Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Please pray...

...for sleep!  The plan was to keep Micaelyn fully sedated in a medically induced coma because she is on the ventilator and obviously in a lot of pain as well.  Unfortunately they have been maxing out on all the medications and she is still not sedated.  She has been kicking, fighting, trying to pull the ventilator out, even trying to sit up (she does have arm restraints on but she is quite the fighter!).  She is fully aware of her surroundings and nods her head when spoken to.  It is very obvious based on her responses she is completely cognizant and very uncomfortable and unhappy!  The nurses are amazed by her response (or lack thereof) to the sedation medications, especially given the amount they are putting in her.  It is very unfortunate we don't know her past history because it seems as though her body has a tolerance to the drugs that wouldn't be expected without some pretty extensive exposure previously.  We know she had surgery as a newborn so there was probably some exposure then, but based on how high her tolerance is to the drugs the nurses suggested the possibility of prenatal exposure to drugs.  There is no way we will ever know that, but it could also be the reason for her birth defects if that is the case.

She did not respond at all to the "happy juice" and was completely aware when we were asked to leave so they could take her to surgery.  She got very emotional, reaching for me, and crying for me not to leave her.  This was EXTREMELY hard for me to deal with as her mommy.  It would be hard with any child, but with her adoptive history it was especially hard.  Every single day she tells me, "You're gonna keep me forever, Mommy!  You're not ever gonna take me back to China or let me go, right Mommy?"  She was plenty old enough at adoption to remember the trauma of leaving her foster family, and so it is no surprise she needs the constant reassurance that we are keeping her forever and will never leave her.  Thus it was indescribably hard to leave her for the surgery, especially with her reaching and crying for me.  Please pray for her to have peace and reassurance of our love for her.  She needs as much prayer (or even more) for her emotional well-being as for her physical healing.

We took all the kids (including Christina's boyfriend, Aaron) and my mom to see her this evening.  She was very obviously aware of everyone's presence (everyone else took turns, but I stayed in there the whole time).  She turned toward my mom and started crying when we said her Papaw would come see her soon.  She would get upset when people left and had an especially hard time letting Aaron go.  Several times she opened her eyes and tried to sit up.  If I just barely stepped away from the bed for the briefest of moments she would get very emotional and try to reach for me.  I did manage to help her get calmed down finally and told her I really wanted her to take a little nap so I could take a nap (she had asked me before surgery to please lay in bed with her after her surgery).  After she seemed to finally go to sleep we left to bring all the kids back home.  The nurse felt it best nobody stay with her tonight in hopes she might be more likely to sleep through the night.  Since she is in the PICU she is the only patient assigned to the nurse so we know she's getting good care, but nonetheless it was hard to leave her.  Please pray she starts responding better to the sedation drugs and manages to sleep through the night.  We will be getting back up in just 5 hours to go see her again!
Waiting to get called back.  I let her wear her special Chinese clothes - they are her favorite.  (Unfortunately the charger for my camera battery is missing and I had to use Christina's camera, so the pictures aren't quite as good as normal.
Dressed in her "princess gown" for surgery.
When he lays around like this sucking his thumb it's obvious he doesn't feel well - this is not normal for him!  He is still hurting a lot, crying, etc. from his own surgery last week.
Loving her Mommy!
After surgery.
Mommy's poor little baby!  You can see her distress in the picture.

1 comment:

FaerieMama said...

praying. Nastia is the same way with "happy juice" and anesthesia. I've read that this is fairly common with older adopted kids. Their need for hyper-vigilance makes them almost immune to sedatives....its that terror of losing control...so their body compensates. Praying for your sweetheart tonight.