Three months ago... (Sunday, September 5)

... a precious little angel walked into my life, and my heart was forever changed. She was the little girl I had felt in my heart for more than half my life (I knew even as a kid I would one day adopt a little girl from China). I had stared at her picture for endless hours knowing for more than a year she was my little girl, and for months before I had known for sure she was mine I had looked at her sweet face on various photolistings and prayed she would have a family while wondering about the tug on my heart I had for her. Needless to say, this moment was a VERY long awaited moment, but it was well worth the wait!

My first glimpse of her - as soon as the car was stopped I saw the foster grandmother who I recognize from pictures (we had always assumed she was the foster mom), and I began eagerly searching around for Micaelyn. Then I saw a man leading the most beautiful little girl I had ever seen up the street, my precious DAUGHTER!

The pictures stopped after this one, because at that moment for the first time ever I held my baby girl in my arms. The moment was indescribable. It was like a piece of my heart that had been missing forever had been found. My love for her was both instantaneous and intense. No matter how hard I fought them back there was no holding back the tears, tears of joy, for the precious child I had waited so desperately long for was finally in my arms to love forever.

Right away we were led into the building to the place we were supposed to have met Micaelyn. After a few minutes I reluctantly let her out of my arms so Ernie could hold her. Of course, since I am the only one that ever takes any pictures, this is when the pictures started back up.

Micaelyn gets some final loving from her beloved foster dad. The bond between them was obvious. His love and adoration for her was clear. It was heartbreaking to think about the separation that was to come all too soon.

The foster granddad (foster dad's dad) looks on. Clearly he had also been very close and loving towards Micaelyn.

It's often said there is a special bond between dads and daughters (and likewise between moms and sons). Micaelyn was truly blessed to have been so greatly loved by both a foster dad and granddad during the first 3 1/2 years of her life before she came to us. We know all too well how a child can be affected when they live without this love, and thus we are so grateful to God for the people in Micaelyn's province that stepped out to make a difference in the lives of the precious children who were suffering in the orphanages. We have heard from many sources the foster care program there was started by a group of Christians who wanted to help these children. Because they answered the call to care for the orphans hundreds of children like Micaelyn have received love and care so vital to their healthy development. The difference that love makes it unmistakable... and amazing.

While playing with the other kids Micaelyn fell down and got hurt a little. She immediately went to her foster dad for comfort. It was a very touching moment to see him care for her not just in fun as he had been doing but also in a comforting way when she was sad. It was also a brief glimpse at just how hard her grief would be without him there to comfort her once the foster family left.

Caleb tries to get her to play some more.

The family photo, necessary for the adoption paperwork, was taken before the foster family left. Otherwise it would have been impossible to take it, because once they were gone my poor little girl was overcome with trauma and grief. The moment she realized they were gone she began screaming and fighting. We were one of those families you sometimes read about, the one where the child is so traumatized they scream and fight for dear life and literally have to be held in restraint due to their kicking, flailing, and trying to escape.  There was no calming her down, and I didn't feel it even made sense to. I knew the best thing was to just get back to the peace of the hotel room. It was a long ride back, and while I was ever so happy to finally have my precious daughter in my arms it was heartbreaking to know how much she was hurting inside.

Back at the hotel I got Micaelyn cleaned up and changed. It felt so wonderful to finally be able to dress her after looking at clothes and dreaming of her wearing them for over a year. I gave her a photo of her foster dad holding her at her birthday. She clung to it for dear life. She would stay by the window where she would look down to the street and scream "BABA!!!!!!!!!" at the top of her lungs. She would hold the photo right up to her face and scream "Baba!" as if touching the photo might somehow bring him back. This was so very hard for me, because I remembered doing nearly the same thing when my dad had died a few years ago - I would look at his picture and desperately wish it could really be him instead of just a picture. It was so hard to grasp the concept of him being forever gone, to never again be able to hear his voice, to hug him, to talk to him. I understood how Micaelyn felt over the loss of someone so special, her "baba." It was heartbreaking to see her pain, and at the same time it was heartbreaking to remember my own pain both at the loss of my father more recently and also the loss of my first stepdad as a child, both of whom she is named after. Thus it was so natural for me to hold her and comfort her, and thankfully she wanted me to do so.

 
Later in the evening we walked to WalMart as a diversion. I knew she would probably stop crying in hopes she was going back to the foster family, and though I knew she would be disappointed when we came back to the hotel I also felt she needed to get outside and take a break. I carried her in my arms the ENTIRE time (all 38 pounds of her!) because I felt it better for her to stay close and feel my touch on her. She obviously enjoyed picking out some new toys, a new shirt, and some snacks. She loved to look at all her things we had brought from the US, the things left with her by the foster family, and the new things we had just gotten. It was fun to watch her look at everything. She was obviously very pleased with all the new clothes. She also was very happy to have new necklaces and bracelets and she loved having me paint her fingernails and toenails.

I knew nighttime would be very hard for her. However, she was so exhausted she didn't fight going to bed (though she did wake up crying through the night). Caleb was so sweet to her, and I think she was really comforted by his gentleness towards her.

