew I could take care of her a lot better in the comfort of our own home (and I wouldn't have done it if I was completely unable to get her to drink, only if there was a fairly small amount she didn't finish in time). Thankfully I did manage to get her to drink it all, and we got to bring our feisty little fighter home!

Sleeping in the PICU after getting off the ventilator.

Sleeping with her mouth closed!

Caleb let her play on his Nintendo DS to keep her occupied.

The eating battle begins!

A brief smile BEFORE trying to eat.

Her feisty little personality shines through!

Notice I had already fixed up her bed, folded the blankets, etc. I was getting ready to go home! No matter how much she growled, I was determined to get her to drink!

Caleb so desperately wanted her to drink so we could go home!

I managed to get a brief smile (before I started pushing her to drink). We are simply amazed to see her keeping her mouth close now, but it's also surprising to see how different her smile is. It used to be that you would see a lot of tongue when she smiled. You almost never saw any teeth because her tongue filled her mouth up so much it covered them up. She looked more like a toddler than a little girl. With her new smile she looks much more like a little girl about to turn 5 years old.

Here are a few pictures of her from before her surgery. You can easily see how prominent her tongue was before and how different her smile looks now (although she's always been adorable!).

Day 4

2011-11-18T22:02:00.001-05:00

We made it home...barely!

The plan was for Micaelyn to get discharged this morning. She just had to drink a certain amount of fluids, eat a little bit of food, and be able to walk. Sounds so simple. It was anything but that!

I worked very hard to get her to accomplish her goals early in the day, but it was obviously a hopeless task. I ended up getting her settled in for a nap in hopes she might do better after a little sleep (I had really hoped she would get to take her nap at home!). Unfortunately even after her nap she was quite uncooperative. They brought mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese for her to eat. I only ever got her to eat a few pieces of macaroni, and she didn't really eat too much of the mashed potatoes either. Thankfully the doctor didn't set a minimum amount to eating. However, she did have a certain amount she had to drink, and she really wasn't doing well with it. Around 5pm the nurse called the doctor to let him know she hadn't met her goals yet, and he set a time limit by which the goals had to be met in order to go home. If she didn't meet the goals she was to be moved out of PICU into a regular room. With a lot of pushing on my part and a lot of grumbling, crying, and fussing on her part we managed to just meet the time limit so we are finally home!

I will try to write a bit more tomorrow about how she is doing, but for now suffice it to say she is in A LOT of pain and does NOT want to eat or drink anything. It will take a great deal of effort to keep her hydrated. She is very quiet, hardly speaks, and is also very lethargic. She seems plain limp and lifeless for the most part. I am hopeful she will sleep well tonight and have a bit more energy tomorrow.

I'll also post more pictures tomorrow (at this moment Micaelyn is sitting here in my lap sleeping on my arm). For now I'll just post the most important pictures - going home!

I just had to dress her up for the occasion!

It used to be that if I took 100 pictures of her I might get 1 or 2 with her mouth closed (if I caught her while she was swallowing) and in all the others her mouth would be hanging open, sometimes with her tongue hanging out. It's simply amazing to see her sitting around with her mouth closed!

Even though I did get a few smiles for the camera, this is the look she has had for the most part today. She has had a blank look and a limp body. Hopefully she'll have more energy after a night of sleep here at home.

PICU Day 3

2011-11-18T00:06:00.001-05:00

Today was a good day - Micaelyn is off the ventilator! After they took out the breathing tube along with her NG tube and catheter she was quite difficult to deal with. She was having withdrawal symptoms from all the drugs she had been on to try to sedate her. She was thrashing about wildly and seemed very out of control of herself. I finally got her settled down enough to rest for a bit. Later in the day they started letting her drink some apple juice. She managed to drink quite a bit but ended up throwing it all up. After that she was really quite miserable. She got very chilled and was shaking terribly. I got her dressed in some warm pajamas and got her settled down into a very good sleep. She awoke again a little after 8pm. She got to enjoy the rest of the evening visiting with Mommy, Daddy, Caleb, Christina, Aaron, and Malachi (Joshua stayed in the waiting room) as well as some friends from church (and earlier in the day she got to see my mom as well). It was obvious she enjoyed all the attention as well as her new Barbies and other presents. I managed to get her to eat a small amount of jello before she started getting super agitated and restless. She started complaining a lot about her head hurting and was tossing and turning very roughly, crying, moaning, screaming, etc. She was making sure to let everyone know just how miserable she was! Eventually I got her settled into sleep for the night.

We are very hopeful she will be able to come home tomorrow. She kept saying repeatedly "I wanna go home." She also kept reaching for me, and even when I was sitting right next to her petting her she would often reach both arms up and pull me to her. Sometimes she would reach up to pet my face. She definitely wanted me to stay very close. She is such a precious little angel!

Seeing the last of this mess!

We were so happy to finally get her free of all the tubes. We also were simply amazed to see her closing her mouth! Before the surgery she almost never closed her mouth except to swallow. We waited over a year to do this surgery (tongue reduction) not only to allow her to attach to us and overcome the trauma of leaving her foster family/culture/language/etc. but also to make sure she really needed the surgery. There were a number of reasons we came to know for certain she needed the surgery (e.g. she was developing a significant underbite as her lower jaw kept growing forward to make room for her enlarged tongue) but one of them was the fact that she never closed her mouth. To see her able to keep her mouth closed is simply amazing!

This is an example of how she usually kept her mouth open before the surgery. Very often her tongue would actually protrude from her mouth, but even when she kept her tongue in her mouth she still didn't keep it closed because he mouth was just so full of tongue.

Taking a nap after she threw up all her juice. Her eyelids got very red and swollen along with some other parts of her face (another side effect of the drugs).

Sleeping for hopefully her last night in the PICU! So amazing to see her mouth closed!

For comparison purposes this is a picture of her sleeping before the surgery. Her mouth was never more closed than this.

Update on Micaelyn

2011-11-16T22:01:00.000-05:00

Two days ago I awoke to Micaelyn's face just inches from mine, smiling so sweetly to me, with her little hand petting my face so tenderly. It was hard waking up without her this morning. I sure do miss my baby girl!

Micaelyn had a very rough night last night, and this morning she was just plain "wild" (to use the nurse's word), fighting terribly for several HOURS despite all the drugs she had been given to sedate her. They ended up calling the surgeon in early this morning to come check her. After adding even more drugs to her already long list they seem to have finally gotten her to a calmer level. As the PICU doctor said, she is on A LOT of drugs, and she is getting A LOT of each one of those drugs. They keep her room closed off and dark at all times with as little human interaction as possible so as to minimize stimulation because she can so easily wake up, and not surprisingly she gets quite upset and agitated when she does. We are thankful she is finally starting to sleep more (though still not as solidly as had been hoped), and very thankful for all the prayers on her behalf.

The doctor had hoped to be able to get her off the ventilator today. That didn't work out but hopefully by tomorrow she'll be doing well enough to remove the tube so we can start working towards getting her home.

Today we found out her surgeon (also Caleb's surgeon, who we really LOVE!) has a little boy adopted from China (he has 5 kids total - just like us!). We told him we already thought he was an awesome guy, but that just made him that much better! :)


I couldn't take any pictures today since we had to avoid anything that might wake her up (we weren't even supposed to touch her or talk to her, but I snuck a few kisses!). Thus I'll just post one from 2 weeks ago. She is always so full of joy, just like in this picture. I can't wait to see her smiling and dancing again!

Please pray...

2011-11-15T23:52:00.000-05:00

...for sleep! The plan was to keep Micaelyn fully sedated in a medically induced coma because she is on the ventilator and obviously in a lot of pain as well. Unfortunately they have been maxing out on all the medications and she is still not sedated. She has been kicking, fighting, trying to pull the ventilator out, even trying to sit up (she does have arm restraints on but she is quite the fighter!). She is fully aware of her surroundings and nods her head when spoken to. It is very obvious based on her responses she is completely cognizant and very uncomfortable and unhappy! The nurses are amazed by her response (or lack thereof) to the sedation medications, especially given the amount they are putting in her. It is very unfortunate we don't know her past history because it seems as though her body has a tolerance to the drugs that wouldn't be expected without some pretty extensive exposure previously. We know she had surgery as a newborn so there was probably some exposure then, but based on how high her tolerance is to the drugs the nurses suggested the possibility of prenatal exposure to drugs. There is no way we will ever know that, but it could also be the reason for her birth defects if that is the case.

She did not respond at all to the "happy juice" and was completely aware when we were asked to leave so they could take her to surgery. She got very emotional, reaching for me, and crying for me not to leave her. This was EXTREMELY hard for me to deal with as her mommy. It would be hard with any child, but with her adoptive history it was especially hard. Every single day she tells me, "You're gonna keep me forever, Mommy! You're not ever gonna take me back to China or let me go, right Mommy?" She was plenty old enough at adoption to remember the trauma of leaving her foster family, and so it is no surprise she needs the constant reassurance that we are keeping her forever and will never leave her. Thus it was indescribably hard to leave her for the surgery, especially with her reaching and crying for me. Please pray for her to have peace and reassurance of our love for her. She needs as much prayer (or even more) for her emotional well-being as for her physical healing.

We took all the kids (including Christina's boyfriend, Aaron) and my mom to see her this evening. She was very obviously aware of everyone's presence (everyone else took turns, but I stayed in there the whole time). She turned toward my mom and started crying when we said her Papaw would come see her soon. She would get upset when people left and had an especially hard time letting Aaron go. Several times she opened her eyes and tried to sit up. If I just barely stepped away from the bed for the briefest of moments she would get very emotional and try to reach for me. I did manage to help her get calmed down finally and told her I really wanted her to take a little nap so I could take a nap (she had asked me before surgery to please lay in bed with her after her surgery). After she seemed to finally go to sleep we left to bring all the kids back home. The nurse felt it best nobody stay with her tonight in hopes she might be more likely to sleep through the night. Since she is in the PICU she is the only patient assigned to the nurse so we know she's getting good care, but nonetheless it was hard to leave her. Please pray she starts responding better to the sedation drugs and manages to sleep through the night. We will be getting back up in just 5 hours to go see her again!

Waiting to get called back. I let her wear her special Chinese clothes - they are her favorite. (Unfortunately the charger for my camera battery is missing and I had to use Christina's camera, so the pictures aren't quite as good as normal.

Dressed in her "princess gown" for surgery.

When he lays around like this sucking his thumb it's obvious he doesn't feel well - this is not normal for him! He is still hurting a lot, crying, etc. from his own surgery last week.

Loving her Mommy!

After surgery.

Mommy's poor little baby! You can see her distress in the picture.

More surgery tomorrow

2011-11-14T23:10:00.001-05:00

Micaelyn's surgery is tomorrow. She could be on a ventilator in a medically induced coma for the rest of this week. I am hoping and praying for her to have an amazing recovery and be off the ventilator and awake within 3 days. Actually, I am hopeful she will be HOME within 3 days. The mere fact she is alive today is nothing short of a miracle based on her condition at birth and where she was born. She is at very high risk for tumors and was supposed to have received blood work every 6 weeks and ultrasounds every 12 weeks to screen for tumors so they could be treated early. As an orphan in China she received NO screening, but God protected her little body and kept it free of the tumors and other problems that so often affect BWS kids. Her club foot was corrected very early on. She waited many months for a family, and through God's great hand she became our daughter. I have no doubt that after all the miracles God has already worked in her short life a miraculously quick recovery could easily happen!

Caleb had a very hard night last night. However, he has done better over the course of the day today. We finally got his new Optimus Prime toy he was promised before the surgery, and that definitely perked him up a bit. Then our wonderful preacher and his son came by to visit, and the moment Caleb saw them outside he was full of excitement. He still isn't talking anywhere near as much as he normally does, but he has at least been speaking a little. He ate a small amount of baked potato with chili for dinner and ate almost a whole brownie for desert, and he has also been drinking much better. He is very eager to go back to gymnastics, but he still isn't anywhere near ready for that. At least it gives him something fun to look forward to when he is better!

I have a feeling the rest of this week will be quite rough dealing with Micaelyn's recovery while Caleb is still down from his surgery.

Here are a few recent pictures of our little China angel. Please pray her surgery goes well and she has a much faster than expected recovery. Also pray this does not affect her attachment or bring up any adoption/abandonment/trauma issues.

Recovery

2011-11-13T22:16:00.001-05:00

Caleb is having a pretty hard time recovering from his surgery, definitely harder than I expected. He is having a great deal of pain. Whenever he starts crying from the pain he starts wheezing. Then he gets more upset and scared, panic sets in, and he can't breathe, all of which only makes the pain that much worse. He has been running a fever over 100 ever since the surgery (even with the tylenol added to his pain medicine, and he is also on an antibiotic), and he has been been very lethargic and lifeless. He hardly speaks, and on the rare occasion he does it's just a whisper (and it obviously hurts him). I have had a VERY hard time getting him to drink enough to keep from getting dehydrated, and he has hardly eaten anything since the surgery (and he didn't really have any extra pounds to lose). I pray his body starts healing and the pain eases up soon so he can start drinking more, eating, talking, playing, and so he can become the active little boy he normally is.

Laying around in his new Captain America pajamas he got from his Daddy's coworkers. He really liked them a lot!

Coloring in his new coloring book from his friend Naomi and her family.

All day long he hardly speaks except to say "Aaron" wondering when Aaron will come over. No matter how miserable he feels, Aaron always manages to help him feel better. What a wonderful boyfriend Christina has!

Surgery Day

2011-11-09T20:31:00.000-05:00

Caleb had surgery this morning to remove his tonsils and adenoids. He has been very uncomfortable with a lot of pain, nausea, vomiting, dizziness, etc. I gave him his medicines for both pain and nausea nearly 2 hours ago, and he threw up again not long afterward so I don't think he got much of the medicine into his system. After an hour had passed I decided to go ahead and give him more medicine (half a dose) since I was pretty sure he didn't get to absorb all of the last dose and he was in so much pain. He is now sleeping. I think it is likely to be a long night. :(

Just waiting to get it over with.

Daddy got a smile by telling Caleb he had a present waiting at home from Daddy's coworkers.

Caleb got way happy when Daddy told him what it was - Captain America pajamas and movies!

Sleepy. By this time he had had his breathing treatment but not anything else.

After the "happy juice." It seemed to have no affect on him. I think it's good he was so tired (I had let him stay up late and he had woke up early). Since he had his loveys and special blanket and he was so sleepy it was easy for him to get relaxed. He wasn't actually asleep yet in this picture, just resting while he waited to be taken back.

He crashed on the couch as soon as he came home.

These last 2 pictures are from the night BEFORE surgery. He woke up Monday morning with a missing tooth. He was distraught when we couldn't find the tooth and thought he had swallowed it. Thankfully we ended up finding it further on down in the bed. Since his teeth do not come out easily I was happy to have it gone, and he was happy to have his money from the tooth fairy!

I can't wait to see my sweet boy's smile again!

Autism?

2011-10-25T23:18:00.001-04:00

I know a lot of people are interested in how Joshua is doing, especially others who may be interested in older child adoption. Overall, he is doing wonderful. His adjustment has been unbelievably easy. After our experience adopting Christina from Russia at age 12 years we were prepared to deal with a lot of difficult issues, but thankfully that hasn't been the case. Joshua is really a great kid!

Joshua is a very obedient child. He never gives us any trouble. He does what we tell him to without complaint. He always has a great attitude and almost always has a smile on his face. He plays well with our younger kids. He is especially kind towards Malachi (our gentlest and smallest child, even though Micaelyn is the youngest). He is often found helping Malachi play some game or riding him around the yard on the bicycle. He has eagerly played the sports we've put him in even though he had gotten no athletic experiences in China due to his congenital heart defects. He loved basketball and did great in baseball (both sports were played through our church). He even started playing football this spring, although we decided not to have him play this fall because he is much more interested in taking karate (which he and all the kids will be starting within the next couple of weeks).

Joshua has been such a great kid, and we couldn't be more pleased with how well he has handled all the many adjustments he's had to make to an entirely new life with a new family, culture, language, food, school, etc. Unfortunately, we have started to realize he may have some issues to deal with beyond the normal adoption issues. We have come to realize that what we at first believed was shyness/language barrier/adjustment issues is more serious.

