Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Having fun with photos

I rarely take our kids to have their picture made anywhere. I'd love to be able to take them to a professional photographer, especially a really good one, at least once a year, but that's just one of the sacrifices we have made in order to deal with adoption expenses. However, I've really been wanting to get some good pictures of Christina (at 17 she has never had her portrait taken professionally aside from school pictures), and I really wanted to get some good pictures of the kids together (since I've never done that before) so a few weeks ago I took them to Sears. I know it's not the same as taking them to a true professional photographer (like this, one of my friends from high school who is truly an amazing photographer), but with the adoption expenses we are dealing with I'm just happy to have gotten any pictures at all! The best part about getting pictures done at Sears is the ability to purchase a cd of all the images. That way I can not only print up as many pictures as I want whenever I decide I want them, I can also have a lot of fun with the images. Here's a look at the fun I've had with these!


This is the original picture as it was taken. I didn't order any copies because I thought it just didn't look right. Not that my daughter isn't beautiful, just that the portrait could be better.


My first edit, straightened just a little, cropped, lightened, and with some minor touch-ups.


I wanted the focus to be just on her beautiful face.


By playing around on iPhoto I got the picture to look like a drawing. I really like this one a lot!


I think it also looks nice in black and white.


Another picture, truly a beautiful picture to start with.


I really love the way this turned out!


Showing off her face again - so beautiful!


Just as beautiful in black and white!


Another photo I edited just a bit.


All 3 together (I do wish the photographer had placed Malachi on the side with greater lighting instead of Caleb so he wouldn't blend into the background so much).


Another edited version.


I don't usually have time to do much editing on photos, and this was the first I really got to try out the new iPhoto program that came with the new computer (which we were forced to get when the motherboard on the other one died - I really didn't want to have to get a new computer!). Now I can't help but wonder just what I could do with some of the software for editing photos, digital scrapbooking, etc. I'd also love to figure out how to totally redesign my blog with a much better header at the top that actually includes ALL my children. With the new computer I don't have a way to merge multiple pictures into one so I still haven't been able to get Joshua's picture up there. Unfortunately, I haven't a clue which would be the best programs to use and I don't want to waste any money on a program that isn't very good. I hope I figure out something soon!

Another senseless adoption comment

Most all of us who have adopted children at some point in time have had to deal with irritating, rude, and downright mean comments. It wasn't my first, and I'm sure it won't be my last, but tonight I got stung by yet another senseless comment. I don't think the person meant any ill will, but it really rubbed me the wrong way!

To set the story, last night Caleb went to Vacation Bible School at a church near our home, not our own church. When we went to pick him up his teachers saw Malachi and told us he could come tonight also. I made sure it was okay since he is a little younger, and the teachers said it was not a problem. So tonight when I went back to drop them off I told the lady at the registration table I needed to sign Malachi up also. She questioned me about his age and said since he was only 4 he was too young for the kindergarten class and he couldn't stay unless a parent stayed also. I told her he was about to turn 5, was old enough to start kindergarten this year, and that the teachers had explicitly told me he could come. She didn't seem convinced and started asking me very direct questions.

She asked,"Where do you live?" I'm not sure why that mattered, and I don't generally like telling strangers where I live. Given that this is a small community church it's very unlikely someone who is not a member of that church would drive very far just to take their kids to VBS since there are plenty of other churches doing VBS right now also. Thus she could have easily assumed I lived somewhere nearby, and of course she could have just looked at the address I wrote down on the registration sheet if she really needed to know.

Then she asked, "Do you go to church?" Well, I most certainly had no problem answering that, but I couldn't help but think if we didn't go to church anywhere how uncomfortable that question would make me. There are much better ways to find out if someone goes to church and invite them to your own!

