Monday, December 14, 2009

Tis the season to be jolly...

...or not.

We have yet to hear any news on our requested update for Micaelyn. At this point the last medical information we have for her is a year old. There is a definite reason to be concerned about her health, and yet we're stuck with no way to give our daughter the medical attention she needs.

We have yet to hear any news on our request for a reschedule of fingerprinting. I've called the central USCIS Hague adoption number nearly every day over the last week. At this point they haven't even issued another date yet, and apparently although other locations allow walk-ins the one we were sent to doesn't, not EVER! It is also one of the busiest and is very backed up right now. Why did we have to get sent to such a busy location when there are 2 other closer, less busy locations? I was told we probably wouldn't get another appointment until January. Other people who sent in paperwork at the same time as us (early November) and were sent to other locations have already been fingerprinted and are even starting to get their approvals. At this point it could easily be another MONTH before we get our approval! Of course, that translates into another month waiting to get Micaelyn home.

It is quite common for adoptive parents to send care packages to their waiting children. In fact, there are at least 3 businesses in China that assemble care packages for you based on your requests and the money you want to spend and then send them to your child. They will also forward packages to your child if you want to create a package yourself. You simply send the package to them and then they get it to the right location. People use these care package services to send clothes, toys, blankets, cakes, fruits, candies, tea (for the orphanage workers or foster families), disposable cameras (for the caretakers to take pictures of your child for you to develop later) etc. Often after a family sends a package they get new photos of their child opening the package, enjoying the cake with friends, wearing new clothes, looking at the pictures of their new family, etc. I so desperately want to send a care package to our daughter with a new coat and some winter clothes to keep her warm, a little doll, stuffed animal, some other small toys, etc. Unfortunately, our adoption agency does not allow adoptive parents to do this. Other agencies encourage adoptive parents to do this, with some even providing mailing labels for parents to ship packages directly to orphanages without having to use one of the services in China to forward the package. The orphanage workers and foster families appreciate the clothing, toys, cakes, and other gifts, and the children get an opportunity to start learning about their new family in a positive manner. I just really don't understand why our agency doesn't want families to take advantage of such a great opportunity to help their child start bonding with their new family.

There is a 13 year old boy on our agency's waiting child list we are interested in adopting. Based on his description he would fit perfectly into our family, and our social worker agrees. However, our adoption agency does not allow a family to adopt 2 unrelated children at the same time and will not make exceptions no matter what the circumstances. If this boy is not adopted before his 14th birthday he will live the rest of his life without a family of his own. It won't be enough for a family to be in process to adopt him - a family has to complete all the necessary steps and be in China to adopt him before his birthday. Considering how long it takes to get everything completed there is very little time left for a family to step forward for this boy. I do not understand how an agency (one I have previously given many recommendations for) can place more significance on a rule than on a child. I do not understand how a Christian based adoption agency can be more strict than a communist government (China does allow the adoption of 2 unrelated children in situations like this where at least 1 of the children is about to turn 14 or is otherwise "hard to place"). I do not understand how an agency that is dedicated to finding a family for every child would deny a child a chance to be adopted because the family that wants to adopt him is also adopting another child despite the fact that countless other families from other agencies have successfully adopted 2 unrelated children at the same time. I do not understand why this boy has to keep waiting when there is a family wanting to bring him home.

It seems lately we are hitting one barrier after another and jumping through endless hoops we've already jumped through before. We are just waiting, waiting, waiting - waiting for news of something good to finally happen, waiting for this step and then that step, waiting for more approvals, waiting for money, waiting, waiting, and more waiting!

My fall decorations are still up, and I've got about 30 large storage boxes of Christmas decorations to be put out with Christmas being next week. I guess I should get to work.

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