For starters, Joshua obviously has problems making eye contact with other people. It's nearly impossible to get him to look us in the eye. His paperwork from China stated he would not make eye contact with people, so this is obviously not something new.

Furthermore, he obviously has communication issues, i.e. he doesn't talk. At first we attributed this to the language barrier and his unfamiliarity with us perhaps exacerbated by a naturally quiet/shy personality. However, at this point he really should be able to carry on a conversation with us, and yet he can go days at a time without saying much of anything to us. It is truly painful to try to talk to him. No matter how simple you try to make the conversation, how easy the questions you ask, you are lucky to get a few words from him. He has been with us for 13 months now, and he had had several years of English in school before he came to us. After having had several years of English instruction in school and being in a complete English immersion environment for over a year he really should be able to carry on a pretty good conversation, even if the English was a bit broken. It's very obvious he understands most everything being said because when we watch movies he laughs at jokes that require a pretty good understanding of English. He has even on occasion typed into the computer (in English) the words he wanted to say instead of trying to speak them, even simple 1 syllable words. We have also had people speak to him in Chinese and they have said the same - he obviously understands what they are saying but won't speak back. His paperwork from China says much the same - he doesn't talk much, prefers to answer questions with as few words as possible, very quiet, etc. Obviously, even though the language difference hasn't helped, Joshua's communication issues existed before his adoption and go far beyond the normal language barrier/adoption adjustment issues.

Another thing we've noticed with Joshua is that he does not like to be touched. He has gotten to the point he will allow the younger kids to lean on him somewhat if they are sitting in the recliner together playing their little Nintendo DS, but in general he does not want to be touched. The hardest part about this is it means I cannot show him any physical affection as even a very quick hug would be too much for him.

There are other little oddities too. For example, the way he always sets his stopwatch when brushing his teeth or his focus on certain things, e.g. video games (we were warned before we got him that his interest in video games went way beyond that of the normal kid his age, which was a bit difficult for us to accept since we had previously had a video game free home) or his interest in money (e.g. he wants to know the cost of everything, what people make, etc. - this may seem like a normal interest, but it goes a bit beyond the normal interest). Although he goes along with whatever we ask of him without complaint, with respect to his own habits he is very structured, very disciplined, very ordered. Of course, this is actually a benefit in many ways (e.g. school work, mowing the yard - he has his schedule and follows it so well there is never a need to tell him to do his work) so we don't mind it, but when taking into consideration his other issues (e.g. lack of eye contact, lack of speech) one can't help but think of autism. Of course, it would be a higher functioning form of autism, but he definitely seems to fall somewhere on the spectrum. We are hoping he has been here long enough now for the professionals to accept that his issues are due to something other than just the language barrier. We can't help but be really concerned about his future because of his inability to carry on even the most basic of conversations. Based on what we see in him now it would be very difficult for him to make it to college (he could never handle the interview) much less succeed in the career world, and without the ability to communicate dating and eventually marriage is also extremely unlikely.

So hopefully soon we will have a team of professionals with a plan of action in place to help Joshua overcome his issues. However, we will continue to focus on the positives, and with Joshua there certainly are plenty of positives! Although it's hard to not be able to have a conversation with him or give him a hug, he is a great kid who we dearly love. I often find myself thinking about how hard we had to fight our adoption agency to adopt him (because they don't allow families to adopt 2 children at one time). I can't believe an agency committed to finding "a family for every child" made it so hard for us to be this child's family considering without us he would have aged out without ever being adopted. As awful as it would have been for him to spend the rest of his life without the love of a family, with his issues it also would have been extremely difficult for him to have ever succeeded on his own in China. We are ever so thankful for all those who prayed for us to be able to adopt him and ever so grateful to God, the Mover of mountains and Maker of miracles, for bringing him into our lives.

It is almost impossible to get a good picture of Joshua. He absolutely will not look at the camera. We were able to get a few family pictures with him looking decent this past weekend in Gatlinburg (as seen in a recent post) only because we bribed him with money.

Pushing Malachi on a swing. He is always very good with the younger kids and especially helpful to Malachi.

First Prayer!

2011-10-25T22:37:00.001-04:00

It may seem like a small thing, but last night for the first time ever Joshua said a prayer! Praise the Lord! It was just me with all 5 of the kids and Christina's boyfriend for dinner. As always, the youngest 3 fought over who would say the prayer, so I let them each say a prayer. Then I had Christina and Aaron (her boyfriend) each say a prayer also. Then I asked Joshua to say one, and much to my great delight he agreed!!!!! He bowed his hand and said, "Thank you for this food. Amen." It was short, but it was ever so sweet! Many people who have adopted older kids understand the joy in hearing their first prayer, but for Joshua this is an especially amazing leap of progress because he almost never speaks! Needless to say, we all cheered big for that short and oh so sweet prayer!

First Date

2011-10-24T11:42:00.000-04:00

There are many challenges in adopting an older child, but one of the hardest to deal with emotionally is the loss of so much of your own child's life. The first months and years are fraught with all sorts of difficulties as the child adjusts to an entirely new life in a new home with a new family, new culture, new language, new rules, etc. However, no matter how hard those difficulties, things tend to get better over time. Parents get better at helping their child, and as the child gets accustomed to her new life she gets better at dealing with the issues from her past. However, one thing that never gets better is the loss of all that you missed out on in your child's life.

There is so much we missed out on with Christina. We missed her first smiles, her first steps, her first words. We missed the loss of her first tooth - in fact, by the time we got her she had already lost ALL her baby teeth so we never got to share in her excitement over the tooth fairy's visit. We missed her first birthday and all the ones up until the teenage years. We missed out on being able to comfort and hold her during sickness from the months she battled tuberculosis as a toddler to the simple colds she faced while growing up. We weren't able to stand up for her when others at school were mean and made fun of her for being an orphan or for being Vietnamese, and we weren't there to protect her when the bigger kids at the orphanage stole away her food or beat her up. From the happy moments to the sad moments, we missed all of her childhood. We have not one picture of her as a baby, as a toddler, as a preschooler, as a small child. In fact, other than the 1 referral picture we have of her at age 11, the only pictures we have of her from before we adopted her are pictures of her at almost 12 years old from families who traveled before us to adopt her friends.

When you miss so much of a child's life you can't waste time dwelling on what you missed - you must move forward and delight in all the new experiences with your child. After all, regardless of how many years you missed you can look forward to a lifetime together. We have enjoyed watching each of our adopted kids delight in the new world around them. From her first time at McDonald's to her first time at the ocean there have been many "firsts" with Christina. Most recently we got to delight in her first date!

We are ever so proud of Christina for waiting until the right guy came along instead of settling for second best just to have a boyfriend. We truly love this guy and couldn't be happier that Christina is with such a wonderful young man. He comes from a great family, and he has a strong faith in Christ with a great set of morals. Our younger children adore him, and we love having him here with our family!

These 2 pictures are some I took just before they left our home. Doesn't Christina look beautiful (and happy!) for it to be 7:00am and for her to have no make-up on?

This was actually back in August, so that first date obviously went quite well. :) I think they look so cute together!

Her first date also happened to to be her first time hiking to the top of a mountain (Mt. LeConte in the Smoky Mountains).

Surgery cancelled

2011-10-23T23:01:00.001-04:00

Recently we had an appointment with Micaelyn's doctor who will be doing her surgery next month. Caleb had been somewhat sick (again) for several days before the appointment, and that morning he woke up screaming in pain about his ear. So we headed off to his doctor first thing to confirm he had an ear infection and get some prescriptions for him. Then while we were at Micaelyn's doctor I brought up Caleb's issues to him. He was so kind as to take the time to get a full history on Caleb, do an exam, and get all the paperwork done to have him enrolled there as a patient. He did feel Caleb might benefit by having his tonsils and adenoids removed, so although we went there just for Micaelyn we walked out with surgery scheduled for both Micaelyn and Caleb.

Caleb did NOT like the idea of having surgery. Of course, it probably didn't help any that we had spent the last month talking a lot about Micaelyn's upcoming surgery and how difficult it would be, how many days she'll be on the breathing tube, how long she'll be in ICU, etc. So when we were there for Micaelyn and suddenly started talking about surgery for him it was no wonder he took it so hard. Needless to say it took a lot of effort to get him prepared for the surgery. He was very scared, and it was a difficult morning emotionally for him. Unfortunately, after all the nervous tension he had built up the surgery ended up having to be rescheduled. We showed up at the hospital, waited until we were called, went back and got him dressed in the gown, signed all the papers, etc., all while trying to help calm his nerves. However, there was a lot of concern about his medical history and the fact he had been recently sick and still had a bit of congestion. The anesthesiologist was called in and after listening to him she felt it was too risky to proceed with the surgery, especially with his history of respiratory problems. We ended up having to reschedule, and they want him to have breathing treatments for several days before the surgery when it's time to come back.

This was AFTER the surgery had been canceled and we had gotten him dressed and ready to go home. He had been so upset about the surgery that even once it was canceled he wouldn't smile (probably because he knows he just has to go back again later). He is holding his Reagan (the elephant on the right) he's had since he was a baby (his most favorite lovey) and his Ronald (the elephant on the left) which my mom had made him the day before as a special gift to hold along with Reagan during the surgery. The afghan is one I crocheted for him while I was pregnant with him. My mom and I wanted to make sure he was surrounded by love during the surgery!

Once again you can see the discoloration under his eyes from sickness. Even the people at the hospital who don't see him everyday felt he looked sick. Poor boy!

Grandma's Love

2011-10-23T21:32:00.000-04:00

If anything can possibly compare to a mommy's love, it's a grandma's love!

My mom with our 3 youngest (I took this just before she took off for the 2 hour drive back to her home. Christina was at school, and Joshua doesn't like getting his picture made).

Caleb did not want her to go back home! It's so wonderful to see the love between my mom and my children. What a blessing she is to our family!

Beautiful Day in Gatlinburg

2011-10-23T20:30:00.000-04:00

Update on Caleb

2011-04-11T14:26:00.000-04:00

Caleb is doing well, praise the Lord! We are so very thankful for all the prayers and thoughts from so many people for our precious little boy!

Thankfully our worst fears of leukemia were ruled out once we got the blood work done. Unfortunately, when we had the blood work done we saw a new doctor, different from the one we usually see or the one we had seen before (the one mentioned in the previous post that could really tell something was wrong with Caleb). While the previous doctor had mentioned mono as a possibility, the new doctor didn't test for it (I think he was mostly concerned with ruling out leukemia). Since we didn't want to put Caleb through more testing, and there really isn't much to be done for mono, we didn't worry about testing him for it. However, just a couple of weeks ago I found out a friend's son, close in age to Caleb, has had mono, and we recently received a prayer request for another 6 year old boy here locally that has had mono. These other cases of mono in young boys here locally (and we live in a small town, not a big city) make me think mono is all the more of a possibility for Caleb. His symptoms certainly fit.

Regardless of whether it was/is mono, bad allergies, or something else altogether, the important thing is that he is feeling better. When he went for his first allergy shots they were concerned about how sick he was (the way he had been for so many weeks) so they gave him a breathing treatment and put him on prednisone. They warned me about the side-affects of being on prednisone, but for him it was a wonder drug. For the first time in many weeks Caleb finally had energy! Even when he had been on antibiotics for a couple of weeks, while some of his symptoms seemed to improve, he had never really had much energy. While his wild energy can be hard to keep up with (his daddy calls him the "blond tornado"), it was much harder to see him so lethargic.

Although Caleb hasn't felt well the past couple of days, overall he has been much better. He is still not completely back to his normal level of energy, but he has at least been playing a significant portion of the days lately. However, he has had a VERY hard time adjusting to the allergy shots. He goes twice each week for his shots and gets one in each arm every time he goes. While they are supposed to be subcutaneous shots, on his skinny little arms they are going much deeper. He bleeds after the shots, his arms get bruised, and they stay sore for days. Often when he gets his shots he still has bruises on his arms from the last TWO times he went in for shots, meaning not just the time a couple of days before but even the time a whole week ago. His arms are always sore - before they start feeling better he gets more shots. Sometimes the injection itself really burns, like last week due to the pollen count. I have to hold him for the shots (he doesn't fight, he just wants the comfort of my lap), and he always cries. Since I had allergy shots myself I never expected it to be this bad for him. I asked if they could use a smaller needle but they said they wouldn't. It's very hard to see him hurting so much!

Here is a recent picture of him. You can see how much better he looks. It's amazing how much the prednisone helped him! This was on the day he lost his first top tooth (he had already lost 4 on the bottom). It had been loose for awhile, but it just wouldn't come out. It was really causing him a lot of discomfort, and because of the way it was sticking out it really looked bad also. We just couldn't get it to come out. It ended up getting knocked out while Caleb was riding on a zip-line in a friend's backyard. It really shocked him at first, but I was so glad to finally have that tooth out!

He is wearing a shirt we got for him when we went to Russia to meet Christina for the first time (Russia requires multiple trips to adopt a child, that was our first trip). He was only 12 months old at the time, but that was the smallest shirt we could find. Traveling all the way to Siberia with a baby was not easy, but I am soooo glad we did not leave him behind (and since I was nursing him it really wouldn't have been feasible to leave him). It's too bad he doesn't remember going to Siberia!

On a final note about that tooth and Caleb's misery lately, when he started feeling so bad Caleb went back to sucking his thumb a lot. He always sucked it when he was little, but he had gotten to the point he only sucked it when he was tired or not feeling well, which meant he was sucking it pretty much all the time lately. When that tooth started getting loose it made it uncomfortable for him to suck his thumb. Then one day I happened to get a good look at Caleb's thumb and notice he had a TERRIBLE infection on it. I had noticed it getting a little red from him sucking it so much, but in a matter of a few days it had gotten much worse. I think he sucked it until the skin got raw, then it got something in it (quite possibly from Caleb's own mouth) that caused an infection. He kept it hidden from me so I wouldn't notice, and by the time I saw it it was green/brown and VERY infected looking. I started using a surgical scrub solution to clean it off every couple of hours, followed by hydrogen peroxide and then a prescription strength antibiotic cream I had gotten as an emergency medicine when we traveled to China. Much to Caleb's dismay, I also kept it bandaged so that he couldn't suck it. In cleaning it every couple of hours I was able to make sure it wasn't getting any worse, and after a few days it was definitely getting better. I won a few points from my husband on that one because he was so concerned about me not getting it checked out by a doctor (I would have if had started getting worse). I won a lot of points from Caleb when it was all better, but of course he thinks I used to be a doctor anyway. I think healing and fixing boo-boos is just a God-given gift that becomes essential as a mommy!

Prayers for Caleb

2011-03-12T14:14:00.003-05:00

Caleb has been sick lately, a lot. Certainly there has been a lot of sickness going around, but it seems he's had it worse than most. In our house with 5 kids, 7 people total, we have all been sick at least a time or two this winter, some worse than others, but it seems like Caleb has hardly been well. Over the last couple of months he has run countless fevers. Last month he ran a fever (running 101-103) for nearly a full week. After 3-4 days of being on Augmentin he finally started getting better, but he never seemed to actually get well. His cough improved, runny nose diminished, but he stayed tired. This is pretty much the same pattern he's had for a couple of months - he gets sick, seems to get mostly better, but before he is really well he's sick again.

Of even more concern is the total lack of energy he has had lately - he's not just tired, he's lethargic. As an example, one day last week he came to me in the evening so exhausted I knew he would never make it to a reasonable bedtime. I had him lay down thinking I would just let him rest for about an hour so the late nap wouldn't affect his sleep during the night. However, he ended up sleeping from 6:30pm to 9:30am the next morning. He used to sleep no more than 10-11 hours a night with no nap during the day. Lately he's been sleeping much longer at night and frequently taking naps during the day, naps as long as 4-5 hours. Today it was after noon before he woke up despite having gone to bed at a reasonable time last night.