There aren't words to describe the love I felt right from the beginning for this precious little girl. We had started this adoption thinking we would adopt a baby girl from China, not a 3 1/2 year old. However, as soon as I held her I knew she was mine, I knew she was the child I had been waiting for, the one I had loved in my heart for years before she was even born. It was truly as if she were a part of me that had been missing and finally found. From the moment I first held her I knew I was 100% completely head over hills in love with her. She is a true blessing from God.

Things are going great!

I am still here, I just haven't been on the computer since returning home. I haven't even downloaded pictures yet! I am not sure I'll get a new post up by the weekend, but by early next week at the latest I should have one with pictures. It looks like something happened with my blog while we were in China, so I've got to figure out why all the old pictures aren't showing and get it looking right again.

The new kids are both doing great. Micaelyn is just as happy as can be and fits in like she has always been here. She looks at pictures of herself in China and starts talking about herself there (using her Chinese name - otherwise she uses her new name), but there is no sign of grieving to go with it. Really I can't believe how well she has adjusted in such a short period of time! She is a happy, smiley little girl who follows me everywhere when she is not running with her brothers. She is my shadow, and she is Caleb's echo!

Joshua is also doing wonderful. Actually, I can't believe how smoothly things have gone with him. He is a very good kid who causes few problems. He plays great with the younger kids. He is very easy-going. He's also very quiet. I think that is a combination of him naturally being a quieter kid along with the language barrier (unlike Micaelyn who talks all the time he doesn't talk to us any in Chinese because he knows we don't understand it). He started school this week and is settling in well there. I am sure the presence of so many Asian kids, including a few Chinese students, along with a Chinese teacher has been very helpful and reassuring to him. He is in ESL classes for 4 periods of the day along with other international students. He is also taking Mandarin from the Chinese teacher, and since it is a class for kids wanting to learn Mandarin and learn about the Chinese culture I'm sure it will be an easy class for him. However, we wanted him to take it to both help him remember Mandarin (which is not his first language, Cantonese is his first language) and also to provide a level of comfort/familiarity along with the opportunity for him to excel in a class since he is used to being a top student. He had a blast at church on Wednesday with the youth - they played ping-pong and he was unbeatable! No one could get a single point past him apparently, and he did NOT want to leave!

So all in all things are going great here! Life is busy and at times a bit crazy but so full of love and joy! Hopefully I will get pictures downloaded soon, and then I'll provide a few more details about the transition each of the kids made and the things we did (and still do) to help them with that transition. I know a lot of other people who read my blog are interested in adoption, older child adoption, preschool adoption, special needs adoption, and adoption of 2 kids at the same time so I want to make sure I address those points in hopes that more precious children will be welcomed into the arms of a loving family.

Finally in my arms

After waiting over a year, I finally have my precious little girl in my arms!

I was planning to post pictures of her smiling, but the internet has been painfully slow so I'm finally giving up for now. However, I have figured out the process now so at least I can do it later this evening. This picture was taken on our first day with her.

Micaelyn is doing absolutely wonderfully now. She slept till the alarm went off at 6:30 this morning, and she didn't cry any when she woke up. In fact, the only time she has cried today was when she got all her shots, and she had no problems letting me comfort her. She seems just as happy as can be, though I am sure she will continue to grieve for awhile. She is a very bouncy little girl, always smiling and giggling. I am completely in love with her!

Our little girl is finally smiling!

After nearly a week of terrible grieving, our little girl has finally opened up!  Thank you so much for all the prayers!  Not surprisingly, Caleb was the first to get her to smile.  Then the combination of Caleb and Malachi along with Joshua finally got her playing around a little (before she had pretty much done nothing but cry and scream for her foster family).  Eventually she broke out of her shell and we finally got to see our precious little girl's true personality.  My, oh my, this little girl is a spunky one!  She is every bit as spicy as the extremely spicy food her province is known for - she is my spicy Guizhou gal!  She most definitely is not a quiet little girl who wants to sit around playing with dolls, and she easily holds her own with the boys.  Her smile is adorable, her laugh is irresistible.  She is very mischievous, and I'm sure she will be quite a handful on her own.  The combination of her running with two little boys will definitely keep me busy, especially with two teenagers also!

Micaelyn still wakes up in the night crying for the foster family and refuses to go back to sleep so the nights are hard, but at least the days are not so bad now.  (Ernie gets to sleep in the other room, so at least he gets more sleep.) Also, before she kept trying to leave the hotel room (and since she had figured out how to unlock the deadbolt we were having to keep constant guard of the door both day and night).  Over the last day she has been getting her shoes on and bag packed but not opening the door quite as much.  Last night after she put her shoes on I took them off and hid all her shoes.  I also hid her bag she likes to carry everywhere.  Another thing she started doing right after we got her was saying she needed to use the bathroom (that was another phrase I figured out pretty quickly!).  In the middle of the night she'll say she needs to go, then after I let her go less than 5 minutes later she wants to go again.  It is a very difficult battle because on the one hand I think she is playing games with me, trying to be in control, and I have to win that battle.  On the other hand, it's hard to say no when your child is crying to go to the bathroom.  Not only is that akin to denying her basic necessities (toilet), how can I ever be completely sure she really doesn't need to go again?  Last night after she woke up I let her go, but I finally held my ground and completely refused to let her go again.  She refused to get back in bed, and since I didn't want her to bother Caleb I let her lay on the ground but made her lay right next to me so I could hold her down (not forcefully, I just wasn't letting her get up given her habit of trying to leave the room).  For 2 hours she kept trying to get up and I would lay her back down.  She cried, she screamed, and when it was finally morning she fell asleep for a few more minutes before getting up for good.  She was very happy and playful for a few hours, but now she looks exhausted and is cranky again.  I greatly hope she starts sleeping through the night soon!

