Hospital Adventures (part 2)

How did Caleb end up hospitalized again in December?

Although he had been completely fine the day before, Caleb woke up on St. Nicholas Day not feeling well.  I normally don't take the kids into the doctor until they have been sick for awhile to give their immune system a chance to fight it off before resorting to drugs.  However, this time I felt he needed to get seen without delay so despite the fact it was a Sunday (meaning his normal doctor wasn't in), I had my husband take him in to the quick care clinic to get checked out.

He had minimal symptoms - just didn't feel well, had a low grade fever (99.3) and had a slightly sore throat - but his heart rate was in the 130s.  Unfortunately, he got seen by a PA who TOTALLY missed the ball!  She diagnosed him with dehydration.  She said Americans just don't drink enough water, drink too much soda, and we live at such a high altitude here it's easy to get dehydrated.  She didn't bother to actually get a real history on Caleb.  If she had, she would have learned our family does NOT drink soda AT ALL, and that Caleb drinks MANY glasses of water throughout the day.  As far as altitude, 940 feet above see level isn't generally considered high altitude!  Caleb's daddy said he wished I had been there to deal with the PA myself.  I would have told her she needed to figure out what was really wrong with my child instead of making an assumption based on habits of the general American public.

As the day went on Caleb continued to decline significantly.  He became completely lethargic, wouldn't eat at all, his fever climbed to over 103, and his heart rate climbed into the 160s.  I gave him ibuprofen which helped reduce his fever and heart rate a bit, though they were still above normal (heart rate dropped to 140s), and I watched him like a hawk all through the night until I could get him in to see his normal doctor the next morning.

Thankfully his normal doctor, though full of patients, not only saw him but also ordered lab work, an EKG, and a chest x-ray.  He determined he was definitely NOT dehydrated!  The chest x-ray showed the possible beginning of pneumonia (exact wording from radiology report was "suspected early or ill-defined infiltrate apical segment left lower lobe").  He wasn't even coughing, and his lungs sounded clear.  There was no clear explanation for his high heart rate, so off to the ER we went.

There was never a clear explanation for Caleb's high heart rate.  He was diagnosed with pneumonia, but it was a mild case that really shouldn't have caused his heart rate to increase that much.  In fact, it was caught so early it was barely visible on the x-ray (multiple doctors said they didn't really see it themselves).  He did have to stay in the hospital for awhile, but eventually they let him go with the promise of close follow-up with his primary care doctor (the hospital also followed up with phone calls to us as well).  However, with a diagnosis of pneumonia, though mild, and a high heart rate we couldn't go anywhere to enjoy any Christmas festivities, not to mention the fact illness started spreading through the rest of the family as well.

There's always next year...

(Oh, and we'll be following up on Caleb's heart rate issues with a visit to a pediatric cardiologist soon.)

Hanging out in the ER.  

Just waiting to be admitted to a real room in the hospital.

Heart rate of 158 during the middle of the night while sleeping.  It would spike even higher in the daytime.

Hospital Adventures

Last year just a few days before Christmas Caleb ended up in the hospital getting emergency surgery for appendicitis.  Aside from the pain and misery it caused him, it also left us unable to do anything fun for Christmas.  We said all year long how this Christmas would be so much better.

Look how we spent this December...

 

Happiness in the Home

One of the things that seems to most impress people about our family is the happiness that is so evident among us.  Despite the fact that our 8 children come from 8 different places with most of them having painful backgrounds they still radiate happiness and joy to others, and despite the fact that like most marriages we have had our own share of problems to deal with we are still best friends, always happiest when we are together.

How have we taken the 10 of us, all from VERY different backgrounds, and melded us together into one big happy family (note I didn't say perfect, that's not possible - but we really are quite happy overall!)?  There is no one answer to this question, it is a combination of factors, but perhaps the biggest factor is that we learned to remove all negativity from our life.

Have you heard of the new trend known as the "KonMari" method based upon the bestseller book titled "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up" by Marie Kondo?  The book is about organizing and simplifying your life based upon one important concept - keep only the things which spark joy to you.  If an item does not spark joy then it should not take up space in your life.