Then there is the fact he hardly eats lately. He just has no appetite. It doesn't matter how much he loves the food, he hardly eats it. It doesn't matter whether I'm making his favorite foods at home or we go out. He used to devour a double cheeseburger from McDonald's, now he wouldn't eat half a single one. He doesn't even eat sweet food much anymore.

Add the complete lack of energy, the loss of appetite, headaches, complaints of his stomach hurting (but never any signs of abdominal illness, i.e. no vomiting or diarrhea) and the frequent fevers and infections and I can't help but be a little worried. A couple of days ago he woke up with another fever, 103 degrees, with no real explanation as to the cause. I usually wait until my kids have been sick several days (at least) with no signs of improvement before I take them to the doctor (I prefer to give their immune system a chance to do its job - overuse of antibiotics is dangerous to both individuals and society as a whole, and it's wrong to assume that kids can't get well without antibiotics.) However, with the concern I've had lately combined with yet another fever I decided to take him on to the doctor. I figured even if they couldn't figure it out right away it would get the fever documented and hopefully get the ball rolling to figure out what was wrong.

We didn't see our usual doctor, but the doctor we saw instead seemed very knowledgeable... and very concerned. Even without having ever seen Caleb before to know what "normal" is like for Caleb, he felt Caleb looked sick. However, the strep test, flu test, and urinalysis all came back negative. There was no obvious explanation for Caleb's fever and lethargy. Unfortunately, this leaves the possibility of things far more serious than I really care to think about. We will follow up with our normal doctor next week. The doctor we saw last night said we need to be prepared to deal with a lot of testing until we figure out what is affecting Caleb.

When I had Caleb at the doctor's office just last month for illness he was referred to an immunologist for allergy and asthma testing. He was found to have pretty severe allergies with reactive airway disease and will start shots next week (he is NOT happy about that!). There is a possibility all his illnesses, fevers, lethargy, etc. are related to his bad allergies. Perhaps the combination of him being in school and all the wet, cold weather just stressed him further than his body could handle. (We had originally been homeschooling him, put him in school in the late fall (late Oct/early Nov), and pulled him back out early last month.) That is what I'm hoping for, that it's nothing more serious than bad allergies tearing down his immune system. There is also the possibility he has had mono, which would be much preferable to some of the other possibilities.

So please pray all the testing goes well, that we find there to be nothing seriously wrong with Caleb, and that he is able to get over all this soon so he can enjoy life again.

Also, just in case anyone from my family actually reads this, or anyone else that knows my grandparents, please do NOT mention anything about it to them. My grandmother worries far too much anyway so I have always preferred not to mention anything to her that would give her more reason to worry.

Caleb during the allergy testing. I gave up working on school work with him, and he didn't even want his Nintendo. I decided to try to distract him with the camera, but it's heartbreaking to see how pitiful he looks in the pictures!

Look at the discoloration under his eyes. This is something that has really bothered me over the last couple of months - it's bad enough sometimes I have even edited some of his pictures just to get rid of the color under his eyes He has also seemed especially pale lately, even more so than he normally is in winter.

Taking a break while the others keep playing. It was so sweet to see our cat go sit with him! Neither Ernie nor I have never known a better cat, and since we got it several years before Caleb was born it has been a constant, beloved companion to him since infancy.

I want to see him full of color again, without the discoloration under his eyes (this picture is from about 2 years ago).

I want to see him full of energy again, our "blond tornado" as my husband calls him.

With baseball about to start again I want to see him feeling well enough to enjoy playing. Last year he lost his first tooth during baseball season - you can see it missing on the bottom. This year I think he'll lose his first upper tooth just in time for baseball.

I want to see him running even faster this year, and I won't even mind all the dirt!

I want him to climb into my lap because it's his favorite place, not because he is too tired to do anything else.

I want my little angel back to himself, full of happiness, full of excitement, full of energy, and enjoying life to the fullest.

Six months ago today...

2011-03-08T11:25:00.001-05:00

...a quiet young man walked into our lives, and our world was forever changed. I have no pictures of the day - our new son really disliked getting his picture taken and I figured doing something he hated would be a very poor way to start things off with him! However, it was a wonderful day. We signed all the paperwork to complete Joshua's adoption within about 15 minutes of meeting him. Due to the fact the adoption had to be completed before his 14th birthday they had given us special permission to complete his adoption on the same day we received him as opposed to waiting the usual 24 hours.

Getting approval to adopt Joshua was not easy. Our adoption agency doesn't allow the adoption of 2 unrelated kids at one time, and we were already in process to adopt Micaelyn. It took many weeks, far too many committee meetings, extra interviews with social workers (for our kids as well), and lots of writing. In the end I wrote around 37,000 words in defense of our ability to adopt Joshua along with Micaelyn. For every question that was given I had a solid answer. My husband (who loves my writing ability and was apparently quite proud of my effort) said I left our agency with no argument. However, the words were not my own, they were my Father's. God put the words in my head, worked through me to fulfill His purpose. He softened the hearts of the people in the agency who were against us, and He gave power to those who cared enough about a child to realize his life was more important than their rule.

In the end we were right - we were capable of successfully adopting both children. Joshua and Micaelyn are both doing wonderfully. Our agency states they do not let people adopt two unrelated children at one time because "this is in the best interest of each child." Given the likely alternative for Joshua (life as an orphan) there was virtually no way for them to argue that our adopting Joshua was not in his best interest. For Micaelyn the case was not as obvious. However, I argued that as a little girl she would probably have a very difficult transition and Joshua may be able to help her through it. I truly believe this turned out to be the case. It was just after we got Joshua that Micaelyn started showing signs of happiness (see the pictures on my previous post of her on her fourth day with us - this was the day after we got Joshua). By the second day with Joshua, Micaelyn had truly opened up. Her grief turned to joy, her tears to laughter. To this day, even though they have little interaction with each other it is obvious Micaelyn has a special attachment to Joshua. She loves all her siblings, but she seems connected to him. To imagine not having adopted BOTH children together is nearly unimaginable!

It took a huge battle and a true miracle from God to get our agency's approval to adopt Joshua along with Micaelyn. On the day they told us we had finally gotten approval they said we were not the rare exception to their rule, we were the only exception. While I was happy for us, I prayed our case would open the door for other families to adopt 2 kids at one time so more children could find families. Miraculously there have been 2 other families since our battle to get approval to bring home 2 kids at the same time (in both families the second child was aging out just as Joshua was). I am grateful to our agency for giving more children the chance to be loved. The battle to get approval for Joshua's adoption was very hard on us, but it feels wonderful to know God worked through us to help other orphans find families. Perhaps the success stories of these adoptions will help to bring even more children into the arms of love!

Joshua still doesn't like to get his picture made, so I have to catch him when he doesn't notice. Thank goodness for a zoom lens and the ability to crop photos since I'm usually pretty far off (trying not to be noticed by him). However, he is a really good kid, a true blessing to have in our home! It's so hard to believe we almost didn't get to adopt him just because we found Micaelyn first!

From tears to laughter

2011-03-07T22:25:00.000-05:00

One of the things that can make adoption so hard is the grief a child goes through in leaving behind all they have ever known, especially with children like Micaelyn who were fortunate enough to receive the love of a caring foster family. Micaelyn had been with her foster family since infancy. They were all she had ever known. It was obviously a close family - she was loved not just by parents but also by grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. She had cousins. I believe many of them either lived together in the same household or at the least they all lived very close together. Micaelyn was obviously loved by them, and she loved them as any 3 1/2 year old child loves her family. It is hard enough for a person, especially a small child, to accept the loss of one loved family member - to accept the loss of your entire family is nearly unbearable.

Needless to say Micaelyn grieved severely when we first received her. It was truly heartbreaking to watch her suffer through such a great loss. She cried incessantly. She screamed. She stood by the window yelling for her foster family, and she frequently tried to leave the room to go find them. Numerous times throughout each night she would get up to leave the room (she learned right away how to unlock the door, even with the deadbolt). She wouldn't sleep, which undoubtedly only made it that much harder for her to deal with the transition. Whenever there were Chinese people around she would pull away from us and beg them to take her home.

Thankfully we were prepared to deal with Micaelyn's grieving. Honestly, we prepared ourselves to deal with much worse. We felt very blessed in that although Micaelyn grieved severely for her foster family, she did not resist us (at least not me, she wouldn't initially have much to do with her new daddy). She readily stayed with me most of the time, clung to me very tightly, followed me everywhere, and enjoyed letting me hold and care for her. She had no problems either giving or receiving affection from me. Other than when the foster family left and we first took her back to the hotel she didn't ever try to physically fight us. She was really a good kid who just happened to be grieving hard.

We initially thought Micaelyn's grieving would be like Malachi's had been (who was adopted at age 2 1/2 and had also lived with a foster family). However, we were wrong. As it turns out Micaelyn's adjustment actually went much better. Malachi didn't scream as much (though he cried a lot), but he would frequently completely shut down emotionally, becoming nearly lifeless. Just like Micaelyn he had trouble sleeping and would frequently awaken during the night crying. Thankfully he also attached to us very readily, particularly to me, but he continued to grieve for several months. Though he was overall quite happy and playful, over the first several months after his adoption there would still be times in which he would shut down emotionally or wake up in the night crying fiercely. Whenever we went anywhere he would cling tightly to me, and he was very shy around people he didn't know (even if we obviously knew them). It took a full year for him to really open up and show his full personality.

With Micaelyn, while the initial grieving was extreme, she overcame it much quicker. Literally just 2 weeks after we got her she seemed completely secure in her attachment to us. Where she had initially preferred Chinese people over us, she would no longer talk to Chinese people by the time we left China. The people in the hotel in Guangzhou even remarked on her as we were leaving, commenting on how hard she had been crying when we first checked in versus how happy she was when we checked out. While she had initially completely refused to try out any English words, by the time we left she seemed eager to learn our language. Once we left China she had to make another transition to her new home, a new country, new food, etc while simultaneously overcoming jet lag. Yet within just one week she was sleeping well and rarely asking about her foster family. Within as little as 2 weeks home (1 month after we got her) it was as if we had always had her. She had attached to us beautifully and was as happy as a child could possibly be.

Many children will grieve intensely just as Micaelyn did. With some the grieving will last for months just as it did with Malachi. Perhaps Micaelyn and Malachi's stories will prepare adoptive parents who have yet to travel for the possibility of grieving and give hope for their child to eventually overcome the grieving. With both Malachi and Micaelyn we said we were happy to see them grieving because we knew that meant they were attached to their foster family and therefore knew how to attach and love, which meant they would also be able to attach to and love us. Though it was difficult to deal with some of the challenges of the grieving process (e.g. screaming, crying, trying to leave, not sleeping, etc.), it is far easier to deal with the short term challenges of grieving than to deal with the long term challenges of a child who has problems with attachment, and the blessing of having your new child so happily and securely attached to you after going through such a difficult transition is beyond words!

The day we got her. She was crying for her "baba" (Chinese foster dad) so I gave her a picture of her with him which she clung to for dear life.

The foster family had given her a bag with some yogurt drinks and pomegranates. She refused to put it down and carried it everywhere.

Even though she kept crying out for her foster family she still readily let me hold her and take care of her. She let me feed her, change her clothes, and was obviously happy to let me paint her nails. You can see her staring at the picture of her with her foster dad, and the reason she stayed by the window was because she kept calling out to them looking for them outside.

This was after we walked to WalMart. You can tell she is trying to smile, but you can also still see the sadness in her eyes. Notice she still had the picture, but she also had a little wand we had gotten her at WalMart. The bed is covered in all sorts of her things, some things from her foster family and a lot of new things from us. She loved all the new clothes, necklaces, and toys.

The next morning she was ready to "que ja," i.e. go home. She apparently really liked the shoes I had brought for her since she chose to wear them. She tried to pack the ones from the foster family in her backpack, but since they wouldn't both fit she ended up carry one. She still carried the wand from us (she had put her picture inside her backpack).

We saw plenty of tears during her first days with us.

It was a great blessing that she so readily accepted affection from me and wanted me to carry her around.

She screamed during her first bath!

This is her third day with us. She still spent most of her time by the window screaming for her foster family. In addition to her picture she kept holding a tube of toothpaste which they had left with her (it was actually one I had sent to her in a care package before we traveled, though I think she associated it with them).

It was so heartbreaking to see her so sad, but also completely understandable for her to be so upset.

We took frequent walks outside to calm her down. She enjoyed riding in the stroller. The walks didn't make her happy, but they did at least give her a rest from crying. She was definitely watching for her foster family at all times while we were out, hoping we were taking her to them. Thus going back to the hotel was always rough!

This was 4 days after we got her. She was starting to warm up to us a little, become a little more interactive. Caleb was very helpful in trying to get her to play and be happy (he was also good at finding the hidden stash of Oreos, which she obviously enjoyed!)

This picture shows progress in her adjustment - she was actually starting to interact with us, show interest in being with us.

This was also on the 4th day. You can definitely tell she was starting to play and show signs of happiness.

It was so wonderful to see her actually smiling. She also had the cutest way of making the peace/victory sign with her fingers!

By the evening of her fifth day with us we finally got to see her true personality. She spent several hours running around the hotel rooms, laughing, playing, full of happiness and excitement.

Once she opened up we could tell she was a real firecracker with plenty of spunk. We knew right away she wouldn't have any trouble keeping up with her big brothers!

No more screaming in the bathtub!

After an evening of laughter I feared Micaelyn would wake up the next morning grieving just as she has been before. However, once she opened up on the fifth evening with us she never went back to such severe grieving. She would occasionally cry for her foster family, especially if she was tired or upset about something (e.g. she got in trouble, didn't get something she wanted, or didn't feel well like after she got all her shots). However, she readily accepted that she was with us from then on, and for the most part she acted as if she had always been with us. She was full of happiness, full of excitement, and full of love.

This was at the hotel in Hong Kong, our last night in China. The transformation she had made in just 2 1/2 weeks was simply amazing - it was truly an answer to prayers!

Isn't it amazing that a child who had grieved so much could become so happy in such a short time period? I thank God for all the friends and family who prayed for her and us.

Happy at home!

She is always smiling!

I love the way her little piggie tails meet her chin to form a heart shape around her face. She really is an adorable little girl!

This was Malachi on his first day with us at 2 1/2 years old.

He cried a lot, but he didn't scream as much as Micaelyn did. I think his heart condition made it harder for him to cry for long periods of time, so he often just had a forlorn look on his face with tears in his eyes.

At the hotel in New Delhi several days after we got him (he was from Bangalore).

Even after he was home and generally happy he would have periods of time in which he completely shut down emotionally.

Thankfully, although he continued to grieve for several months, overall he was a happy little boy (and astonishingly beautiful!)

Celebrating Micaelyn

2011-03-05T22:36:00.000-05:00

Four years ago today a precious baby girl was found at the back of a restaurant in Guiyang, China. The weather was cold, windy, and rainy on that winter day. I hope the precious baby didn't wait long out in that terrible weather. I wonder if the person who left her there was waiting by to make sure someone found her. If I had to guess I would bet they probably abandoned her not for lack of loving her but because of her special needs. The combination of multiple birth defects with an enlarged tongue that was too big to even fit into her mouth (according to her paperwork her tongue was also "slightly cyanotic") was a sign of something more than just the obvious birth defects. While they may not have known exactly what was wrong with her, they almost certainly knew she had some sort of genetic syndrome, and if they did know what was wrong with her they would have known she would need blood work done every 6 weeks and ultrasounds every 12 weeks to screen for tumors and that her risk for childhood cancer was very high. They were probably told she would need treatment for club foot, and they may have been told she might need surgery to reduce the size of her tongue. She was in the poorest province in all of China, people there do not have insurance to cover medical expenses, and those who cannot afford to pay do not receive treatment (it is an absolute miracle she had already received life-saving abdominal surgery as a newborn to put her abdominal contents inside her body where they belong). Her needs were probably more than her birth family could handle financially. Perhaps when they gave her up they prayed she would find her way into the arms of a loving family in America where she could receive all the necessary care to allow her to live a long and happy life. I pray God gives them peace and comfort whenever they think about their precious baby girl, and I pray they are my brothers and sisters in Christ so that one day we can all be together in Heaven.