Yesterday we had the medical exam for the visas.  What a nightmare that was!  The power was out in the building, and it felt like it was at least 100 degrees inside the building.  We had thought it was so hot outside when we were walking there, but after being in there for so long when we walked out of the building it actually felt cool outside after being trapped inside with no A/C.  Because of the conditions the kids didn't get their shots yet - they will get them when we go back to get the TB test read on Monday.  Micaelyn did NOT like the TB test, so I'm sure getting a pile of shots will be quite traumatic for her.  Please pray that doesn't set us back with her.

After the medical exams we had lunch at the infamous Cow & Bridge Thai restaurant that seems so popular with adoptive families.  I hate to say it, but it was a huge letdown to us.  We had had really high hopes for a wonderful lunch given how much we love Thai food, and we were terribly disappointed.  I know we are greatly biased when it comes to Thai food since my in-laws own an excellent Thai restaurant (Ernie's step-mom is from Thailand), but honestly we get better Thai food in Pigeon Forge right outside the Smoky Mountains.  Hopefully soon we'll be able to make a trip to San Antonio to let the kids see their grandparents and fill ourselves up with some awesome spring rolls and Thai food.

Ernie is doing a lot better and didn't even need any medicine to get over his sickness.  I have been taking antibiotics for several day now and seem to finally be improving, though I'm far from over it.  I think I spent half my childhood with bronchitis, so I guess it's not surprising.  Unfortunately, the pink eye is still quite obvious.  We have had places to go every day, and I have to wear my contacts to be able to see which prevents me from putting the drops in as often as I need to.  At least with Micaelyn waking me up during the night it's no problem to keep up with the drops every 4 hours through the night!

We are very ready to come home.  We were told by our adoption agency to plan extra days at the end of the trip in case something didn't work out, so instead of flying home on the 17th like we could we don't get to fly home until the 20th.  As soon as we arrived the staff here started asking us why we are not going home as soon as we get the visas.  They were shocked we were told to stay a few extra days and said that was completely unnecessary as they had worked so hard to get things expedited for us.  We are more than a little annoyed that we are having to spend so much extra money and time here (which means more time away from work for Ernie and more time away from Christina and our home for all of us) when it was completely unnecessary.  Had we not been told to leave some extra time at the end of the trip we could be flying home next Friday.  Needless to say, we aren't too pleased with our agency for that.

I'll post pictures soon.  We are trying to let Joshua have a lot of time on the computer since there is really nothing else for him to do when we are sitting around in the hotel room, and Ernie has to use it sometimes as well so it's a challenge to find time to post. We are going to go out walking for awhile so they can clean our rooms, and after we come back I'll get the newest pictures downloaded and posted.  Now that I finally have some of Micaelyn's adorable smile I am eager to post them!

We have BOTH kids!

I'm sorry for being out of touch.  First something happened with the computer that prevented us from accessing the internet.  Initially we thought it was a problem with the hotel internet access, so that kept Ernie from figuring out the problem sooner, but once we moved on to Micaelyn's city and still couldn't access the internet we knew it wasn't just the hotel.  By the time Ernie figured it out we moved on to a new hotel in a new city that had no internet service.  Once we got back to Micaelyn's city and got her I was tied down with her.  Now we are in Guangzhou and shouldn't have any more internet problems.  Hopefully I'll get a chance to do some posts on each of our previous days here in China, but for now I'll just tell you about our new kids!

First we got Micaelyn.  There really aren't words to describe what it was like to finally see my little girl I had waited so long for.  I have known she was my daughter for more than a year, for many months before that I had constantly looked at her picture on the photolistings and prayed for her to find a family.  For more than a decade we had planned to adopt from China once I was old enough to meet the age requirement.  For more than 2 decades I had dreamed of adopting a little girl from China.  Needless to say, finally holding Micaelyn was a very long awaited dream come true.

When we arrived at the adoption center on Sunday afternoon as soon as we pulled up I saw her foster grandmother (who we had thought was the foster mom because she was always the one with Micaelyn in the pictures we had).  I started eagerly searching the street for Micaelyn, and then I saw her walking up with a young man (who we soon learned was the foster dad).  At that point the endless months of waiting caught up with me and the tears started flowing.  I did the best I could to control myself, but once I had my precious baby girl in my arms it was nearly impossible not to cry those tears of joy.

I imagine we were supposed to meet Micaelyn in the office rather than in the street, so right away we were led up there.  I could tell she was scared but she did let us hold her.  We spent a few minutes talking to the foster family (foster dad and his mom and dad) and then all of a sudden they were gone.  Within a minute of their leaving Micaelyn noticed their absence and was distraught.  She was screaming, kicking, flailing, etc., and that was the way it was getting her to the hotel.  She wouldn't let go of the bag of yogurt her foster dad had given her, wouldn't let us touch it.  Eventually we took her for a walk to try to calm her down.  It worked, but I think that was only because she thought we were taking her home.  She had even gathered her things together along with a picture of her foster dad holding her to carry with her.  Once we got back to the hotel she let loose again.  She spent endless hours screaming at the top of her lungs, even all through the night.  It was easy to figure out the Chinese words for "go home" because she kept repeating them over and over.  She was especially close to her foster dad.  She would not let go of his picture even for one second to change her clothes, and she would hold it right up to her face and scream "Baba!" as loud as she possibly could.  Even Caleb couldn't sleep through her screaming, and I was honestly afraid the hotel would say something to us due to her incessant screaming.