This is a GREAT technique for decluttering your home, but the amazing thing is this same concept can be applied in other areas of your life also - the activities that occupy your time, the places you go, and even your relationships with other people.  The bottom line - if it doesn't spark joy, it doesn't belong in your life.

Life is too short to waste any time dealing with people who bring negative emotions into your life.  Regardless of how much you may love a person, how much you may WANT to have a relationship with them, or what your connection is to them, if they are not a POSITIVE part of your life then they don't belong in it.  The choice is up to them - either be a positive part of your life, or don't be a part of your life at all.

So what happens when someone invades the happiness in our home with negativity?  Well, we have found the best response is no response.  Even if the person is completely wrong in their beliefs, words, or actions towards us, we do not respond. Perhaps it comes from our admiration for the Amish, perhaps it's our own beliefs, or perhaps we just don't want to fool with the inevitable argument.  Regardless, we have found if someone truly wants to be a part of our lives, and if they have a complaint about us, they will approach us out of love and with a willingness to solve the problem.  A person who attacks without seeking to find the truth isn't really interested in our family anyway.

As an example, last year we were involved in a situation in which someone said something wrong about us to someone else, which in turn led that someone else to react with negativity towards us.  We were both shocked and hurt at what happened.  We considered defending ourselves, but in the end we just backed away.  After all, of those that were turning against us, NOT.A.SINGLE.ONE bothered to ask for our side of the story.  Had they really cared about us instead of lashing against us based on the words of someone else, they would have approached us with an attitude of openness and love, e.g. "So-and-so said this about you, and it really bothered me, but I wanted to get your side of the story before I made any judgements against you."

Our family is way too precious to let negativity have a place in our lives.  It hurts when those we love and care about us cause us pain, but in order to keep the happiness in our family we have to let them go, no matter whether they are a friend we cared deeply for or a family member for whom we have an unconditional love.  We will continue to pray for them and pray for a restoration of our relationship with them, we'll continue to love them, but we will love them from a distance.  In the end, it's not that we're keeping certain people out of our lives.  It's that we're keeping negativity out of our lives.

These kids, and their siblings, are way too precious and wonderful to waste our time dealing with negativity!

Big Ern's Playhouse

When my husband was stationed at Tyndall AFB in Panama City he worked on top-secret projects inside a highly secure vault alongside my father.  My husband did so much work the place got named in his honor!  Who would have figured when they named the place Big Ern's playhouse that he would eventually have TEN kids?  His home has now become the playhouse!

Adoption Update

People keep asking us about our adoption, when we get to bring the kids home.  Sadly our social worker took forever to get the home study completed.  Thus we are still awaiting our USCIS approval so that we can send off our dossier to China.  We should have that approval very soon, maybe this week.  Hopefully the rest of the process will move much quicker.  Our new son and daughter shouldn't have to spend another Christmas without us because of a a slow social worker!

I always try to find the positive in everything, so at least this means we have longer to come up with the many tens of thousands of dollars necessary to bring the kids home.  However, adoption is never about us, it's about the kids waiting to come home.  Two kids are waiting for us, and both are old enough to understand they have a family coming for them, yet they can't possibly understand waiting so many months for us to get to them.

Our son's 4th birthday was the very beginning of February.  He was told then about us, shown pictures of us, and while this is always a special moment it was even more special with him because of the bond between him and our daughter Hannah.  He looked at the picture of our family and said, "That's my mommy.  That's my daddy.  She's Anna."  (Hannah's name in China was An Na.)  This sweet boy is ready to come home to his family!  And at 10 years old, Grace has spent way too many years already waiting for a family, watching other kids get adopted while she was left behind!

Jacob being shown a picture of Hannah on his birthday.  His birthday was celebrated with the good news that he not only had a family coming for him, it was the same family that adopted his best friend!

Please pray the rest of the process moves quickly and smoothly, and pray too for success with our fundraising efforts.  We will NOT be able to go get Jacob and Grace without the necessary funds!