It was six months ago today that precious little girl walked into our arms, and our world was forever changed. Her smile is adorable, her laugh is contagious, and her love is amazing! She is an absolute joy, so loving and affectionate, a true sweetheart. She readily captures the heart of all she meets. When we are out in public people often seem completely captivated by her. She is full of spunk with a smile that lights up any room. She is so full of happiness, so full of love, and we are indescribably blessed to have her in our lives!

This picture was taken a month ago on her 4th birthday. When she was found on March 5 they assigned her a birth date of February 5. I was hoping to have more cake for her today, but between baseball tryouts, a football scrimmage, and an awards ceremony for basketball our day was pretty packed. I'm sure she'll be just as happy with cake tomorrow!

12th Wedding Anniversary!!!

2011-01-17T00:07:00.000-05:00

I had hoped to do the recap of our trip to China without interruption (thus the lack of Christmas pictures so far), but I didn't want to miss out on this day, our 12th wedding anniversary. We skipped the romantic dinner for 2 and instead had lunch after church at Wendy's with 6 kids (Christina had a friend spending the night last night and tonight). It wasn't romantic, but it was a lot of fun! Our kids are such blessings to us.

I had planned to say some really nice things about my husband, maybe even let him say something too! However, the kids are running wild, and it's time to get them off to bed. Ernie and I are truly blessed to have each other and our precious children. We have a beautiful home nestled in one of the most beautiful parts of the country. We have a great church and great friends. My family is also a great blessing to us, and we pray daily for other family members who have chosen not to be a blessing to us and hope that one day they open their hearts and allow love to fill them up so they too can fill the unspeakable joy we feel in our hearts and finally be a part of all they are missing out on.

We thank God for the last 12 years and look forward to many more years together sharing in the blessings of God's great love upon us. Here are a few pictures from the last couple of months of the many blessings God has so graciously given to us.

Joshua REALLY does not like to have his picture made, thus the lack of decent photos of him!

The kids really love their grandparents, and their grandparents love them too!

Caleb, Malachi, and Micaelyn with my mom and my grandparents (her parents) - how greatly we have been blessed, and how especially greatly blessed I was to be raised by such a loving Christian family!

Our home - There is nothing better than a WHITE Tennessee Christmas!

The cake Christina and her friend (Caleb too, he says!) made for our anniversary - beautiful!!! :)

Passing the time in Guangzhou

2011-01-16T21:53:00.001-05:00

We ended up spending nearly 2 weeks in Guangzhou. We should have been able to leave on Thursday, September 16th. However, our agency told us we should plan to spend several more days in China in case something went wrong - they were not used to families adopting 2 kids at the same time or families adopting kids who were aging out. As we were doing both those things at the same time and had a couple of things expedited they were concerned something might not work out. We had originally planned to leave Guangzhou on the 16th with everybody else from our agency and just spend the extra 4 days in Hong Kong (most people depart China via Hong Kong, which is very close to Guangzhou, as it is often the cheapest way out - if something had gone wrong we could have canceled the days in Hong Kong and stayed longer in Guangzhou), but because that was going to be so costly (Hong Kong is expensive!) we decided to take a train trip to nearby Guilin instead.

In the end we ended up canceling that and just spending the extra time in Guangzhou. Even though we were tired of the place, tired of the heat and humidity, and a bit bored it was easier than traveling to a new place and dealing with the train rides with 4 kids. Of course we would have been much happier to have just come home (despite our agency's concern everything worked out fine and we really should have been able to leave on the 16th, but it would have cost a fortune to change the tickets back to the US), but since we were just sticking around the hotel with nothing else to do we spent some time enjoying the pool on top of the hotel.

It seemed Joshua had never been swimming before - he was terrified of the water at first and kept a swing ring on the first several days even though he could stand on the bottom. He did enjoy it a lot though, as did Micaelyn, Malachi, and Caleb. The pool was almost always empty except for us. It made a great way to pass a little bit of time each day.

Guangzhou orphanage visit

2011-01-16T20:01:00.002-05:00

Before we left China we took time to visit Joshua's orphanage. Ironically, on the day we visited the Guangzhou SWI there was a group of officials visiting from the Guiyang orphanage, the very one we had just visited after we received Micaelyn.

Visiting an orphanage is always heartbreaking. It is impossible not to get emotionally torn up over all the precious children left behind who want nothing more than the love of a family. It is so hard to see their faces as they look at you, desperately wishing for someone to come for them, knowing that will never happen for many. Joshua's orphanage had well over 1000 kids - so many dear children needing families, and that is just ONE orphanage out of so many!

Our first impression of the orphanage is that it was a very nice place for an orphanage, definitely the best one we have ever visited. However, the orphanage where the kids live now was built only a few years ago. When Joshua was younger it was a very different place, and all the things I've heard do not paint a very good picture of what life was like throughout Joshua's infancy and childhood. Even now that it is so much better the orphanage is still not a good place for a child to grow up. Children need love, they need affection, they need to be cared for and know they are special. Although Joshua is a good kid, we can see the affects of growing up in an institution in how distant he is with us. I only hope we can tear down the walls he has built emotionally and build up his self-esteem and self-confidence so that he can reach his full potential and succeed both professionally and socially in his new life as our beloved son.

At the entrance to the orphanage

Joshua's room. His bed is the one with the buckets on it. We were actually really impressed that the older kids had individual rooms (4 kids to a room) as this was so different (and better) than any other orphanage we've visited.

Even though it was nice they had bedrooms, I still thought it sad that teenage boys slept on what looked like baby bedding, not to mention how uncomfortable the beds looked. Also, there are no signs of individuality, expression, decorating, etc. Just the essentials, plain and simple, nothing more to mark it as a bedroom for 4 teenage boys.

Standing in the entrance to the room to get an overall view.

Just outside of the room.

A bedroom for smaller children (obviously not infants since the railing doesn't wrap entirely around the bed). This is not where Joshua slept when he was younger since the orphanage is in a new building now. It's nice to see it so clean, but the bareness of the room is sad. All little children deserve to have a soft blanket and a little lovey to hold when they go to sleep!

The orphanage was actually in a nice place outside of the city with grass and trees around it.

Xiangjiang Animal Safari Park

2011-01-13T23:21:00.000-05:00

During the nearly 2 weeks we had to stay in Guangzhou we did very little sightseeing. Mostly we just stayed around the hotel. However, we had greatly looked forward to visiting the Xiangjiang Animal Safari Park. Our agency arranged a group visit to the park for the many families that were there adopting through our agency.

On the morning of the arranged visit we got up early, got all the kids ready, hurried down to breakfast, and just as we were about to leave our agency called to tell us we couldn't go with the group. Because Joshua had turned 14 years old we had to go to the US Consulate to have him fingerprinted. We were all so angry!

Aside from the fact we had looked forward to going to the safari park for many months and our children were greatly excited about it and eager to leave, the fact Joshua had to be fingerprinted really annoyed us. He was an 80 pound child, our legal son who would become a US citizen instantly upon arrival in the US. However, because he had turned 14 (according to a completely made up and possibly very inaccurate birthdate) he had to be fingerprinted. Why did our completely innocent CHILD, a US citizen, have to be fingerprinted like a common criminal? Just one more way out of many our adopted children are treated unfairly by the US government.

In the end our agency arranged for us to go to the safari park on another day. It ended up being a great trip. Although we had to pay extra for transportation since the cost wasn't split among a bunch of families, it was really nice to be there on our own. We were able to spend as much time as we wanted in the places that most interested us, relax when we wanted to, and enjoy the day with our kids. Although socialization with other adoptive families can be enjoyable, going on our own allowed us to have a great time bonding with our kids.

The park itself is an AMAZING place - no wonder they say it is the biggest and best animal park in all of Asia! The sheer number and variety of animals was unbelievable. There were many rare and endangered species. There was a "safari-on-wheels" ride throughout part of the park that brought us up close to all kinds of animals - some came up close enough to touch them. There were even animals like white tigers, bears, lions, white rhinos, and elephants along the way, as well as countless other animals. We traveled through an African savannah, Asian fields, and a predator area. It was unbelievable to see hundreds of species in such an enormous and well-maintained setting. After the safari-on-wheels we spent many hours exploring the rest of the park. The kids were able to feed several different kinds of animals including monkeys, elephants, and giraffes. There was an animal nursery with many different species of animal babies. The white tiger babies were beautiful, and the monkey babies were adorable. Some were so tiny they were even in an incubator. There were animal shows, and many chances to interact with animals up close. Obviously the pandas were really neat to see, and the koala bears were really cute, but Caleb's favorite were the elephants!

Ever since Caleb was a baby his favorite lovey has been a blue stuffed elephant, his "Reagan" (named after Ronald Reagan!). I used to hold it along with him when he was an infant and I would nurse him so he would have something comforting to hold when I was busy. He became so attached to his elephant it went everywhere with him. Reagan has been all the way to Siberia twice, to India, and now to China. Thankfully I bought many spares in case the original got lost, but at some point along the way Caleb found the spare ones so that now he has 5 Reagans. They are all important to him, but by far the "dirty Reagan" is his favorite one. It's called the "dirty Reagan" because even after being washed it has a stain on the back of his head, and because it is so worn out from so much loving it rarely gets washed anymore (even though I wash it very delicately I'm not sure how many more washings it can tolerate). Because of his special Reagan, Caleb has always loved elephants. Needless to say, he had a great time at the safari park! Not only did he get to see elephants up close and watch an elephant show, he got to pet them, feed them, and even ride one! For Caleb that was definitely one of the most memorable moments of our whole trip to China!

There were a lot of white tigers in the park. These were some we saw on the safari-on-wheels.

This picture was taken with the cheap camera I bought for the kids, not with a zoom lens. The safari-on-wheels really gets you CLOSE to the animals, sometimes even close enough to touch!

I got just a little nervous when these animals started running towards us!

Getting sleepy, thus the sad look.

Such a precious little angel!

Caleb's first glimpse of elephants was along the safari ride.

Next time we saw elephants he got to feed them bananas.

Caleb loved seeing the baby elephants with their mommies!

Caleb and his beloved Reagan pose with the elephants.

The kids really enjoyed the elephant show.

Watching the elephant show.

The ride of a lifetime!!!

While the elephant walked through the water it blew water out through its trunk several times. They also went over to the other elephants and threw bananas out for them to eat. Caleb was happy they fed the baby elephants too since he had had trouble throwing the bananas far enough to reach the babies when he fed the elephants before.

Caleb GREATLY enjoyed the ride. Malachi liked the "driver" because he hadn't seen any other dark people the whole time we were in China except for a couple of other Indian people we saw at our hotel in Beijing.

Petting a baby elephant!

A very happy Caleb with his special little Reagan and a real baby elephant!

The end of a VERY HAPPY day!!!

Oath taking ceremony (Wednesday, September 15)

2011-01-03T11:06:00.005-05:00

At the oath taking ceremony given at the US consulate to get Micaelyn and Joshua's visas they read off a list of all kids with birthdays in September. Then they pointed Joshua out as being extra special for having just turned 14 and told everyone how significant that was, that at 14 children in China can no longer be adopted so we had barely gotten him in time. We couldn't take cameras into the consulate, but here is a picture of Micaelyn at the hotel before we left (obviously I have no picture of Joshua since he hates getting his picture made).

Later that evening our group went on the "Pearl River Cruise." I think Pearl River Torture Trip would have been a more appropriate title. The trip started with us being crammed extremely tightly into a hot room for awhile before boarding the boat, not a good situation when you have 4 kids with you. Once we got on the boat we picked outside tables, but then we were told the seating was assigned and we would have to sit inside with the rest of the group (there were others from our group who had also sat outside). The room inside where we were supposed to sit was far too small for so many people. To say we were crammed in was a major understatement. The kids were whining a great deal about it, and Joshua seemed to wonder what on earth we were doing this for. Our agency had ordered pizzas for us, but ours ended up all wrong. Aside from the toppings it had thin crust instead of the original crust, so it wasn't very filling. With the thin crust it was no where near enough for our large family. The worst part about that was how much we paid for it in comparison to the really good pizzas we had gotten at Pizza Hut near our hotel. To make matters worse the boat served some sort of hot beverage for the drink (coffee or hot chocolate maybe, we didn't try it). So there we were crammed into a hot room, the kids were whining, we were all burning up, thirsty, uncomfortable, and unhappy (miserable might be a more accurate description). As soon as we swallowed down the pizza we went outside where we spent the rest of the trip. There was little room where we stood along the walkway that led around the boat. The wall around it was too high for the kids to see out so they looked out the opening, which meant we had to be super vigilant with them for safety reasons. I ended up getting shocked by some florescent lights on the boat (that hurt A LOT!). The younger kids were all crying to go back to the hotel, and Joshua looked sick. The best thing I have to say about the Pearl River Cruise is that it ended (and it wasn't just us that felt that way - our agency representatives were apologizing profusely on the way back).

The tight walkway where we stood for what seemed like forever. You can see why I said we had to be so vigilant with the little ones as they could have easily fallen through the bars in the opening they were looking through. We wouldn't even let Malachi near it throughout most of the trip (he has no understanding of danger and no concept of being careful). The kids were NOT happy about the trip!

Micaelyn fell asleep walking back to our hotel.

Holiday Inn Shifu, Our home away from home

2011-01-03T00:38:00.007-05:00

For many years the White Swan Hotel on Shamian Island was where adoptive parents stayed almost exclusively in Guangzhou (where all US families are required to travel to since the US consulate is located there), and it is still probably the most popular hotel for adoptive families. Our agency even has an office located at the hotel, so not surprisingly it is the preferred hotel with our agency. However, it's also very expensive so instead we stayed at the Holiday Inn Shifu located off the island. It was about a 10-15 minute walk to the White Swan hotel depending upon how fast we walked so we were able to get to all the required meetings at the White Swan without a taxi.

Aside from the much cheaper price we liked the Holiday Inn for several reasons. First off, the rooms were HUGE! We had connecting rooms, one with 2 double beds and one with 1 king size bed. Each room also had a desk, a lounge chair with ottoman, and a sofa. There was a great deal of empty floor space in each room, and considering how many days we had to stay there with 4 kids this was a great benefit to us as they had room to run around and play. There was plenty of space for storing luggage in each room with wooden luggage racks and a lot of closet space. The bathrooms were also very roomy with a separate tub and shower (and the shower was quite large) and a large vanity. These were standard rooms, not the more expensive executive level ones, nor were they suites. They were just the basic, cheap rooms, a real bargain considering how nice and roomy they were.

Plenty of floor space. The door on the right hand side of the window was the one to the connecting room.

It was really even roomier than the picture shows since I couldn't get the whole room in one shot.

There was a nice large window (the upper sections on the sides could open) which provided a great deal of natural light. There was a lot of room in front of the window where the kids could play.

The sofa was plenty large enough for a kid to sleep on.

There was a very large dressing mirror in the room. Micaelyn loved to look at herself in it when I would change her clothes or fix her hair.

The hotel had a very nice pool on the rooftop. It was very clean and almost always empty except for us. There was also a gym up there (I didn't look in it so I can't say anything about it), and there was a small cafe as well (we never bought anything so I'm not sure how extensive the menu was). There was a foosball table there as well our kids enjoyed.


We were almost always the only ones at the pool. One end was just deep enough for me to not be able to walk in it, but there weren't any real deep areas. I felt very comfortable up there with the kids, even took all 3 of the little ones by myself several times.

View from the rooftop. You can see the Pearl River in the background. The line of colored umbrellas in the center marks the street that leads to Shamian Island.

The streets leading to Shamian Island were fun to walk along. They were mostly all pedestrian streets. The street right outside the hotel was a pet street full of all kinds of animals - kittens, puppies, rabbits, fish, turtles, birds, chipmunks, everything imaginable. It made a great way to entertain the kids for awhile when we had nothing to do but wanted to get out of the hotel.

The workers were all very friendly about letting the kids hold and pet the animals. (...and no, we did NOT buy fish while we were in China!)

An interesting way to sell dog food!

There were so many different kinds of turtles!