So went Sunday evening, Monday, and Tuesday.  On the bright side, despite her screaming to go back to her foster family she had no problems attaching to me.  This was truly an answer to prayer as I have heard so many stories of the child rejecting the new mom.  Ever since we got her she has wanted me to hold her.  The only time she tries to reject me is when we are around other Chinese people.  The airplane ride Wednesday morning was especially painful.  She kept crying to go home, so the people behind us started talking to her.  Immediately she wanted to go to them instead of staying with me.  Then the airplane stewardess offered to take her to the back of the plane (thankfully we were in the next-to-last row so that wasn't far away).  Of course, then she wanted absolutely nothing to do with me anymore which made getting off the plane quite difficult. 

Later that day we went to go meet Joshua, and just as with Micaelyn we met him in the wrong place as we happened to show up at the same time as him.  As we were walking into the building I recognized him waiting by the elevator - he was wearing the same clothes he seems to always wear.  It was a little bit awkward, and once we got off the elevator he was taken away and we were apologized to for meeting him that way and soon we were allowed to meet him properly.  It was obvious right away he is a very quite kid, particularly around strangers.  The language barrier didn't help.  Due to the fact the adoption has to be completed and registered before his 14th birthday this weekend we were quickly moved into a room to sign the adoption paperwork (we didn't do the normal 24 hour wait).

Once we came back to the hotel we went out to the walking street by our hotel and found a Pizza Hut to eat at (which made Caleb and Malachi very happy).  It was really nice that they also had some Chinese dishes, so Joshua got some soup to go with his pizza and we got fried rice for Micaelyn (she didn't eat any pizza).  Joshua has been really good to all his little siblings, and his presence seems to be helping Micaelyn since he can talk to her in Mandarin Chinese (Cantonese is actually his first language, Mandarin his second).  She hasn't shown such a preference to him as to reject me, but she is happy to be near him.  She likes holding his hand, sitting next to him, etc.  He has been really sweet to her, but at the same time he hasn't tried to actually take care of her so she gets the perfect combination of having him nearby for comfort and language familiarity with me still being her caregiver.  She finally slept pretty well last night and hasn't spent too much time crying today.  She still says she wants to go home but she hasn't been screaming at the top of her lungs so that is a big improvement.  We have yet to see her smile or have her laugh with us, but right now I am just thankful that she has attached to me so well.

This morning we did the notary, and later today we go get Joshua's passport.  Ernie and I are both sick, me especially, which made the airplane ride difficult.  I still haven't gotten my ears to clear out completely, and to make things worse I have the pink eye.  For the past week my eyes have been horribly red, but I was just contributing it to the terrible smog, allergies, and lack of sleep, especially considering it got worse after we got Micaelyn and I was getting almost no sleep.  Yesterday I finally got a nap, and when I woke up my eyes were covered in yellow mucus.  Now I am so glad I asked for the prescription for eye drops for pink eye which I had really doubted I would need!

I will have to ask Ernie about posting pictures.  Since I am using the VPN he said I wouldn't be able to post them straight from the computer like I normally do.  Right now Joshua is wanting to message his friends on QQ (sort of like Facebook), so I'm going to give him the computer.  Hopefully by this evening I'll get pictures posted.

Sunday morning

Last Sunday after church I thought about how much I would miss church while we are gone.  We really love our church and never fail to walk away feeling revived spiritually and emotionally.  We are new members, yet the people there have welcomed us with loving arms and given us incredible support throughout this adoption.  This is not our first adoption, but it is the first time we have received so much support throughout the process.  Six months ago we were strangers to the people at our church, but now we are family.  This morning we especially miss our church family!  I found it so amazing that when I was giving Malachi a shower this morning he asked me, "Do they have church in China?"  We had not told him it was church day, but his spirit must have felt the same void mine feels this morning knowing we will miss going to church and having fellowship with our great friends.  It does make it feel better to know Christina will be able to go to church and that she is staying with a wonderful family from our church so we still have that connection to our church family.

We are now headed to breakfast and will go touring Beijing after that.  Spokoynoy nochi to our Siberian princess!

We are in Beijing!

We made it safely to Beijing and we are now in our hotel room. It is 3:00am Sunday morning so we are going to bed. We greatly appreciate all the prayers as we had a VERY smooth trip. There were no delays anywhere along the way. I had no motion sickness, which is practically a miracle (when we flew to India 2 years ago to get Malachi I got extremely sick, sick enough to go through more than a few air sickness bags). The flight from Seattle to Beijing was half-empty (at least) so we ended up with plenty of room to spread out and be more comfortable. Caleb is not better but he has not gotten worse so that is very good. He slept during more than half of the ~5 hours we were on the plane to Seattle, and both boys got a lot of sleep on the flight to Beijing. Now it is time for us parents to hopefully get a few hours of sleep! Love to all, especially our dear Christina!