I will be updating the blog soon with details of our current fundraisers, but as always if you would like to help 2 precious children come home to their family you can make a tax-deductible donation to our Reece's Rainbow account here:  http://reecesrainbow.org/88887/sponsormurray-2

The Face of Being Pro-Life

The pro-life movement often bothers me, not because I am not pro-life but because I see so many people claiming to be against abortion without ever actually DOING anything to support LIFE!  Many (not all) of these people are Christians, and the Bible says, "Be ye DOERS of the word, and not hears only." (James 1:22)  Interesting enough, it's only a few verses later that we are told caring for orphans is part of a "pure and faultless" religion.  (James 1:27)

So yes, we need to be pro-life, but it's not enough to merely say we are pro-life, we need to DO something about it!

We need to be there to offer support and encouragement to those who feel abortion is their only way.  We need to not only offer our emotional support, we need to meet their other needs as well!

Do they feel they can't have a baby because they have no one to take care of the baby while they are at work or school?  Then we need to offer child care to them, FREE of charge!

Do they feel they can't have a baby because they can't afford it? Then we need to offer help to them in the form of groceries, clothing, housing assistance, etc.

Do they feel they can't have a baby because the child they are carrying has special needs?  Then we need to help them see the joy that can come with a child who has special needs and offer to help them care for that child as necessary be it help with child care, medical expenses, respite, etc.  If they truly feel unable to care for the child we need to show them adoption is a way to not only allow that child to have life but also to bless another family, and then we need to step forward to make sure that child gets adopted.  Then when a family adopts that child we need to offer support to that family as well, because it is really about helping that child!

If we don't want a child to be aborted, then we need to make sure we are truly doing ALL we can to save that child and give it the opportunity for a life full of happiness and love.

Being pro-life shouldn't just be an opinion, it should be an action.  And it doesn't just apply within our borders.  God doesn't see borders.  He doesn't care about nationalities, and neither should we.  ALL LIFE MATTERS!  From the unborn children of our own neighborhoods to the orphans suffering all around the world, no child is either too young (i.e. those still in the womb) or too old to deserve the opportunity to live LIFE, to have a hope and a FUTURE, to be LOVED!

Children don't start mattering once they are born as the pro-choice people would have us believe, but neither do they stop mattering when they are born as many pro-life people seem to believe (at least in their actions despite what their words say, and no, I do not believe adoption is for everybody but caring for these children is - you do not have to adopt to help care for orphans).

Children matter before they are born, from the very beginning, and we need to do our part to protect them no matter how small.  They also matter once they are born, and we need to do our part to protect them, no batter how big.  From the unborn child about to be murdered through abortion to the teenager living in an orphanage, they all need our care and our love. 

It is not enough to SAY we are pro-life, maybe even post a few articles about it on our Facebook page. We need to BE pro-life - in actions, not just in words.

The faces of pro-life - A precious little boy with Down syndrome, abandoned by his birth parents and left for nearly 4 years in terrible conditions in a poor orphanage in China before being lovingly adopted by our family.  An incredible little girl, born here in the United States to parents who loved her dearly, enough to give her life and place her for adoption when they felt unable to adequately care for her special needs.  We are the ones blessed to call her our beloved daughter.  These are just 2 of the 7 children we have adopted, with another on the way.  We don't just say we are pro-life, we live it.  If you are pro-life, what are you DOING to live your beliefs out in action?  I guarantee, you will be blessed by your actions!

"Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me."  Mark 9:37

Every child is special!

Over the next month we have several thousand more dollars due to our agency.  We have launched a new t-shirt fundraiser to help with these expenses.  This one is perfect for everyone who loves children!  It is available in a wide variety of styles and sizes, including long sleeved and children's sizes.  Click the link for more details:  Every child is special!

 

Finally healthy!

Back last fall Malachi started complaining incessantly of not feeling well.  He had recurring strep throat.  He was MISERABLE with stomach pain daily, and the horrible pain was coupled with frequent diarrhea.  He also complained of chest pain and shortness of breath daily, which was especially concerning given his heart defects.  He was even complaining of his arms and legs hurting.  He just ALWAYS felt HORRIBLE!  He was also losing weight, concerning for any kid but especially one as tiny as him.

Our biggest concern was his chest pain, but his cardiologist said Malachi had no NEW cardiac issues, nothing that should be causing all the new problems he was experiencing.  He referred us to the pulmonologist.