There were countless shops with fish outside in shallow containers. The kids had so much fun looking at all the different kinds of fish swimming around.

Rodents of every kind, even chipmunks.

Caleb desperately wanted to take home a baby kitten. He didn't get to, but when we got home we had 7 new baby kittens for him anyway (I had been too busy with adoption paperwork and travel arrangements to get it done sooner, so I had planned to get our little cat fixed when we came back from China. She ended up having kittens first!) .

There were some adorable puppies!

Looking down the pet street right outside of our hotel.

There were also a lot of plants and some beautiful bonsai for sale along the street.

There were some shops with neat Chinese items along the way as well. This shop had some amazing water fountains.

Looking up at the Holiday Inn Shifu from the street that led to Shamian Island.

Joshua is such a handsome boy - I really wish he would let me take more pictures of him!

Another great benefit of the Holiday Inn is that there is a huge, very popular pedestrian street right outside of it (on the opposite side from the pedestrian streets that led to Shamian Island). There are many restaurants, including popular American ones such as McDonald's, Papa Johns, KFC, and Pizza Hut. I don't know what KFC and Papa John's were like, but the Pizza Hut had an enormous menu with page after page of different items ranging from pizzas, pastas, soups, Chinese dishes, chicken, steak, lamb, potatoes, and a wide variety of fruit drinks (similar to smoothies) and juices. There was also TONS of shopping opportunities. There were endless shops along the street, but there were also many malls located on the street that had hundreds of stores inside them. We went in one mall that was full of nothing but jewelry stores. For someone interested in shopping, the pedestrian street could keep them occupied for a LONG time. Even though we didn't shop, we still enjoyed looking at everything.

There were many statues scattered along the pedestrian street, and you could see this one from our window. Caleb always wanted to visit the "sweet little birdy."

Looking down the pedestrian street. This was at an intersection. There were more shops down the cross street.

Caleb loved the "chicken man." You could often hear his horn blowing, and if you gave him a tiny amount of money he gave you some kind of treat (we weren't sure what they were, but Micaelyn loved them).

KFC in the foreground with McDonald's in the background.

Just one of many multi-level shopping malls located along the pedestrian street. We went inside this one to go to McDonald's. In addition to different restaurants and stores there was also an arcade in there that would make a great place for families with older kids to hang out (we didn't want to try to keep up with all 4 kids in there). There is also a 7-Eleven convenience store at the bottom (barely visible on the ground level just beyond the blue wall, right hand side).

Another shopping mall with a KFC and Papa Johns on the left, McDonald's on the right.

Pizza Hut where we ate several times. Their menu was much better than Pizza Hut in the US, better than most popular American restaurants.

Inside one of the shopping malls located along the pedestrian street.

Another picture from inside a shopping mall. We didn't do any shopping, but it was fascinating to explore all the shopping opportunities available.

For any family yet to travel, I HIGHLY recommend staying at the Holiday Inn Shifu. It is much cheaper than the White Swan. There are many places to eat and shop right outside of the hotel. It is only about a 10 minute walk to Shamian Island (even shorter if you walk fast), and the walk is a nice one passing through pedestrian only streets. The pet street located just outside of the hotel is a great place to entertain the kids. There is a small shop right outside of the hotel entrance that sells bottled water (very cheap, especially if you buy a large jug), juice, ramen noodles, chips, cookies, snacks, etc. There was a pretty good variety of noodles, all packaged inside a bowl for easy heating. The hotel room had a hot pot you could use for making the noodles, and it had a refrigerator as well. The hotel does have a buffet breakfast, but if you opt out of it you can find a bakery within walking distance with a lot of different breads. The rooms are huge with plenty of floor space for playing, plenty of closet space and luggage racks, and extra large bathrooms with separate shower and tub. The pool is nice with a nearby foosball table the kids can play on at no charge along with a cafe and gym. After having been at this hotel and seeing the price of it I can't imagine why anyone would stay anywhere else.

Shots :( (Monday, September 13)

2011-01-02T20:26:00.002-05:00

Those in the adoption world are all too familiar with the fight that took many months to protect our children from being forced to get vaccinations before coming home to the US. There were numerous reasons for wanting to avoid this.

First, our children face enough trauma in being taken away from all they have ever known and being placed with complete strangers (who look, smell, and talk differently from anyone they have ever known). They shouldn't be forced to suffer unnecessarily from even more trauma by getting subjected to numerous shots all at once.

Secondly, our children are supposed to be learning to trust us, to learn we will care for and protect them, and they are in a critical phase of the bonding/attachment process. Being forced to the pain of numerous shots can severely damage the attachment process.

Thirdly, it's a bit dangerous to subject a child to so many vaccinations at one time, especially in an environment where there is limited access to good medical care. Often children were subjected to as many as 6-8 shots at one time (in addition to the TB test they had to take). Countless children had severe reactions to these shots, and even those who didn't have severe reactions often ended up sick and feverish. It is far better for children to receive the vaccinations in the US where there is easy access to good medical care should the child need it and where parents would also have the option of spreading the shots out across a longer time period instead of getting so many all at once.

Fouthly, there have been numerous reports about the effectiveness and even the safety of vaccines in China (this is just one example). Quite often after coming home and getting titers tested in the US children are forced to get the same shots all over again because the ones they got in China were not effective. There are concerns about safety, especially in cases where refrigeration is a problem. Given the power outage and extreme temperatures at the medical clinic on the first day we were there it is easy to see how this could be a problem.

Lastly, it just isn't fair. A family who has a child in the US can elect not to vaccinate their child at all, ever. Why should children adopted abroad be treated differently? Given vaccines are given to prevent diseases (i.e. the child does not have the disease currently) it's not to prevent the diseases being brought into the US. People from other countries travel to the US without being forced to get all these vaccinations. Yet, small children who are US citizens coming here under the care of their parents were forced to be vaccinated. Very unfair, indeed.

Thankfully, after so many months of fighting from adoptive parents, most children are no longer forced to get the vaccinations in China (kids 10 years old and up still have to be vaccinated, which still isn't fair).

Here are a few pictures from the day Micaelyn and Joshua got their shots.

She got shots in all 4 extremities, multiple shots in some of them. The smiles and laughter she had had for several days were replaced by tears and sadness.

Even riding down the pet street in her stroller didn't make her feel better.

She went back to carrying around the toothpaste that had come from the foster family (I had originally sent it in a care package, but they returned it unopened).

Not surprisingly, Micaelyn did get sick and have a fever from all the shots. Thankfully she didn't get ill enough to need medical attention beyond the medications I had brought along with us, but the experience was definitely a setback in her adjustment with us.

Still smiling (Saturday, September 11)

2011-01-01T15:21:00.000-05:00

Despite an evening full of laughter I had feared Micaelyn would wake up sad the next morning and start grieving again for her foster family. Surprisingly, however, she woke up full of smiles and kept smiling all the way until bedtime with minimal sadness throughout the day (she was naturally quite sensitive at the time so when she didn't get exactly what she wanted she would still cry for her foster family).

Full of smiles in the morning.

We were told before we traveled that Joshua was addicted to video games. We had always been a non-video game family, but we knew not letting him play video games could seriously damage his adjustment with us so we caved and bought a Nintendo DS for him. Of course, in the end we couldn't get one for him without getting one for Caleb too. Since they can link them to play games together the Nintendo at least gives them a way to play together and bond with each other.

Caleb and Micaelyn played a game with Daddy using the Chinese hacky sacks as missiles to attack each other. They would hide behind the bed to avoid getting hit, and when they stood up to throw Daddy would attack them back at the same time (we had several hacky sacks).

Jumpy, jumpy!

Still smiling at bedtime.

An evening of laughter! (Friday, September 10 continued)

2010-12-31T21:55:00.000-05:00

Despite the long, hot morning with the medical appointments, by Friday evening Micaelyn really started showing us her true personality. After nearly a week of crying she burst open with laughter and excitement. During the days of crying when she had been content to simply let me hold her while the other kids played we thought perhaps she was a quiet little girl. Boy, were we ever wrong! Once she started opening up and letting us see her true personality we learned she was a very spunky little girl! It became clear she would have no problem keeping up with her older brothers. She smiled, she laughed, she played, she danced, she hugged, she kissed, she was full of energy, full of excitement, full of joy, and full of love for us. It was simply amazing to see how truly happy she was considering it had not even been a week since she had left her foster family. We knew she would still grieve for awhile, but it was wonderful to see her so full of happiness and excitement for her new life with us.

Our 2 new blessings. Micaelyn watching Joshua gave me a good excuse to get a picture of him, although even with me pretending to be taking pictures of Micaelyn it made him noticeably uncomfortable. It is still hard to believe how hard we had to fight our agency to adopt him (because they had never before allowed a family to adopt 2 unrelated kids at the same time), so hard to believe he almost "aged-out." Every child deserves to have a family, every child deserves to be loved. He may have turned 14 just after we adopted him, but he is surely still a child in need of love... and he is a blessing to our family!

She has such a cute profile!

Not surprisingly, it was Caleb who finally got her to play, who first made her laugh. We took Caleb and Malachi with us on the trip because we knew it would be too hard on them to be away from us for so long (they have never been away from me for more than a few hours, never overnight), but we also knew they would be extremely helpful during Micaelyn's transition to life with us.

I had a pile of semi-dirty clothes (i.e. they had been worn but could be worn again if we started running out of clothing) in the corner. She decided to fold them all.

I could tell by how much fun she was having folding clothes she would have fun "playing house" with the boys. Notice Malachi sleeping on the couch behind her in the photo. She was trying to take care of him like a baby (there had been a baby in her foster family).

It was amazing to see her so incredibly happy considering how terribly sad she had been just a few days before.

Such a beautiful little girl!

Full of happiness, and very spunky!

She was so happy she started dancing and singing a Chinese song. The foster family told us she liked to sing and dance, and it was obvious she was doing a real routine, not just something she had made up.

"Mommy's pretty girl" - This was one of the first English phrases she learned because I would say it to her so often (and I still do).

No more crying in the bathtub!

After an evening of running, playing, and laughing she passed out from exhaustion. It was a bit funny to see how she was sleeping on a king size bed (Caleb, Micaelyn, and I were sharing the bed with Malachi on the couch. Ernie and Joshua were in the 2 double beds in the connecting room).

Medical appointments (Friday, September 10)

2010-12-30T22:07:00.002-05:00

All kids have to have a medical exam to get their visa to come to the US. Since we did not stay at the White Swan hotel (the hotel preferred by our agency) but instead stayed at the Holiday Inn we started the day with a walk to the White Swan hotel to meet up with the group. Next we walked as a group to get visa pictures made, and then the group walked together to the medical clinic. While we were walking it felt miserably hot and humid out. Summer in southern China can be very uncomfortable! However, even as hot as it was it was even hotter inside the medical clinic. The power had been out due to nearby construction so they had no air conditioning, and it was packed with many people inside. It was so hot inside that by the time we finally got out the outside air actually felt cool to us even though the heat index was over 100 degrees and it had felt miserably hot before going into the clinic. Needless to say, it was NOT fun waiting around for so long inside the clinic with minimal light (without power the only light was from the minimal windows they had), crammed in with tons of other people, ridiculously high temperatures, crying babies, screaming children, etc.

They decided not to give shots that day due to the terrible conditions inside the building, though they did give the TB tests. A few days later we had to go back to get the TB tests read and get all the shots. Obviously that wasn't fun either, and it was especially hard with Micaelyn. By the time we went back to get the shots Micaelyn had really started opening up, playing, laughing, etc. Not surprisingly, it was impossible for her to understand why we held her down and let them give her so many shots, and the resulting fever and sickness didn't help either. Thankfully our government has finally fixed their mistake so that parents are no longer forced to get their new children so many shots (usually 5-8 different ones) all at once during the critical bonding period.

Waiting for the medical exams inside an insanely hot building.

After the medical appointments we had lunch at the Cow & Bridge, a popular Thai restaurant on the island. We really didn't enjoy it too much, but since he loves elephants Caleb really liked the statues outside the entrance!

Enjoying the animals along the pet street outside our hotel. Even though it was hot, the walk to the island was always entertaining, fascinating, and enjoyable.

McDonald's in China

2010-12-30T20:53:00.003-05:00

Caleb knew there would be McDonald's in China. The boys couldn't wait to eat there, and by the time we finally got the chance we had been in China for almost 2 weeks. They were eager to go, but since Ernie didn't feel like walking I finally took them by myself. I was a woman by myself with 3 small children, all 3 with a different ethnicity (Joshua stayed at the hotel). To say I attracted attention is a great understatement. It was almost hilarious, especially on the streets. I did my best to ignore them, but it's hard to not feel a bit uncomfortable with so many people staring endlessly. In McDonald's we ended up sitting next to a young couple. The girl was using tweezers to pull out the guy's chin hairs and placing them upon a napkin on the table, and yet we were the ones being stared at. At least the kids finally got their trip to McDonald's.

Micaelyn enjoys her first trip to McDonald's, complete with a cup of corn for her side.

She had to wear her backpack everywhere she went. Initially I thought it was because it was from the foster family, and while I'm sure that contributed now I know she simply loves carrying around a bag, purse, or backpack of any kind. She is ALWAYS carrying a bag of some sort around the house with toys inside.

They really enjoyed their hamburgers! I love that in addition to corn as a side they also offered orange juice as a drink.

The Happy Meals had Pokemon toys inside.

Micaelyn coming around... (Thursday, September 9)

2010-12-30T20:25:00.002-05:00

The day after we got Joshua was a bit of a turning day for Micaelyn. She was still very sad at times, still not sleeping well, and still cried a lot, but it seemed she was coming to an acceptance of things. Rather than crying incessantly with frequent bouts of screaming and tantrums she was becoming quieter, more interested in what was going on around her. She started playing more, even smiling a bit.

Caleb shares some Oreos with Micaelyn. She really liked them!

I could tell she was starting to come around by the relaxed expression on her face versus the angry scowl she had often had before. She was really starting to get interested in her new life, which also meant letting go of the old.

Silly bands made a WONDERFUL travel item. They took almost no space, and most of them I got really cheap. Micaelyn had obviously never seen them before but was highly fascinated by them.

Micaelyn had such a cute way of making the peace sign, and she liked holding it right in front of her face.

I was delighted to see her smiling! Other than the few smiles we got the first morning with her she had not smiled or shown happiness in any way since she was with her foster family the day we got her (we got her on Sunday, this was Thursday). That she was not only smiling but also happily interacting showed tremendous progress in her transition with us.

She was highly fascinated by the Silly Bands!

Joshua's Adoption Day (Wednesday, September 8)

2010-12-30T17:52:00.003-05:00

On Sunday (September 5) we received Micaelyn, Monday we finalized the adoption, Tuesday was a down day, and Wednesday morning we left Guiyang to get Joshua. Because of his 14th birthday the officials made a rare exception to the rule requiring 24 hours between placement and finalization so that we actually finalized his adoption on the same day we received him.

Unfortunately, Joshua's Adoption Day turned out to be a very difficult day (the difficulties had NOTHING to do with him - he was great). We had left home a week and a half earlier with Caleb being very sick. Naturally, me being the one to hold him, care for him, and sleep with him, I ended up getting sick too. The night before we got Joshua was a miserable night with me being very sick, Caleb still being somewhat sick, Micaelyn crying a great deal of the night, and the boys getting woke up by her crying. Thus I ended up getting absolutely NO sleep to add to the extreme cold I had, not to mention the pink-eye I had (and I had to keep wearing my contacts since I had no glasses).

We had to leave for the airport too early to get breakfast at the hotel (which was really frustrating since it had such a good breakfast buffet which we had already paid for). It was chaos trying to get all the luggage and kids out of the hotel that early, and we were running late for the flight. At the airport there was the usual chaos of getting checked in and getting through security. It was made all the worse by the fact Caleb's toy bag (which we had saved as a carry-on), had his souvenir from climbing the Great Wall in Beijing, a sling-shot. The security people considered it a weapon and took it, which was heartbreaking to Caleb. He had begged for us to get him one when we first saw them upon arrival at the Great Wall, and we had promised him if he climbed the whole way with us we'd get him one. It was an extremely difficult climb even for us adults, but as a sick 6 year old it took extreme effort for him to make it (and he did break down into tears many times along the way). As promised we had rewarded him with the sling-shot for his effort, so to have it taken away was really sad.