On our way!

Our first 2 flights are done and we are now in Seattle awaiting our flight to Beijing.  Caleb is really sick but hanging in there.  Please pray he starts getting better and not worse.  Christina says she is sick too, but she is thankfully in wonderful hands so we aren't worried.

I know a lot of people are interested in our itinerary, so here it is.

Friday morning - departure from hometown airport, fly to Atlanta, fly to Seattle, fly to Beijing

Saturday night / early Sunday morning arrival in Beijing

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday (August 29-31) - tour Beijing, meet with agency staff

Wednesday (September 1) - fly to Guiyang in Guizhou province

Thursday, Friday, Saturday (September 2 - 4) - tour Guizhou province

Sunday (September 5) - MICAELYN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday (September 6) - officially become parents to our precious little girl!

Tuesday (September 7) - file for Micaelyn's passport

Wednesday (September 8) - fly to Guangzhou, meet JOSHUA and officially adopt him (we will meet him and complete the adoption on the same day in order to get the adoption registered before his birthday)

Sunday (September 12) - Joshua's 14th birthday, his first birthday to celebrate as a beloved son!

Tuesday (September 14) - Consulate appointment

Thursday (September 16) - pick up visa, free to leave Guangzhou, take overnight train to Guilin

Friday (September 17) - Li River cruise in Guilin

Saturday (September 18) - tour Guilin, take overnight train to border of China/Hong Kong

Sunday (September 19) - explore Hong Kong

Monday (September 20) - fly from Hong Kong to Detroit

Tuesday (September 21) - fly HOME!!!!!

Our total time gone will be 3 1/2 weeks.  Since most adoption require you to spend a week in your child's province before going on to Guangzhou we thought we would have to be in Micaelyn's province for nearly a week, and since adoptions from Guangzhou take 2 weeks we thought we would have to spend 2 weeks there making the total trip 3 weeks plus the time in Beijing (most adoption agencies have you start out in Beijing).  Thus when we started planning our trip around Joshua's birthday before we even had travel approval we based it on this timeline of being gone for 3 1/2 weeks.  As it turned out the officials in both places decided to move us through a little faster so we could have done the trip in 2 1/2 weeks, but since we had already planned the dates we would arrive in and depart from China we kept it at that.  Thus even though we will leave Guiyang within just a few days of getting Micaelyn we will still stay there a week getting to know the area she is from.  There is a story about why this is important to us, but it will have to wait until after we return home.  However, it does make a really good "Red Thread" story!

Supposedly we should be able to leave by Friday, September 17, but our agency told us to stay in China a few more days in case things don't get rushed through as they are supposed to.  Since we will be tired of staying in Guangzhou by that point we figured the overnight trains would be a good way to see another part of China without spending a lot of extra money (and since the trains are overnight that means 2 nights less of having to pay for 2 hotel rooms).

I am very excited about going to China, even more excited about getting my children, but I'm already eager to get home.  I can't wait to get home and get my house cleaned up, do the laundry (because I know I will have A LOT), and get settled into home life with ALL my children under 1 roof.

Leaving tomorrow!

Just a short break from the madness of packing to say we leave tomorrow morning!  Hopefully I will get to blog during our layovers and can post our itinerary.  Please pray there are no delays, especially on our first flight as our layover in Atlanta is pretty short.  Also, please pray for good health.  We've all been feeling less than 100% (probably due to stress), but Caleb in particular seems to be taking a turn downhill.  He has been fairly congested today, coughing, runny nose, etc.

By the way, we hopefully will be able to blog via a VPN while in China (blogspot is blocked in China and can't be accessed there), but if that fails for some reason we will blog via our babyjellybeans account.  The link is posted on the right hand side (underneath all the kids' pictures) as "our original family website." 

New pictures of Joshua

For whatever reason we haven't been able to get many pictures of Joshua, not even when we sent the care package through Ann at Red Thread. We did finally get one last week, and another family that recently traveled received a picture of him with his friends who are also being adopted through the Journey of Hope program. I can't help but notice Joshua is wearing the same clothes in both pictures, but the pictures were not taken on the same day. Also, his friend (the boy on the right side of the group photo) is wearing the same shorts and sandals as him. This was something we noticed with some of the pictures of Christina and her friends when she lived in the orphanage. It seems the orphanages often end up with many of the same clothes, and the kids just have to wear whatever is available. Can you imagine how much harder this makes things for the orphans who go to school with kids who have families? It will be so nice to finally give Joshua plenty of nice clothes to wear.

New pictures of Micaelyn

After asking numerous times over the last year for current pictures I finally have some! We received the last pictures of Micaelyn from the orphanage back in February, but they were actually taken last September, nearly a year ago. Needless to say I'm not only happy to have gotten more pictures, I'm also happy the pictures were actually current this time. We were so very happy to see her smiling in these pictures!

I just love the last picture of her with her mouth closed. Due to her enlarged tongue her mouth has been open in almost all the pictures we have received of her. It's nice to get a glimpse of how cute and spunky she looks when she holds her lips together.  Needless to say, I cropped it to show off her sweet little face!