The pulmonologist didn't really have any great answers, but she did want to put him on a host of new medications, including steroids.  I was VERY hesitant about so many new drugs, especially for a kid with heart defects, when there really didn't seem to be an answer to his problems.

The next step was a gastroenterologist.  That proved to be a frustrating experience!  In the end they said his problems were all caused by food allergies.  We cut nearly EVERYTHING from his diet - they said he was allergic to wheat, rice, corn, milk, eggs, peanuts, tomatoes, and more.  He not only couldn't eat these products, he couldn't eat anything with even a trace of these products such as the small amount of cornstarch in seasoning mixes and many other foods.  Gluten-free products were no help because they usually contain rice flour in place of wheat flour.  There was next to nothing he could eat, which made him even more miserable, and the changes in his diet did nothing to alleviate his problems.

Once I got a copy of the blood work for myself I believed there was no way food allergies could be causing problems as severe as what Malachi was experiencing.  Most of his results were in the class 1 allergy category, with some of the values being just barely high enough to even be interpreted (e.g. 0.37, 0.38 - see the chart below to see how minimal these would be considered).  Of the 2 test results that fell into class 2, they both were on the very low end of that category.  It made no sense that allergies as minimal as these would cause so many problems, and that a change in diet hadn't helped him further justified that thought.

So the next step was to an allergy/immunology doctor.  Here we received confirmation that Malachi's food allergies definitely should not be the source of all his problems.  His food allergies were so minimal they didn't even show up with skin testing.

At this point we were at a bit of a loss as to what would be causing so many problems - stomach pain, diarrhea, weight loss, chest pain, shortness of breath, recurring strep throat, arm pain, leg pain, overall feelings of discomfort, lethargy, etc.  What could we do?

It was about this time we pulled Malachi and his siblings out of school and began to homeschool them once again.  I truly believe this was a tremendous help.  Our kids went from being sick all the time to never being sick.  They also started getting lots more sleep.  The ones who do better sleeping later could do so, and Micaelyn (who is always an early riser) could take a much needed nap during the day.

We also started working hard to ensure a healthy diet for us all with a particular interest in Malachi.  We limit packaged food products, and when we do use them (e.g. dried pasta, tomato sauce) we try to get ones that are truly all-natural.  We're trying to cut chemicals out of our diet.  Even something as seemingly healthy as whole-wheat bread usually has a long list of chemicals in it.  We've discovered some nearby Amish markets where we can get freshly made bread, peanut butter, and a host of other products without any added chemicals.  We've also switched to locally made fresh cheese, we search for apples without wax coatings, and we are very careful about where we go on the rare occasions we eat out.  We've found the very best way to start the day is with a smoothie, and thankfully after years of making them I finally found a supplement for them I feel makes them both healthier and tastier!    The smoothies also work great as afternoon snacks or evening treats so they provide a way to give the kids a snack without resorting to something unhealthy.  Our diet was never bad (e.g. we have never had sodas and always limited junk foods), but I think the added nutrition from the frequent smoothies has helped a lot.

Over the past several months Malachi has gradually started feeling better to the point now where he rarely complains.  He hasn't had anymore strep throat, nor has he had any other illness.  He hasn't complained of chest pain or shortness of breath, and he says his arms and legs no longer bother him.  Most significantly (since it was his greatest and most frequent complaint before), he rarely complains of stomach pain anymore, and when he does it's more discomfort than real pain.  He no longer has diarrhea and has been steadily picking up weight again.

We will probably never know what was causing all of Malachi's problems.  I do not believe it to have been a psychological issue with school because he really loved school.  However, I do think taking him out of school was a big help since he no longer had to deal with the constant exposure to germs and frequent illnesses, and he could get as much sleep as necessary.  I also believe the smoothies I give him has helped a lot.   The supplement I use is super healthy on its own (it's designed to be a meal replacement shake), so combined with the other ingredients I use the smoothie becomes a super nutrient rich food source.  Regardless, we are just grateful for Malachi's better health!

How to save a life...