Things didn't get any better once we finally got onto the plane (barely in time). We were hot, crowded, and hungry. Micaelyn was NOT happy. She started crying and screaming to "go home." Of course, we became the object of everyone's fascination and were stared at endlessly by half the plane. The people behind us started trying to talk to Micaelyn, and immediately she saw them as her chance to get what she wanted. She decided she wanted nothing to do with us and screamed that much more. The flight attendant offered to take her to the back of the plane (thankfully we were in the next-to-last row). I knew it would not be good to let her go, but with half the plane staring and obviously talking about us I really couldn't refuse. Naturally, Micaelyn saw this young lady (who she started calling "big sister") as her savior. She absolutely refused to have anything to do with us after that, and when the flight attendant had to give her back for the landing she showed everyone just how big a tantrum she could throw.

Thus by the time we got to Joshua I was exhausted from lack of sleep, miserable from illness (which was greatly exacerbated by the plane ride and the fact I NEVER got my ears to clear from the pressure changes), and worn-out from dealing with Micaelyn's screaming, meeting Caleb and Malachi's needs, traveling, etc.

When we arrived at the building where we were to meet Joshua once again, just as with Micaelyn, we met him outside of the building. I recognized him as soon as the car stopped even though he was just inside the doors with his back to us. He had on the same clothes he had worn in the few pictures we had of him. It was a very awkward moment when we walked in and stepped onto the same elevator with him. The government officials and our guides were obviously not expecting us to meet him that way, and he was obviously very nervous and quiet. Once we got to the top he was taken away and they apologized for the awkwardness of how we had met, but of course that made it very anti-climatic once he was brought to us again.

We waited around for quite awhile in a large near-empty room. Because it was a Wednesday it was very quiet, not like it usually is for adoptions. Usually there are many families getting their children all at once, but because of Joshua's 14th birthday we had to complete his adoption THEN, not wait until the start of the next week (most parents receive their children at the beginning of the week and complete the adoption the next day - getting Joshua on Wednesday and completing his adoption the same day was very unusual and was only done because the adoption had to be completed and registered before his 14th birthday). The whole time Micaelyn was crying and begging to "go home" to her foster family. Caleb and Malachi wanted to leave, and I'm sure Joshua did too. Finally they were ready for us, we signed all the paperwork to complete Joshua's adoption, and we were able to go back to the hotel.

We could tell right away that Joshua was a very quiet kid. He wouldn't make eye contact, wouldn't speak much even to the Chinese people. We could tell he was very uncomfortable with physical affection so we didn't try to hug him, and we learned right away he really hated having his picture made. Thus, because I didn't want to upset him on his first day with us, I didn't try to take his picture no matter how much I wanted to. Instead I gave some cameras to him and Caleb in hopes of getting a few pictures that way. He didn't let Caleb take his picture either, but he did enjoy taking pictures. Here are a few he took.

It was sweet to hear Joshua trying to pose Caleb and Micaelyn for the picture. The "peace" sign (or "V for Victory") is common in Chinese photos, so it's no surprise he was having them do this.

You can really see her sadness.

Caleb took this picture of Micaelyn eating fried rice at Pizza Hut. We really loved the Pizza Hut there - their pizza was excellent and they had more things on their menu than most restaurants in America, everything from soups, rice dishes, steaks, lamb, chicken, seafood, an unbelievable variety.

Free day in Guiyang (Tuesday, September 7)

2010-12-30T15:24:00.004-05:00

Thankfully, the day after we completed the adoption paperwork, we finally had a free day. It was really good to not have to go anywhere with Micaelyn. Whenever we were with the guide/driver/etc. she would cry to go back to her foster family. The more time we spent with Chinese people the more she would want them over us. As long as it was just us she readily wanted me to hold her (she didn't want anything to do with her new daddy!). Thus it was good to have a day to spend alone with her. We were able to take our time at the breakfast buffet, take a nap during the day (at least we tried!), take a couple of walks around the hotel, and visit an American owned coffee shop that had great sandwiches, soup, and smoothies. It was a much needed break for Micaelyn. The trip back to the Civil Affairs Office and orphanage the previous day (one or both of which she had probably been on numerous occasions with her foster family since the government officials had to keep records on her and monitor her development) had really been hard for her. I think once we came back from those places she really started to understand the finality of her life with her foster family. Her grieving was extreme.

My poor little girl was so sad. She would look endlessly out the window, crying for her foster dad to come to her.

She kept holding the picture I had given her of her foster dad and her on her birthday. When we sent the care package to her for her birthday many months before I was disappointed to have gotten only one photo, but in the end that photo was priceless. The thing in her other hand is toothpaste. I had sent it in the care package but it was returned unopened. However, while she apparently didn't know what it was, she knew it had come from her home so she wouldn't let it go.

The window from our room overlooked WalMart, which was underground. The glass pyramids are the entrances, the beautiful lawn is the roof. In the very bottom right hand corner you can just barely see the river that runs through the town.

Caleb standing at the entrance to a Chinese WalMart. It was an interesting place, to say the least! Aside from being a great place to get food, cheap toys, and other necessities, it was a great way to pass the time and keep the kids occupied.

Walking was a great way to give Micaelyn a break from crying. Although she was still sad, she obviously enjoyed riding around in the stroller.

She was very interested in everything.

Standing on the roof of WalMart

When she saw the boys posing for their picture she decided she wanted to do the same and climbed out of the stroller to get her picture made. Of course, she was grieving too much to smile, but I took it as a positive sign that she was at least interacting, wanting to be involved.

WalMart's roof was so beautifully landscaped, and in a city packed with buildings it provided a great park for all the people.

We were really impressed with the idea of WalMart underground with a park on top - what a great way to add shopping amenities without taking away from the landscape, and as well as it was maintained it actually added to the landscape.

Micaelyn's Adoption Day (Monday, September 6)

2010-12-30T02:48:00.006-05:00

We received Micaelyn on Sunday, September 5, and the next day we were able to complete the adoption paperwork officially making her our daughter. Given the significance of the day I wanted to go back and blog about it before moving forward.

After a restless first night with us, Micaelyn understandably woke up teary eyed.

She packed her bag and headed for the door. She was frustrated she couldn't get everything she wanted into her little backpack. I think she really liked the shoes I had brought for her because she chose to wear them and pack the others, but since both wouldn't fit she decided to carry one. The orange puppy was from the foster family, and the pink butterfly wand was one we had bought for her when we had walked to WalMart the previous evening (the day we received her).

Considering how much she was missing her foster family I considered it a great blessing to get a few smiles out of her.

For more than a year I had looked at Micaelyn's picture knowing she was my daughter, and I had so often imagined how cute she would look with little piggie tails (she had little to no hair in the few pictures we had of her, and it was never pulled up). I was so very happy to finally put her hair up in piggie tails with little bows!

Big brother Caleb tried so hard to comfort her.

I knew going back to the Civil Affairs Office to complete the adoption paperwork would be very difficult. Just the day before her foster family had brought her there. Returning there was certain to cause her to expect to see them again, and when they didn't show up it would only increase her grieving. Unfortunately we had no choice, despite how confusing and painful it would be for Micaelyn.

Just as we expected, she broke down when we got back to the Civil Affairs Office.

It was absolutely heartbreaking to see her so upset, but at the same time we felt so very grateful our precious little girl had been loved enough to cause such heartache. That she had been so greatly loved and cared for, that she had felt love and been able to give it back, meant she knew how to accept love and to love those who loved her. That she had been so closely attached to a family before meant she would have the capacity to strongly attach to us. Thus, while it was heartbreaking to watch her suffer such tremendous pain over the loss of her foster family, it was also a blessing to know she had been so greatly loved.

Caleb was trying so hard to be a good big brother to her.

One aspect of her special need, Beckwith Weidemann Syndrome, is an enlarged tongue. Thus it often protrudes somewhat from her mouth, and she rarely closes her mouth all the way.

In order to get a picture of her with her mouth closed I usually have to catch her just after she swallows. I think she is always adorable, but with her mouth closed it's easy to see just how beautiful she really is.

She was so cute carrying a cup of water around in one hand, the little wand we had bought at WalMart in the other hand. She liked filling her mouth with water and holding it there.

She had to put her hand print on the adoption paperwork. I was really praying none of the red ink would get on her beautiful little dress my mom had made for her!

She was extremely fascinated by the digital cameras!

After we completed the adoption paperwork at the Civil Affairs Office we visited the orphanage where Micaelyn was taken after she was first found as an infant. It was a long drive on a rather hot day. It had already been bad enough that we had to go back to the Civil Affairs Office, the same place where Micaelyn's foster family had left her the day before. I knew going to the orphanage wouldn't help matters any, but I also knew it was important. I wanted to see it, and even more significantly I wanted the boys to see it, especially Caleb who I knew had enough maturity to really learn something and be changed by the visit.

After the long drive we ended up spending a lot of time waiting around in a small room before actually touring the orphanage. All 3 of the kids were hot, bored, and cranky. Micaelyn was doing her best to convince all the Chinese people (e.g. our guide, driver, etc.) to take her back to her family. Ernie wondered why we were wasting our time and going to so much trouble just to see the orphanage, especially since Micaelyn spent so little time there. However, as soon as we started touring the orphanage and seeing kids his mind was changed, he understood. He saw the line of preschoolers sitting on baby potties, looking lifeless as if they were accustomed to sitting there for endless hours each day. He saw the sweet faces of children and felt the tug of his heart for those precious boys and girls. He was hugged by a boy who wanted nothing more than to be loved, who the social workers told us had been praying for a family, all while knowing chances are very slim his wish will ever come true. It certainly wasn't our first visit to an orphanage, and of all our adopted children Micaelyn spent the least time in the orphanage (after about 2 weeks she was place with a foster family through the orphanage), but even so it was life changing. Ernie even admitted to me later that evening how significant it had been to see those children and that he felt bad for getting angry with me about going there.

I wish more people could experience that, see countless precious children so desperate for a family, desperately wanting to be loved. I have been to orphanages in Siberia (Russia), India, and China. Though the children may all look very different, inside they are all precious souls in need of love. It may seem a big challenge to jump through so many hurdles completing endless paperwork, travel around the world, and bring home a child who has lived in a completely different culture, knows no English, and may have any number of physical and psychological issues to deal with, but the blessings far outweigh the challenges!

I think Caleb was nearly as upset as I was at the orphanage. Even at his young age he could feel the terrible sadness that comes in seeing so many precious young children with no mommies and daddies to love them, no home, few if any toys, etc. Here he is looking at 2 babies sharing a small bed. One of them had it's head stuck in between the bars and was crying when we walked in. This would have been the room Micaelyn was put in before she went to her foster family, so she may very well have lain in the same bed.

The trip to the orphanage was truly heartbreaking. It is always difficult to see the ones who are left behind, the ones who continue to wait, the ones who may never feel the love of a family. Their faces will be forever etched in our memory, their hearts will be forever remembered in our prayers. However, when you see that, when you see the life that was almost your child's, you can't help but never want to let go of her while also vowing to do all that you can to help more people understand the joy of adoption in hopes more children will come to know the love of a family.

Walking back to the van with the driver. He was a wonderfully sweet man, and an amazing driver!

Standing together outside of Micaelyn's orphanage. She was brought in through those doors as an orphan, but she left as our BELOVED DAUGHTER, praise God!!!

At the end of the day Micaeyln got her first bath from Mommy. She wasn't too happy about it, but at least she was clean!

Three months ago... (Sunday, September 5)

2010-12-05T22:00:00.007-05:00

... a precious little angel walked into my life, and my heart was forever changed. She was the little girl I had felt in my heart for more than half my life (I knew even as a kid I would one day adopt a little girl from China). I had stared at her picture for endless hours knowing for more than a year she was my little girl, and for months before I had known for sure she was mine I had looked at her sweet face on various photolistings and prayed she would have a family while wondering about the tug on my heart I had for her. Needless to say, this moment was a VERY long awaited moment, but it was well worth the wait!

My first glimpse of her - as soon as the car was stopped I saw the foster grandmother who I recognize from pictures (we had always assumed she was the foster mom), and I began eagerly searching around for Micaelyn. Then I saw a man leading the most beautiful little girl I had ever seen up the street, my precious DAUGHTER!

The pictures stopped after this one, because at that moment for the first time ever I held my baby girl in my arms. The moment was indescribable. It was like a piece of my heart that had been missing forever had been found. My love for her was both instantaneous and intense. No matter how hard I fought them back there was no holding back the tears, tears of joy, for the precious child I had waited so desperately long for was finally in my arms to love forever.

Right away we were led into the building to the place we were supposed to have met Micaelyn. After a few minutes I reluctantly let her out of my arms so Ernie could hold her. Of course, since I am the only one that ever takes any pictures, this is when the pictures started back up.

Micaelyn gets some final loving from her beloved foster dad. The bond between them was obvious. His love and adoration for her was clear. It was heartbreaking to think about the separation that was to come all too soon.

The foster granddad (foster dad's dad) looks on. Clearly he had also been very close and loving towards Micaelyn.

It's often said there is a special bond between dads and daughters (and likewise between moms and sons). Micaelyn was truly blessed to have been so greatly loved by both a foster dad and granddad during the first 3 1/2 years of her life before she came to us. We know all too well how a child can be affected when they live without this love, and thus we are so grateful to God for the people in Micaelyn's province that stepped out to make a difference in the lives of the precious children who were suffering in the orphanages. We have heard from many sources the foster care program there was started by a group of Christians who wanted to help these children. Because they answered the call to care for the orphans hundreds of children like Micaelyn have received love and care so vital to their healthy development. The difference that love makes it unmistakable... and amazing.

While playing with the other kids Micaelyn fell down and got hurt a little. She immediately went to her foster dad for comfort. It was a very touching moment to see him care for her not just in fun as he had been doing but also in a comforting way when she was sad. It was also a brief glimpse at just how hard her grief would be without him there to comfort her once the foster family left.

Caleb tries to get her to play some more.

The family photo, necessary for the adoption paperwork, was taken before the foster family left. Otherwise it would have been impossible to take it, because once they were gone my poor little girl was overcome with trauma and grief. The moment she realized they were gone she began screaming and fighting. We were one of those families you sometimes read about, the one where the child is so traumatized they scream and fight for dear life and literally have to be held in restraint due to their kicking, flailing, and trying to escape. There was no calming her down, and I didn't feel it even made sense to. I knew the best thing was to just get back to the peace of the hotel room. It was a long ride back, and while I was ever so happy to finally have my precious daughter in my arms it was heartbreaking to know how much she was hurting inside.

Back at the hotel I got Micaelyn cleaned up and changed. It felt so wonderful to finally be able to dress her after looking at clothes and dreaming of her wearing them for over a year. I gave her a photo of her foster dad holding her at her birthday. She clung to it for dear life. She would stay by the window where she would look down to the street and scream "BABA!!!!!!!!!" at the top of her lungs. She would hold the photo right up to her face and scream "Baba!" as if touching the photo might somehow bring him back. This was so very hard for me, because I remembered doing nearly the same thing when my dad had died a few years ago - I would look at his picture and desperately wish it could really be him instead of just a picture. It was so hard to grasp the concept of him being forever gone, to never again be able to hear his voice, to hug him, to talk to him. I understood how Micaelyn felt over the loss of someone so special, her "baba." It was heartbreaking to see her pain, and at the same time it was heartbreaking to remember my own pain both at the loss of my father more recently and also the loss of my first stepdad as a child, both of whom she is named after. Thus it was so natural for me to hold her and comfort her, and thankfully she wanted me to do so.