Also on a positive note, the geneticist has agreed to work Micaelyn in soon after we get her home even though it normally takes several months to get an appointment. Due to the fact she should be receiving blood work every 6 weeks and ultrasounds every 12 weeks to screen for tumors it is of utmost importance she be seen right away. She hasn't been receiving any screening in China, so we have had to rely solely on faith that her little body is staying healthy and tumor free. It was also wonderful to hear the geneticist has had experience with Beckwith-Wiedemann syndrome patients. Given it's a rather rare syndrome many families deal with doctors who have no experience with BWS. We feel fortunate to have access to such good medical care for Micaelyn.

Language troubles...

Christina has been home 4 1/2 years. She now knows a lot of English, but she still occasionally asks what a word means and uses a dictionary much more often than most 17 year olds (and we're proud of her for using the dictionary!). So the other night when she was given an assignment in her Bible class to read in Genesis about Abraham it was not surprising she came across a word she didn't know. Unfortunately, instead of asking me or looking it up in the dictionary she showed up in her Bible class the next day asking everyone (very seriously), "What does circumcision mean?" She said she didn't understand why everyone was laughing so hard. Oh, the joys of learning a new language as a teenager!

Since I didn't have the blog back when we brought Christina home, here are a few pictures of her from her first months home with us. It's hard to believe she grew so much so quickly, but she is still just as beautiful as ever!

Micaelyn and Joshua, Here we come!!!

After looking at my precious daughter's picture for over a year now KNOWING she was my daughter (and for many months before I knew she was my daughter I had been looking at her sweet picture on a couple of photolistings praying for her to find a family) I can finally say we leave NEXT WEEK to bring her home. It seems almost surreal after waiting so long, but in the miracle God has woven for us we will not only be bringing home our little girl we will also be bringing home a 14 year old son! Micaelyn and Joshua, we'll be there soon to bring you HOME!

All the Difference

Like cold water to a weary soul is good news from a distant land. -Proverbs 25:25
We recently received a letter from Joshua. Here it is:

Dear mom and dad,
How are you?
I am glad that you choose me to your family member. Thank you for your gifts that you sent to me. I share and play with them with my close friends.
My best friend is Guang Huang Zheng. He is very kind to me. When I have trouble in doing my homework, he will not tell me the right answer directly, instead he will teach me the ways to analyzing the problem. What’s more, he tells me, “You should not only look for the answers when you suffer trouble in studies, but also look for the way to solve such kinds of problem. Doing this, you won’t be wrong again.” So I share with him first since I have something good to eat and play with now, and then I share with other friends. Finally can you send me some shampoo?
Hope you all to be healthy and happy everyday. I will be waiting for you to come to meet me. I love you very much.
Hai Hua
Jul.30th, 2010

Getting the care package we sent to him caused a bit of a mess, but at least in the end he did receive the things we sent him. We sent him a few small toys, clothes, 20 candy bars (so he could share), toothbrush/toothpaste, a backpack, some pens, a journal, and some pictures.

It was extremely hard for me to read Joshua's request for shampoo. Here is a teenage boy who has for the first time in his life parents to ask for things from, and the one thing he asks for is shampoo. It didn't really shock me, after all I have heard all the stories about how terrible Christina's life was at her orphanage in Siberia and the things she didn't have there. However, even when it's not surprising, it's still agonizing to read that your own son doesn't have even the most basic necessities of life. I think often of the kids at Christina's orphanage in Siberia that begged us to find families for them too. Sadly, most of those kids will never find families, and many will die before they are even 20 years old. Very, very few will ever live a "decent" life (and I put decent in quotes because the few that reach this level of success will still live a life that's far below the poverty level here in America, and they will still face many hardships and prejudices for having grown up as an orphan). Very few people understand why we have willingly chosen such a difficult path. Some of our own family completely disapprove of it. However, when shampoo is the most important thing a child can ask for, when children around the world beg for a family, when small children live by themselves on the street, you can do only 2 things about it - you can choose to forget it and continue living your life as if in complete ignorance of the desperate needs of so many children around the world or you can choose to do something to make a difference. One choice leads to the easy path, one choice leads to the more difficult path. We have chosen to do something about it, and while it may be the more difficult path it is also the more rewarding path, and more significantly it is the path we are called by Christ to take.

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." -Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken" poem

The Starfish Story
Original Story by: Loren Eisley

One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed
a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean.
Approaching the boy, he asked, “What are you doing?”
The youth replied, “Throwing starfish back into the ocean.
The surf is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them back, they’ll die.”
“Son,” the man said, “don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish?
You can’t make a difference!”
After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish,
and threw it back into the surf. Then, smiling at the man, he said…”
I made a difference for that one.”

Having fun with photos

I rarely take our kids to have their picture made anywhere. I'd love to be able to take them to a professional photographer, especially a really good one, at least once a year, but that's just one of the sacrifices we have made in order to deal with adoption expenses. However, I've really been wanting to get some good pictures of Christina (at 17 she has never had her portrait taken professionally aside from school pictures), and I really wanted to get some good pictures of the kids together (since I've never done that before) so a few weeks ago I took them to Sears. I know it's not the same as taking them to a true professional photographer (like this, one of my friends from high school who is truly an amazing photographer), but with the adoption expenses we are dealing with I'm just happy to have gotten any pictures at all! The best part about getting pictures done at Sears is the ability to purchase a cd of all the images. That way I can not only print up as many pictures as I want whenever I decide I want them, I can also have a lot of fun with the images. Here's a look at the fun I've had with these!