Next question she asked was, "Are these your only 2 kids?" I started off by telling her, "No, we also have a 17 year old daughter." Of course, every time I tell people who see Caleb and Malachi that I also have a 17 year old daughter I can tell immediately what they start thinking - that I got pregnant when I was very young - and their mindset about me seems to take a negative direction. I really dislike the fact that unless I tell people how we adopted Christina when she was 12 they automatically draw negative conclusions about me. So then I told the lady about our 2 kids waiting in China and she questioned me further about our adoptions. Thus I told her how we had adopted Christina from Siberia 4 years ago and Malachi from India 2 years ago, at which point she told me, "Your husband must have a very good job."

Quite often when I tell people about all our adoptions they have very positive reactions, even saying things like, "How wonderful", "God bless you", "What special people you must be", etc. Although I don't expect such positive reactions and don't feel deserving of them (because we aren't adopting to get praise or even to "save a child" - we are adopting because we want to share our love with a child), I will admit I can deal with the positive comments much better than the negative ones (e.g. I usually mention how blessed we feel to have our children with us, that while others may see the sacrifices we have made we see only the blessings we have received), and it really caught me off guard to get a comment like this from a stranger at a church - those are usually the people who say the nicest things!

When we are right in the midst of an adoption that will take over $40,000, when I am dealing daily with the frustration of knowing we will probably have approval to travel in August or maybe even July but we really have no choice but to wait until the beginning of September to travel due to money issues, when we are working so hard to pay off the debt from our previous adoptions while still trying to fund this one, it is very irritating to have someone make the assumption that just because we are adopting these children we must have plenty of money to spare.

NO, NO, NO!!! We have made many, many sacrifices to bring home our children. We work hard to come up with the money. When we don't come up with the money in time we deal with the added burden of debt. While so many people urge being debt free and especially avoiding credit cards, we have dealt with the burden of unwanted credit card debt when we had no other choice for buying airline tickets or paying hotel and other travel expenses. We most certainly aren't wealthy, we have just chosen a different path for our lives and our money than most people choose. Personally, I can't help but feel the blessings we have received have been far, far greater than the sacrifices we have made!



Oh, and I do find it a little ironic this happened right after my last post in which I talked about just a few of the sacrifices we have made to be able to afford adoption. I get so tired of having people tell me, "Oh, I would love to adopt but we just can't afford it." If only more people understood the blessing is much greater than the sacrifices I think there would be fewer orphans in the world!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

It's that time of year again...

...when for the 4th year in a row riding in our van is downright miserable due to the lack of air conditioning

...when I watch all the other neighbors zoom around the yard on their riding lawn mowers while I spend endless hours in the blazing hot sun and stifling humidity pushing a cheap little push mower up an incline and over the rough ground

...when we hear everybody else talking about their vacations to the beach, Disney World, and other neat places while our 6 year old son begs for the experience of staying in a hotel for "at least one night."

...when Vacation Bible School in the morning at our church gives me a chance to run errands and experience time without the kids for a couple of hours for 5 straight days, and I think about how much easier life must be for all the moms whose children go to Mother's Day Out each week at church (or any other part-time child care)

...when Vacation Bible School in the evening at the church around the corner from us gives my husband and I a couple of hours alone for a few days, and we spend the first day in a state of near shock at the concept of actually being ALONE together while imagining how fun life must be for those who can hire a sitter for their children

But then when I see this beautiful face...

...and I see this sweet smile...

...when I think of this precious boy...

...and this sweet little girl...

I have no regrets about how we have chosen to spend our money, and then...

...I am thankful for the old cars we have that are paid off, even if it means driving with no air conditioning, and even if the cars need some work. After all, it's pretty neat to think we are still using my very first vehicle, the truck I bought when I was still a teenager!

...I am thankful for the big yard we have that needs to be mowed and for having a little push-mower to mow it with, for the nice neighbor who fixed the mower so I'm not pushing around a half-broken mower anymore, and for the green grass and weeds that grow in the yard (because in Florida we had too much sand in our yard to grow anything).