Later in the evening we walked to WalMart as a diversion. I knew she would probably stop crying in hopes she was going back to the foster family, and though I knew she would be disappointed when we came back to the hotel I also felt she needed to get outside and take a break. I carried her in my arms the ENTIRE time (all 38 pounds of her!) because I felt it better for her to stay close and feel my touch on her. She obviously enjoyed picking out some new toys, a new shirt, and some snacks. She loved to look at all her things we had brought from the US, the things left with her by the foster family, and the new things we had just gotten. It was fun to watch her look at everything. She was obviously very pleased with all the new clothes. She also was very happy to have new necklaces and bracelets and she loved having me paint her fingernails and toenails.

I knew nighttime would be very hard for her. However, she was so exhausted she didn't fight going to bed (though she did wake up crying through the night). Caleb was so sweet to her, and I think she was really comforted by his gentleness towards her.

There aren't words to describe the love I felt right from the beginning for this precious little girl. We had started this adoption thinking we would adopt a baby girl from China, not a 3 1/2 year old. However, as soon as I held her I knew she was mine, I knew she was the child I had been waiting for, the one I had loved in my heart for years before she was even born. It was truly as if she were a part of me that had been missing and finally found. From the moment I first held her I knew I was 100% completely head over hills in love with her. She is a true blessing from God.

Things are going great!

2010-10-01T09:07:00.001-04:00

I am still here, I just haven't been on the computer since returning home. I haven't even downloaded pictures yet! I am not sure I'll get a new post up by the weekend, but by early next week at the latest I should have one with pictures. It looks like something happened with my blog while we were in China, so I've got to figure out why all the old pictures aren't showing and get it looking right again.

The new kids are both doing great. Micaelyn is just as happy as can be and fits in like she has always been here. She looks at pictures of herself in China and starts talking about herself there (using her Chinese name - otherwise she uses her new name), but there is no sign of grieving to go with it. Really I can't believe how well she has adjusted in such a short period of time! She is a happy, smiley little girl who follows me everywhere when she is not running with her brothers. She is my shadow, and she is Caleb's echo!

Joshua is also doing wonderful. Actually, I can't believe how smoothly things have gone with him. He is a very good kid who causes few problems. He plays great with the younger kids. He is very easy-going. He's also very quiet. I think that is a combination of him naturally being a quieter kid along with the language barrier (unlike Micaelyn who talks all the time he doesn't talk to us any in Chinese because he knows we don't understand it). He started school this week and is settling in well there. I am sure the presence of so many Asian kids, including a few Chinese students, along with a Chinese teacher has been very helpful and reassuring to him. He is in ESL classes for 4 periods of the day along with other international students. He is also taking Mandarin from the Chinese teacher, and since it is a class for kids wanting to learn Mandarin and learn about the Chinese culture I'm sure it will be an easy class for him. However, we wanted him to take it to both help him remember Mandarin (which is not his first language, Cantonese is his first language) and also to provide a level of comfort/familiarity along with the opportunity for him to excel in a class since he is used to being a top student. He had a blast at church on Wednesday with the youth - they played ping-pong and he was unbeatable! No one could get a single point past him apparently, and he did NOT want to leave!

So all in all things are going great here! Life is busy and at times a bit crazy but so full of love and joy! Hopefully I will get pictures downloaded soon, and then I'll provide a few more details about the transition each of the kids made and the things we did (and still do) to help them with that transition. I know a lot of other people who read my blog are interested in adoption, older child adoption, preschool adoption, special needs adoption, and adoption of 2 kids at the same time so I want to make sure I address those points in hopes that more precious children will be welcomed into the arms of a loving family.

Finally in my arms

2010-09-13T01:58:00.001-04:00

After waiting over a year, I finally have my precious little girl in my arms!

I was planning to post pictures of her smiling, but the internet has been painfully slow so I'm finally giving up for now. However, I have figured out the process now so at least I can do it later this evening. This picture was taken on our first day with her.

Micaelyn is doing absolutely wonderfully now. She slept till the alarm went off at 6:30 this morning, and she didn't cry any when she woke up. In fact, the only time she has cried today was when she got all her shots, and she had no problems letting me comfort her. She seems just as happy as can be, though I am sure she will continue to grieve for awhile. She is a very bouncy little girl, always smiling and giggling. I am completely in love with her!

Our little girl is finally smiling!

2010-09-11T00:12:00.002-04:00

After nearly a week of terrible grieving, our little girl has finally opened up! Thank you so much for all the prayers! Not surprisingly, Caleb was the first to get her to smile. Then the combination of Caleb and Malachi along with Joshua finally got her playing around a little (before she had pretty much done nothing but cry and scream for her foster family). Eventually she broke out of her shell and we finally got to see our precious little girl's true personality. My, oh my, this little girl is a spunky one! She is every bit as spicy as the extremely spicy food her province is known for - she is my spicy Guizhou gal! She most definitely is not a quiet little girl who wants to sit around playing with dolls, and she easily holds her own with the boys. Her smile is adorable, her laugh is irresistible. She is very mischievous, and I'm sure she will be quite a handful on her own. The combination of her running with two little boys will definitely keep me busy, especially with two teenagers also!

Micaelyn still wakes up in the night crying for the foster family and refuses to go back to sleep so the nights are hard, but at least the days are not so bad now. (Ernie gets to sleep in the other room, so at least he gets more sleep.) Also, before she kept trying to leave the hotel room (and since she had figured out how to unlock the deadbolt we were having to keep constant guard of the door both day and night). Over the last day she has been getting her shoes on and bag packed but not opening the door quite as much. Last night after she put her shoes on I took them off and hid all her shoes. I also hid her bag she likes to carry everywhere. Another thing she started doing right after we got her was saying she needed to use the bathroom (that was another phrase I figured out pretty quickly!). In the middle of the night she'll say she needs to go, then after I let her go less than 5 minutes later she wants to go again. It is a very difficult battle because on the one hand I think she is playing games with me, trying to be in control, and I have to win that battle. On the other hand, it's hard to say no when your child is crying to go to the bathroom. Not only is that akin to denying her basic necessities (toilet), how can I ever be completely sure she really doesn't need to go again? Last night after she woke up I let her go, but I finally held my ground and completely refused to let her go again. She refused to get back in bed, and since I didn't want her to bother Caleb I let her lay on the ground but made her lay right next to me so I could hold her down (not forcefully, I just wasn't letting her get up given her habit of trying to leave the room). For 2 hours she kept trying to get up and I would lay her back down. She cried, she screamed, and when it was finally morning she fell asleep for a few more minutes before getting up for good. She was very happy and playful for a few hours, but now she looks exhausted and is cranky again. I greatly hope she starts sleeping through the night soon!

Yesterday we had the medical exam for the visas. What a nightmare that was! The power was out in the building, and it felt like it was at least 100 degrees inside the building. We had thought it was so hot outside when we were walking there, but after being in there for so long when we walked out of the building it actually felt cool outside after being trapped inside with no A/C. Because of the conditions the kids didn't get their shots yet - they will get them when we go back to get the TB test read on Monday. Micaelyn did NOT like the TB test, so I'm sure getting a pile of shots will be quite traumatic for her. Please pray that doesn't set us back with her.

After the medical exams we had lunch at the infamous Cow & Bridge Thai restaurant that seems so popular with adoptive families. I hate to say it, but it was a huge letdown to us. We had had really high hopes for a wonderful lunch given how much we love Thai food, and we were terribly disappointed. I know we are greatly biased when it comes to Thai food since my in-laws own an excellent Thai restaurant (Ernie's step-mom is from Thailand), but honestly we get better Thai food in Pigeon Forge right outside the Smoky Mountains. Hopefully soon we'll be able to make a trip to San Antonio to let the kids see their grandparents and fill ourselves up with some awesome spring rolls and Thai food.

Ernie is doing a lot better and didn't even need any medicine to get over his sickness. I have been taking antibiotics for several day now and seem to finally be improving, though I'm far from over it. I think I spent half my childhood with bronchitis, so I guess it's not surprising. Unfortunately, the pink eye is still quite obvious. We have had places to go every day, and I have to wear my contacts to be able to see which prevents me from putting the drops in as often as I need to. At least with Micaelyn waking me up during the night it's no problem to keep up with the drops every 4 hours through the night!

We are very ready to come home. We were told by our adoption agency to plan extra days at the end of the trip in case something didn't work out, so instead of flying home on the 17th like we could we don't get to fly home until the 20th. As soon as we arrived the staff here started asking us why we are not going home as soon as we get the visas. They were shocked we were told to stay a few extra days and said that was completely unnecessary as they had worked so hard to get things expedited for us. We are more than a little annoyed that we are having to spend so much extra money and time here (which means more time away from work for Ernie and more time away from Christina and our home for all of us) when it was completely unnecessary. Had we not been told to leave some extra time at the end of the trip we could be flying home next Friday. Needless to say, we aren't too pleased with our agency for that.

I'll post pictures soon. We are trying to let Joshua have a lot of time on the computer since there is really nothing else for him to do when we are sitting around in the hotel room, and Ernie has to use it sometimes as well so it's a challenge to find time to post. We are going to go out walking for awhile so they can clean our rooms, and after we come back I'll get the newest pictures downloaded and posted. Now that I finally have some of Micaelyn's adorable smile I am eager to post them!

We have BOTH kids!

2010-09-08T23:24:00.000-04:00

I'm sorry for being out of touch. First something happened with the computer that prevented us from accessing the internet. Initially we thought it was a problem with the hotel internet access, so that kept Ernie from figuring out the problem sooner, but once we moved on to Micaelyn's city and still couldn't access the internet we knew it wasn't just the hotel. By the time Ernie figured it out we moved on to a new hotel in a new city that had no internet service. Once we got back to Micaelyn's city and got her I was tied down with her. Now we are in Guangzhou and shouldn't have any more internet problems. Hopefully I'll get a chance to do some posts on each of our previous days here in China, but for now I'll just tell you about our new kids!

First we got Micaelyn. There really aren't words to describe what it was like to finally see my little girl I had waited so long for. I have known she was my daughter for more than a year, for many months before that I had constantly looked at her picture on the photolistings and prayed for her to find a family. For more than a decade we had planned to adopt from China once I was old enough to meet the age requirement. For more than 2 decades I had dreamed of adopting a little girl from China. Needless to say, finally holding Micaelyn was a very long awaited dream come true.

When we arrived at the adoption center on Sunday afternoon as soon as we pulled up I saw her foster grandmother (who we had thought was the foster mom because she was always the one with Micaelyn in the pictures we had). I started eagerly searching the street for Micaelyn, and then I saw her walking up with a young man (who we soon learned was the foster dad). At that point the endless months of waiting caught up with me and the tears started flowing. I did the best I could to control myself, but once I had my precious baby girl in my arms it was nearly impossible not to cry those tears of joy.

I imagine we were supposed to meet Micaelyn in the office rather than in the street, so right away we were led up there. I could tell she was scared but she did let us hold her. We spent a few minutes talking to the foster family (foster dad and his mom and dad) and then all of a sudden they were gone. Within a minute of their leaving Micaelyn noticed their absence and was distraught. She was screaming, kicking, flailing, etc., and that was the way it was getting her to the hotel. She wouldn't let go of the bag of yogurt her foster dad had given her, wouldn't let us touch it. Eventually we took her for a walk to try to calm her down. It worked, but I think that was only because she thought we were taking her home. She had even gathered her things together along with a picture of her foster dad holding her to carry with her. Once we got back to the hotel she let loose again. She spent endless hours screaming at the top of her lungs, even all through the night. It was easy to figure out the Chinese words for "go home" because she kept repeating them over and over. She was especially close to her foster dad. She would not let go of his picture even for one second to change her clothes, and she would hold it right up to her face and scream "Baba!" as loud as she possibly could. Even Caleb couldn't sleep through her screaming, and I was honestly afraid the hotel would say something to us due to her incessant screaming.

So went Sunday evening, Monday, and Tuesday. On the bright side, despite her screaming to go back to her foster family she had no problems attaching to me. This was truly an answer to prayer as I have heard so many stories of the child rejecting the new mom. Ever since we got her she has wanted me to hold her. The only time she tries to reject me is when we are around other Chinese people. The airplane ride Wednesday morning was especially painful. She kept crying to go home, so the people behind us started talking to her. Immediately she wanted to go to them instead of staying with me. Then the airplane stewardess offered to take her to the back of the plane (thankfully we were in the next-to-last row so that wasn't far away). Of course, then she wanted absolutely nothing to do with me anymore which made getting off the plane quite difficult.

Later that day we went to go meet Joshua, and just as with Micaelyn we met him in the wrong place as we happened to show up at the same time as him. As we were walking into the building I recognized him waiting by the elevator - he was wearing the same clothes he seems to always wear. It was a little bit awkward, and once we got off the elevator he was taken away and we were apologized to for meeting him that way and soon we were allowed to meet him properly. It was obvious right away he is a very quite kid, particularly around strangers. The language barrier didn't help. Due to the fact the adoption has to be completed and registered before his 14th birthday this weekend we were quickly moved into a room to sign the adoption paperwork (we didn't do the normal 24 hour wait).

Once we came back to the hotel we went out to the walking street by our hotel and found a Pizza Hut to eat at (which made Caleb and Malachi very happy). It was really nice that they also had some Chinese dishes, so Joshua got some soup to go with his pizza and we got fried rice for Micaelyn (she didn't eat any pizza). Joshua has been really good to all his little siblings, and his presence seems to be helping Micaelyn since he can talk to her in Mandarin Chinese (Cantonese is actually his first language, Mandarin his second). She hasn't shown such a preference to him as to reject me, but she is happy to be near him. She likes holding his hand, sitting next to him, etc. He has been really sweet to her, but at the same time he hasn't tried to actually take care of her so she gets the perfect combination of having him nearby for comfort and language familiarity with me still being her caregiver. She finally slept pretty well last night and hasn't spent too much time crying today. She still says she wants to go home but she hasn't been screaming at the top of her lungs so that is a big improvement. We have yet to see her smile or have her laugh with us, but right now I am just thankful that she has attached to me so well.

This morning we did the notary, and later today we go get Joshua's passport. Ernie and I are both sick, me especially, which made the airplane ride difficult. I still haven't gotten my ears to clear out completely, and to make things worse I have the pink eye. For the past week my eyes have been horribly red, but I was just contributing it to the terrible smog, allergies, and lack of sleep, especially considering it got worse after we got Micaelyn and I was getting almost no sleep. Yesterday I finally got a nap, and when I woke up my eyes were covered in yellow mucus. Now I am so glad I asked for the prescription for eye drops for pink eye which I had really doubted I would need!

I will have to ask Ernie about posting pictures. Since I am using the VPN he said I wouldn't be able to post them straight from the computer like I normally do. Right now Joshua is wanting to message his friends on QQ (sort of like Facebook), so I'm going to give him the computer. Hopefully by this evening I'll get pictures posted.

Sunday morning

2010-08-28T20:32:00.000-04:00

Last Sunday after church I thought about how much I would miss church while we are gone. We really love our church and never fail to walk away feeling revived spiritually and emotionally. We are new members, yet the people there have welcomed us with loving arms and given us incredible support throughout this adoption. This is not our first adoption, but it is the first time we have received so much support throughout the process. Six months ago we were strangers to the people at our church, but now we are family. This morning we especially miss our church family! I found it so amazing that when I was giving Malachi a shower this morning he asked me, "Do they have church in China?" We had not told him it was church day, but his spirit must have felt the same void mine feels this morning knowing we will miss going to church and having fellowship with our great friends. It does make it feel better to know Christina will be able to go to church and that she is staying with a wonderful family from our church so we still have that connection to our church family.

We are now headed to breakfast and will go touring Beijing after that. Spokoynoy nochi to our Siberian princess!

We are in Beijing!

2010-08-28T15:13:00.001-04:00

We made it safely to Beijing and we are now in our hotel room. It is 3:00am Sunday morning so we are going to bed. We greatly appreciate all the prayers as we had a VERY smooth trip. There were no delays anywhere along the way. I had no motion sickness, which is practically a miracle (when we flew to India 2 years ago to get Malachi I got extremely sick, sick enough to go through more than a few air sickness bags). The flight from Seattle to Beijing was half-empty (at least) so we ended up with plenty of room to spread out and be more comfortable. Caleb is not better but he has not gotten worse so that is very good. He slept during more than half of the ~5 hours we were on the plane to Seattle, and both boys got a lot of sleep on the flight to Beijing. Now it is time for us parents to hopefully get a few hours of sleep! Love to all, especially our dear Christina!