This is the original picture as it was taken. I didn't order any copies because I thought it just didn't look right. Not that my daughter isn't beautiful, just that the portrait could be better.


My first edit, straightened just a little, cropped, lightened, and with some minor touch-ups.


I wanted the focus to be just on her beautiful face.


By playing around on iPhoto I got the picture to look like a drawing. I really like this one a lot!


I think it also looks nice in black and white.


Another picture, truly a beautiful picture to start with.


I really love the way this turned out!


Showing off her face again - so beautiful!


Just as beautiful in black and white!


Another photo I edited just a bit.


All 3 together (I do wish the photographer had placed Malachi on the side with greater lighting instead of Caleb so he wouldn't blend into the background so much).


Another edited version.


I don't usually have time to do much editing on photos, and this was the first I really got to try out the new iPhoto program that came with the new computer (which we were forced to get when the motherboard on the other one died - I really didn't want to have to get a new computer!). Now I can't help but wonder just what I could do with some of the software for editing photos, digital scrapbooking, etc. I'd also love to figure out how to totally redesign my blog with a much better header at the top that actually includes ALL my children. With the new computer I don't have a way to merge multiple pictures into one so I still haven't been able to get Joshua's picture up there. Unfortunately, I haven't a clue which would be the best programs to use and I don't want to waste any money on a program that isn't very good. I hope I figure out something soon!

Another senseless adoption comment

Most all of us who have adopted children at some point in time have had to deal with irritating, rude, and downright mean comments. It wasn't my first, and I'm sure it won't be my last, but tonight I got stung by yet another senseless comment. I don't think the person meant any ill will, but it really rubbed me the wrong way!

To set the story, last night Caleb went to Vacation Bible School at a church near our home, not our own church. When we went to pick him up his teachers saw Malachi and told us he could come tonight also. I made sure it was okay since he is a little younger, and the teachers said it was not a problem. So tonight when I went back to drop them off I told the lady at the registration table I needed to sign Malachi up also. She questioned me about his age and said since he was only 4 he was too young for the kindergarten class and he couldn't stay unless a parent stayed also. I told her he was about to turn 5, was old enough to start kindergarten this year, and that the teachers had explicitly told me he could come. She didn't seem convinced and started asking me very direct questions.

She asked,"Where do you live?" I'm not sure why that mattered, and I don't generally like telling strangers where I live. Given that this is a small community church it's very unlikely someone who is not a member of that church would drive very far just to take their kids to VBS since there are plenty of other churches doing VBS right now also. Thus she could have easily assumed I lived somewhere nearby, and of course she could have just looked at the address I wrote down on the registration sheet if she really needed to know.

Then she asked, "Do you go to church?" Well, I most certainly had no problem answering that, but I couldn't help but think if we didn't go to church anywhere how uncomfortable that question would make me. There are much better ways to find out if someone goes to church and invite them to your own!

Next question she asked was, "Are these your only 2 kids?" I started off by telling her, "No, we also have a 17 year old daughter." Of course, every time I tell people who see Caleb and Malachi that I also have a 17 year old daughter I can tell immediately what they start thinking - that I got pregnant when I was very young - and their mindset about me seems to take a negative direction. I really dislike the fact that unless I tell people how we adopted Christina when she was 12 they automatically draw negative conclusions about me. So then I told the lady about our 2 kids waiting in China and she questioned me further about our adoptions. Thus I told her how we had adopted Christina from Siberia 4 years ago and Malachi from India 2 years ago, at which point she told me, "Your husband must have a very good job."

Quite often when I tell people about all our adoptions they have very positive reactions, even saying things like, "How wonderful", "God bless you", "What special people you must be", etc. Although I don't expect such positive reactions and don't feel deserving of them (because we aren't adopting to get praise or even to "save a child" - we are adopting because we want to share our love with a child), I will admit I can deal with the positive comments much better than the negative ones (e.g. I usually mention how blessed we feel to have our children with us, that while others may see the sacrifices we have made we see only the blessings we have received), and it really caught me off guard to get a comment like this from a stranger at a church - those are usually the people who say the nicest things!

When we are right in the midst of an adoption that will take over $40,000, when I am dealing daily with the frustration of knowing we will probably have approval to travel in August or maybe even July but we really have no choice but to wait until the beginning of September to travel due to money issues, when we are working so hard to pay off the debt from our previous adoptions while still trying to fund this one, it is very irritating to have someone make the assumption that just because we are adopting these children we must have plenty of money to spare.

NO, NO, NO!!! We have made many, many sacrifices to bring home our children. We work hard to come up with the money. When we don't come up with the money in time we deal with the added burden of debt. While so many people urge being debt free and especially avoiding credit cards, we have dealt with the burden of unwanted credit card debt when we had no other choice for buying airline tickets or paying hotel and other travel expenses. We most certainly aren't wealthy, we have just chosen a different path for our lives and our money than most people choose. Personally, I can't help but feel the blessings we have received have been far, far greater than the sacrifices we have made!