The picture to the side is a clip from a Chinese newspaper "finding ad" showing the face of a recently abandoned little girl estimated to be 3 years old. Why are we passionate about caring for orphans? Because they are not just pictures. They are CHILDREN, REAL CHILDREN. No child deserves to be abandoned, no child deserves to be left behind, no child deserves to live in the conditions in which many orphans live, and no child deserves a life without love. We live in a society in which many fight for the care of animals but few fight for the care of orphans. Yes, animals are important, but they will NEVER compare to the worth of a child!!! Those of us who have opened our eyes to the plight of these children cannot turn away. We will never stop fighting for them. We will adopt those whom others have overlooked. We will advocate for the ones still waiting. We will encourage and support other adoptive families. We will donate time and money to help children find families and to help families get their children home. And we will pray for others to join our fight, because it is not about us - it is about the children, the abandoned, unwanted, uncared for, unloved, forgotten children. It is a fight we ALL should be fighting. Yes, Christians love to point out the many verses from the Bible that make it so clear of our responsibility to care for these children, but it's not just "a Christian thing." Caring for orphans is the right thing no matter what your religious beliefs. So when you see our posts about orphans don't just skim over them because it's not your thing. Ask yourself what you can do to help. It doesn't take a lot. You don't have to adopt to make a difference, but whether it be advocating for waiting children or the families adopting these children, helping with a fundraiser (and just sharing the link is helping by bringing more attention), donating time and/or money, or praying, YOUR HELP IS IMPORTANT - you really can make a difference! The little girl in the picture - she is our Grace, our almost 10 year old daughter still waiting for us to bring her home. She has been waiting YEARS for a family. There were many who advocated for her. They led her to us. They helped to save a life.
 

Keurig Coffee Maker Fundraiser

A friend of ours is hosting a Keurig Coffee Maker Fundraiser to help us get Grace and Jacob home and help another family (also our friends!) get their precious new daughter home.  Please go check it out and be a part of this fun event!  https://www.facebook.com/events/411608235677768/

Homeschool Field Trip - Davy Crockett State Park

Several weeks ago we took the kids on a field trip to the Davy Crockett State Park.  We must have chosen the coldest day of spring to go.  Soon we will go back and spend more time there.  At least the kids got to see it, so now when they are reading about Davy Crockett they can picture exactly what his home was like.

Standing on the porch of Davy Crockett's home

The stone reads, "On this spot Davy Crockett was born."  Turns out he was born next to a river in Tennessee, not up on a mountaintop like the song says!

A new name!

We have finally decided on a name for our new daughter ("Yvonne" is the name she has been known by for many years on all the waiting child lists and groups, but it is not the name she goes by in China).  We knew we wanted a name that relates in some way to our Christian faith.  We had a few ideas, and when we received a couple of new videos of our daughter it became clear which one was just perfect - Grace!  The videos showed us that she is a very graceful girl who loves to dance.  We think the name fits her just perfectly!

I will post the first new video of Grace when our FSP on Reece's Rainbow (http://reecesrainbow.org/88887/sponsormurray-2) reaches $1500, and I will post the second when it reaches $2000.  For now I will give you this - a link to a post from 2011 advocating for a family for this precious girl (she's been waiting YEARS for a family!).  Even back then they called her "a graceful girl."  There is a brief video of her dancing.  She was cute back then, but I can't wait to show the new videos because she has truly become a great dancer!  http://holtinternational.org/blog/2011/11/a-graceful-girl-from-china/

Beckwith Weidemann Syndrome

I know many people stumble upon my blog while searching for information on Beckwith Weidemann Syndrome.  Because it's a more rare syndrome it can be harder to find information about it, particularly from a personal experience point-of-view.  Here are my 2 girls with BWS.  They are both beautiful, but they are even more amazing on the inside!  They have endured more than most kids medically, but they are just as happy and loving as can be!  And they both love dressing up as princesses!  (And just in case you're wondering, they are NOT biologically related!  Micaelyn was adopted from China, and Elianna was adopted from here in the United States.)

Eye patching

Elianna has had to wear eye patches for quite some time now.  She's really grown annoyed by them and resists wearing them, but on this gorgeous spring day she was full of smiles!