On our way!

2010-08-27T21:50:00.000-04:00

Our first 2 flights are done and we are now in Seattle awaiting our flight to Beijing. Caleb is really sick but hanging in there. Please pray he starts getting better and not worse. Christina says she is sick too, but she is thankfully in wonderful hands so we aren't worried.

I know a lot of people are interested in our itinerary, so here it is.

Friday morning - departure from hometown airport, fly to Atlanta, fly to Seattle, fly to Beijing

Saturday night / early Sunday morning arrival in Beijing

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday (August 29-31) - tour Beijing, meet with agency staff

Wednesday (September 1) - fly to Guiyang in Guizhou province

Thursday, Friday, Saturday (September 2 - 4) - tour Guizhou province

Sunday (September 5) - MICAELYN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday (September 6) - officially become parents to our precious little girl!

Tuesday (September 7) - file for Micaelyn's passport

Wednesday (September 8) - fly to Guangzhou, meet JOSHUA and officially adopt him (we will meet him and complete the adoption on the same day in order to get the adoption registered before his birthday)

Sunday (September 12) - Joshua's 14th birthday, his first birthday to celebrate as a beloved son!

Tuesday (September 14) - Consulate appointment

Thursday (September 16) - pick up visa, free to leave Guangzhou, take overnight train to Guilin

Friday (September 17) - Li River cruise in Guilin

Saturday (September 18) - tour Guilin, take overnight train to border of China/Hong Kong

Sunday (September 19) - explore Hong Kong

Monday (September 20) - fly from Hong Kong to Detroit

Tuesday (September 21) - fly HOME!!!!!

Our total time gone will be 3 1/2 weeks. Since most adoption require you to spend a week in your child's province before going on to Guangzhou we thought we would have to be in Micaelyn's province for nearly a week, and since adoptions from Guangzhou take 2 weeks we thought we would have to spend 2 weeks there making the total trip 3 weeks plus the time in Beijing (most adoption agencies have you start out in Beijing). Thus when we started planning our trip around Joshua's birthday before we even had travel approval we based it on this timeline of being gone for 3 1/2 weeks. As it turned out the officials in both places decided to move us through a little faster so we could have done the trip in 2 1/2 weeks, but since we had already planned the dates we would arrive in and depart from China we kept it at that. Thus even though we will leave Guiyang within just a few days of getting Micaelyn we will still stay there a week getting to know the area she is from. There is a story about why this is important to us, but it will have to wait until after we return home. However, it does make a really good "Red Thread" story!

Supposedly we should be able to leave by Friday, September 17, but our agency told us to stay in China a few more days in case things don't get rushed through as they are supposed to. Since we will be tired of staying in Guangzhou by that point we figured the overnight trains would be a good way to see another part of China without spending a lot of extra money (and since the trains are overnight that means 2 nights less of having to pay for 2 hotel rooms).

I am very excited about going to China, even more excited about getting my children, but I'm already eager to get home. I can't wait to get home and get my house cleaned up, do the laundry (because I know I will have A LOT), and get settled into home life with ALL my children under 1 roof.

Leaving tomorrow!

2010-08-26T20:13:00.000-04:00

Just a short break from the madness of packing to say we leave tomorrow morning! Hopefully I will get to blog during our layovers and can post our itinerary. Please pray there are no delays, especially on our first flight as our layover in Atlanta is pretty short. Also, please pray for good health. We've all been feeling less than 100% (probably due to stress), but Caleb in particular seems to be taking a turn downhill. He has been fairly congested today, coughing, runny nose, etc.

By the way, we hopefully will be able to blog via a VPN while in China (blogspot is blocked in China and can't be accessed there), but if that fails for some reason we will blog via our babyjellybeans account. The link is posted on the right hand side (underneath all the kids' pictures) as "our original family website."

New pictures of Joshua

2010-08-23T11:43:00.001-04:00

For whatever reason we haven't been able to get many pictures of Joshua, not even when we sent the care package through Ann at Red Thread. We did finally get one last week, and another family that recently traveled received a picture of him with his friends who are also being adopted through the Journey of Hope program. I can't help but notice Joshua is wearing the same clothes in both pictures, but the pictures were not taken on the same day. Also, his friend (the boy on the right side of the group photo) is wearing the same shorts and sandals as him. This was something we noticed with some of the pictures of Christina and her friends when she lived in the orphanage. It seems the orphanages often end up with many of the same clothes, and the kids just have to wear whatever is available. Can you imagine how much harder this makes things for the orphans who go to school with kids who have families? It will be so nice to finally give Joshua plenty of nice clothes to wear.

New pictures of Micaelyn

2010-08-22T00:31:00.004-04:00

After asking numerous times over the last year for current pictures I finally have some! We received the last pictures of Micaelyn from the orphanage back in February, but they were actually taken last September, nearly a year ago. Needless to say I'm not only happy to have gotten more pictures, I'm also happy the pictures were actually current this time. We were so very happy to see her smiling in these pictures!

I just love the last picture of her with her mouth closed. Due to her enlarged tongue her mouth has been open in almost all the pictures we have received of her. It's nice to get a glimpse of how cute and spunky she looks when she holds her lips together. Needless to say, I cropped it to show off her sweet little face!

Also on a positive note, the geneticist has agreed to work Micaelyn in soon after we get her home even though it normally takes several months to get an appointment. Due to the fact she should be receiving blood work every 6 weeks and ultrasounds every 12 weeks to screen for tumors it is of utmost importance she be seen right away. She hasn't been receiving any screening in China, so we have had to rely solely on faith that her little body is staying healthy and tumor free. It was also wonderful to hear the geneticist has had experience with Beckwith-Wiedemann syndrome patients. Given it's a rather rare syndrome many families deal with doctors who have no experience with BWS. We feel fortunate to have access to such good medical care for Micaelyn.

Language troubles...

2010-08-21T16:02:00.001-04:00

Christina has been home 4 1/2 years. She now knows a lot of English, but she still occasionally asks what a word means and uses a dictionary much more often than most 17 year olds (and we're proud of her for using the dictionary!). So the other night when she was given an assignment in her Bible class to read in Genesis about Abraham it was not surprising she came across a word she didn't know. Unfortunately, instead of asking me or looking it up in the dictionary she showed up in her Bible class the next day asking everyone (very seriously), "What does circumcision mean?" She said she didn't understand why everyone was laughing so hard. Oh, the joys of learning a new language as a teenager!

Since I didn't have the blog back when we brought Christina home, here are a few pictures of her from her first months home with us. It's hard to believe she grew so much so quickly, but she is still just as beautiful as ever!

Micaelyn and Joshua, Here we come!!!

2010-08-17T10:26:00.006-04:00

After looking at my precious daughter's picture for over a year now KNOWING she was my daughter (and for many months before I knew she was my daughter I had been looking at her sweet picture on a couple of photolistings praying for her to find a family) I can finally say we leave NEXT WEEK to bring her home. It seems almost surreal after waiting so long, but in the miracle God has woven for us we will not only be bringing home our little girl we will also be bringing home a 14 year old son! Micaelyn and Joshua, we'll be there soon to bring you HOME!

All the Difference

2010-08-16T12:08:00.001-04:00

Like cold water to a weary soul is good news from a distant land. -Proverbs 25:25
We recently received a letter from Joshua. Here it is:

Dear mom and dad,
How are you?
I am glad that you choose me to your family member. Thank you for your gifts that you sent to me. I share and play with them with my close friends.
My best friend is Guang Huang Zheng. He is very kind to me. When I have trouble in doing my homework, he will not tell me the right answer directly, instead he will teach me the ways to analyzing the problem. What’s more, he tells me, “You should not only look for the answers when you suffer trouble in studies, but also look for the way to solve such kinds of problem. Doing this, you won’t be wrong again.” So I share with him first since I have something good to eat and play with now, and then I share with other friends. Finally can you send me some shampoo?
Hope you all to be healthy and happy everyday. I will be waiting for you to come to meet me. I love you very much.
Hai Hua
Jul.30th, 2010

Getting the care package we sent to him caused a bit of a mess, but at least in the end he did receive the things we sent him. We sent him a few small toys, clothes, 20 candy bars (so he could share), toothbrush/toothpaste, a backpack, some pens, a journal, and some pictures.

It was extremely hard for me to read Joshua's request for shampoo. Here is a teenage boy who has for the first time in his life parents to ask for things from, and the one thing he asks for is shampoo. It didn't really shock me, after all I have heard all the stories about how terrible Christina's life was at her orphanage in Siberia and the things she didn't have there. However, even when it's not surprising, it's still agonizing to read that your own son doesn't have even the most basic necessities of life. I think often of the kids at Christina's orphanage in Siberia that begged us to find families for them too. Sadly, most of those kids will never find families, and many will die before they are even 20 years old. Very, very few will ever live a "decent" life (and I put decent in quotes because the few that reach this level of success will still live a life that's far below the poverty level here in America, and they will still face many hardships and prejudices for having grown up as an orphan). Very few people understand why we have willingly chosen such a difficult path. Some of our own family completely disapprove of it. However, when shampoo is the most important thing a child can ask for, when children around the world beg for a family, when small children live by themselves on the street, you can do only 2 things about it - you can choose to forget it and continue living your life as if in complete ignorance of the desperate needs of so many children around the world or you can choose to do something to make a difference. One choice leads to the easy path, one choice leads to the more difficult path. We have chosen to do something about it, and while it may be the more difficult path it is also the more rewarding path, and more significantly it is the path we are called by Christ to take.

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." -Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken" poem

The Starfish Story
Original Story by: Loren Eisley

One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed
a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean.
Approaching the boy, he asked, “What are you doing?”
The youth replied, “Throwing starfish back into the ocean.
The surf is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them back, they’ll die.”
“Son,” the man said, “don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish?
You can’t make a difference!”
After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish,
and threw it back into the surf. Then, smiling at the man, he said…”
I made a difference for that one.”

Having fun with photos

2010-06-22T22:01:00.000-04:00

I rarely take our kids to have their picture made anywhere. I'd love to be able to take them to a professional photographer, especially a really good one, at least once a year, but that's just one of the sacrifices we have made in order to deal with adoption expenses. However, I've really been wanting to get some good pictures of Christina (at 17 she has never had her portrait taken professionally aside from school pictures), and I really wanted to get some good pictures of the kids together (since I've never done that before) so a few weeks ago I took them to Sears. I know it's not the same as taking them to a true professional photographer (like this, one of my friends from high school who is truly an amazing photographer), but with the adoption expenses we are dealing with I'm just happy to have gotten any pictures at all! The best part about getting pictures done at Sears is the ability to purchase a cd of all the images. That way I can not only print up as many pictures as I want whenever I decide I want them, I can also have a lot of fun with the images. Here's a look at the fun I've had with these!

This is the original picture as it was taken. I didn't order any copies because I thought it just didn't look right. Not that my daughter isn't beautiful, just that the portrait could be better.

My first edit, straightened just a little, cropped, lightened, and with some minor touch-ups.

I wanted the focus to be just on her beautiful face.

By playing around on iPhoto I got the picture to look like a drawing. I really like this one a lot!

I think it also looks nice in black and white.

Another picture, truly a beautiful picture to start with.

I really love the way this turned out!

Showing off her face again - so beautiful!

Just as beautiful in black and white!

Another photo I edited just a bit.

All 3 together (I do wish the photographer had placed Malachi on the side with greater lighting instead of Caleb so he wouldn't blend into the background so much).

Another edited version.

I don't usually have time to do much editing on photos, and this was the first I really got to try out the new iPhoto program that came with the new computer (which we were forced to get when the motherboard on the other one died - I really didn't want to have to get a new computer!). Now I can't help but wonder just what I could do with some of the software for editing photos, digital scrapbooking, etc. I'd also love to figure out how to totally redesign my blog with a much better header at the top that actually includes ALL my children. With the new computer I don't have a way to merge multiple pictures into one so I still haven't been able to get Joshua's picture up there. Unfortunately, I haven't a clue which would be the best programs to use and I don't want to waste any money on a program that isn't very good. I hope I figure out something soon!

Another senseless adoption comment

2010-06-22T20:54:00.016-04:00

Most all of us who have adopted children at some point in time have had to deal with irritating, rude, and downright mean comments. It wasn't my first, and I'm sure it won't be my last, but tonight I got stung by yet another senseless comment. I don't think the person meant any ill will, but it really rubbed me the wrong way!

To set the story, last night Caleb went to Vacation Bible School at a church near our home, not our own church. When we went to pick him up his teachers saw Malachi and told us he could come tonight also. I made sure it was okay since he is a little younger, and the teachers said it was not a problem. So tonight when I went back to drop them off I told the lady at the registration table I needed to sign Malachi up also. She questioned me about his age and said since he was only 4 he was too young for the kindergarten class and he couldn't stay unless a parent stayed also. I told her he was about to turn 5, was old enough to start kindergarten this year, and that the teachers had explicitly told me he could come. She didn't seem convinced and started asking me very direct questions.

She asked,"Where do you live?" I'm not sure why that mattered, and I don't generally like telling strangers where I live. Given that this is a small community church it's very unlikely someone who is not a member of that church would drive very far just to take their kids to VBS since there are plenty of other churches doing VBS right now also. Thus she could have easily assumed I lived somewhere nearby, and of course she could have just looked at the address I wrote down on the registration sheet if she really needed to know.

Then she asked, "Do you go to church?" Well, I most certainly had no problem answering that, but I couldn't help but think if we didn't go to church anywhere how uncomfortable that question would make me. There are much better ways to find out if someone goes to church and invite them to your own!

Next question she asked was, "Are these your only 2 kids?" I started off by telling her, "No, we also have a 17 year old daughter." Of course, every time I tell people who see Caleb and Malachi that I also have a 17 year old daughter I can tell immediately what they start thinking - that I got pregnant when I was very young - and their mindset about me seems to take a negative direction. I really dislike the fact that unless I tell people how we adopted Christina when she was 12 they automatically draw negative conclusions about me. So then I told the lady about our 2 kids waiting in China and she questioned me further about our adoptions. Thus I told her how we had adopted Christina from Siberia 4 years ago and Malachi from India 2 years ago, at which point she told me, "Your husband must have a very good job."

Quite often when I tell people about all our adoptions they have very positive reactions, even saying things like, "How wonderful", "God bless you", "What special people you must be", etc. Although I don't expect such positive reactions and don't feel deserving of them (because we aren't adopting to get praise or even to "save a child" - we are adopting because we want to share our love with a child), I will admit I can deal with the positive comments much better than the negative ones (e.g. I usually mention how blessed we feel to have our children with us, that while others may see the sacrifices we have made we see only the blessings we have received), and it really caught me off guard to get a comment like this from a stranger at a church - those are usually the people who say the nicest things!

When we are right in the midst of an adoption that will take over $40,000, when I am dealing daily with the frustration of knowing we will probably have approval to travel in August or maybe even July but we really have no choice but to wait until the beginning of September to travel due to money issues, when we are working so hard to pay off the debt from our previous adoptions while still trying to fund this one, it is very irritating to have someone make the assumption that just because we are adopting these children we must have plenty of money to spare.

NO, NO, NO!!! We have made many, many sacrifices to bring home our children. We work hard to come up with the money. When we don't come up with the money in time we deal with the added burden of debt. While so many people urge being debt free and especially avoiding credit cards, we have dealt with the burden of unwanted credit card debt when we had no other choice for buying airline tickets or paying hotel and other travel expenses. We most certainly aren't wealthy, we have just chosen a different path for our lives and our money than most people choose. Personally, I can't help but feel the blessings we have received have been far, far greater than the sacrifices we have made!

Oh, and I do find it a little ironic this happened right after my last post in which I talked about just a few of the sacrifices we have made to be able to afford adoption. I get so tired of having people tell me, "Oh, I would love to adopt but we just can't afford it." If only more people understood the blessing is much greater than the sacrifices I think there would be fewer orphans in the world!