...I am thankful that although we don't get to take neat vacations we live in a place that's so nice people come here from all over America for their vacations, and before that we spent many years living in another popular vacation destination along the Gulf Coast of Florida. I'm also thankful for the opportunity to travel around the world to bring home my precious children, and while we've never taken a luxurious vacation personally I think what we have seen has been far more life-changing and rewarding. We have been to an orphanage in Siberia where children begged us to find families for them. We have seen indescribable poverty and depression, homeless mothers begging for help, starving children begging for food, young kids selling themselves in a desperate attempt at survival. We have seen the slums of India, we watched naked children eating from the same piles of garbage on the street corners from which the cows were eating. We have seen hundreds of families living on the streets, and we knew those kids were the lucky ones because at least they had parents to love them as opposed to the thousands and millions of unwanted orphans. In short, we have seen what most people here in America never will, and thus we know just how incredibly blessed be are.

...I am indescribably thankful for the children that are always with me instead of going to a Mother's Day Out program, that go everywhere I go and beg for everything in the store and then whine when they don't get it, that make running the simplest of errands a burdensome task. I rejoice in the fact that I am never alone, because it doesn't mean I have my hands full, it just means I have my heart full!

Sunday, June 6, 2010

A new name

You will be called by a new name that the mouth of the LORD will bestow. - Isaiah 62:2

When we first felt called to adopt our new son in addition to our sweet daughter we had no idea what his Chinese name was (the agency wouldn't give us any information on him since we were already in process to adopt our daughter). Thus when we thought about what we would name him if we were miraculously given approval to adopt him we couldn't help but think about the name we had already planned for our next son. Therefore we always thought of him as "Christian" even when there seemed to be no hope of adopting him.

Once we learned his name, "Hua," we couldn't really think of any American names that were similar, and since Hua wasn't really a name that would fit in well here in America we decided to go with our plan of naming him Christian Isaiah.

A couple of weeks ago completely out of the blue it occurred to me that the name Joshua ends in "hua." After realizing that, it only made sense to change our new son's name to Joshua since it ends with his Chinese name.

Although it took several weeks to get used to the idea of a different name for him, we all like the name Joshua. It is a beautiful name with a very powerful meaning, especially given the miraculous story of Joshua's adoption that could only have been orchestrated through God.

The name Joshua means "God is my salvation." Another translation is "God rescues." People rarely adopt older children, and the vast majority of adoptive families choose to adopt girls instead of boys. Even healthy little boys wait simply because they are a boy, so as a teenage boy, especially one with congenital heart defects and pulmonary hypertension (a potentially life threatening condition that can lead to double heart/lung transplants), Joshua had virtually no hope of finding a family. At 13 time was rapidly running out for him given that on his 14th birthday he would no longer be eligible for adoption. We watched the photolistings for months in hopes this child would find a family since we knew our agency would never allow us to adopt him. Once we began the battle to get our agency's approval to adopt him we knew it would take an absolute miracle. Yes, it seems like common sense that we be allowed to adopt him, and yes, people adopt 2 kids all the time through other agencies. However, our agency NEVER, NEVER, NEVER allows this!

It took a huge battle, lots of effort, way too much time, and enormous faith, but ALL things are possible with God! God truly did rescue Joshua as without this miracle Joshua would have been condemned to life as an orphan in China. In a country where males his age greatly outnumber females and extended families are of great importance, without a family (and thus an inheritance) Joshua almost certainly would never have found a wife. Thus he would have lived his entire life as an orphan with no family - no parents, no grandparents, no wife, no children, etc. His life may have been severely shortened due to a lack of medical care for his pulmonary hypertension. He would never have been taught any kind of faith to help carry him through the trials of life, and he would probably have never learned about Jesus Christ. However, through a great miracle God rescued Joshua, and thus I don't think there could possibly be any name more appropriate for him than one that means "God rescues."

We will keep the middle name of Isaiah (which also means "God is my Salvation; the Lord saves me"). Given all the connections to that name (mentioned in this post) I think it too has great meaning, and Joshua Isaiah seems like a perfect fit

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Our handsome little Indian prince!


To save money I take our passport/visa pictures myself. It can be hard to get a good picture of Malachi (not because he isn't adorable but rather because he has no ability to follow directions), but this one turned out so well I think I may blow it up and frame it!