Oh, and I do find it a little ironic this happened right after my last post in which I talked about just a few of the sacrifices we have made to be able to afford adoption. I get so tired of having people tell me, "Oh, I would love to adopt but we just can't afford it." If only more people understood the blessing is much greater than the sacrifices I think there would be fewer orphans in the world!

It's that time of year again...

...when for the 4th year in a row riding in our van is downright miserable due to the lack of air conditioning

...when I watch all the other neighbors zoom around the yard on their riding lawn mowers while I spend endless hours in the blazing hot sun and stifling humidity pushing a cheap little push mower up an incline and over the rough ground

...when we hear everybody else talking about their vacations to the beach, Disney World, and other neat places while our 6 year old son begs for the experience of staying in a hotel for "at least one night."

...when Vacation Bible School in the morning at our church gives me a chance to run errands and experience time without the kids for a couple of hours for 5 straight days, and I think about how much easier life must be for all the moms whose children go to Mother's Day Out each week at church (or any other part-time child care)

...when Vacation Bible School in the evening at the church around the corner from us gives my husband and I a couple of hours alone for a few days, and we spend the first day in a state of near shock at the concept of actually being ALONE together while imagining how fun life must be for those who can hire a sitter for their children

But then when I see this beautiful face...

...and I see this sweet smile...

...when I think of this precious boy...

...and this sweet little girl...

I have no regrets about how we have chosen to spend our money, and then...

...I am thankful for the old cars we have that are paid off, even if it means driving with no air conditioning, and even if the cars need some work. After all, it's pretty neat to think we are still using my very first vehicle, the truck I bought when I was still a teenager!

...I am thankful for the big yard we have that needs to be mowed and for having a little push-mower to mow it with, for the nice neighbor who fixed the mower so I'm not pushing around a half-broken mower anymore, and for the green grass and weeds that grow in the yard (because in Florida we had too much sand in our yard to grow anything).

...I am thankful that although we don't get to take neat vacations we live in a place that's so nice people come here from all over America for their vacations, and before that we spent many years living in another popular vacation destination along the Gulf Coast of Florida. I'm also thankful for the opportunity to travel around the world to bring home my precious children, and while we've never taken a luxurious vacation personally I think what we have seen has been far more life-changing and rewarding. We have been to an orphanage in Siberia where children begged us to find families for them. We have seen indescribable poverty and depression, homeless mothers begging for help, starving children begging for food, young kids selling themselves in a desperate attempt at survival. We have seen the slums of India, we watched naked children eating from the same piles of garbage on the street corners from which the cows were eating. We have seen hundreds of families living on the streets, and we knew those kids were the lucky ones because at least they had parents to love them as opposed to the thousands and millions of unwanted orphans. In short, we have seen what most people here in America never will, and thus we know just how incredibly blessed be are.

...I am indescribably thankful for the children that are always with me instead of going to a Mother's Day Out program, that go everywhere I go and beg for everything in the store and then whine when they don't get it, that make running the simplest of errands a burdensome task. I rejoice in the fact that I am never alone, because it doesn't mean I have my hands full, it just means I have my heart full!

A new name

You will be called by a new name that the mouth of the LORD will bestow. - Isaiah 62:2

When we first felt called to adopt our new son in addition to our sweet daughter we had no idea what his Chinese name was (the agency wouldn't give us any information on him since we were already in process to adopt our daughter). Thus when we thought about what we would name him if we were miraculously given approval to adopt him we couldn't help but think about the name we had already planned for our next son. Therefore we always thought of him as "Christian" even when there seemed to be no hope of adopting him.

Once we learned his name, "Hua," we couldn't really think of any American names that were similar, and since Hua wasn't really a name that would fit in well here in America we decided to go with our plan of naming him Christian Isaiah.

A couple of weeks ago completely out of the blue it occurred to me that the name Joshua ends in "hua." After realizing that, it only made sense to change our new son's name to Joshua since it ends with his Chinese name.

Although it took several weeks to get used to the idea of a different name for him, we all like the name Joshua. It is a beautiful name with a very powerful meaning, especially given the miraculous story of Joshua's adoption that could only have been orchestrated through God.

The name Joshua means "God is my salvation." Another translation is "God rescues." People rarely adopt older children, and the vast majority of adoptive families choose to adopt girls instead of boys. Even healthy little boys wait simply because they are a boy, so as a teenage boy, especially one with congenital heart defects and pulmonary hypertension (a potentially life threatening condition that can lead to double heart/lung transplants), Joshua had virtually no hope of finding a family. At 13 time was rapidly running out for him given that on his 14th birthday he would no longer be eligible for adoption. We watched the photolistings for months in hopes this child would find a family since we knew our agency would never allow us to adopt him. Once we began the battle to get our agency's approval to adopt him we knew it would take an absolute miracle. Yes, it seems like common sense that we be allowed to adopt him, and yes, people adopt 2 kids all the time through other agencies. However, our agency NEVER, NEVER, NEVER allows this!

It took a huge battle, lots of effort, way too much time, and enormous faith, but ALL things are possible with God! God truly did rescue Joshua as without this miracle Joshua would have been condemned to life as an orphan in China. In a country where males his age greatly outnumber females and extended families are of great importance, without a family (and thus an inheritance) Joshua almost certainly would never have found a wife. Thus he would have lived his entire life as an orphan with no family - no parents, no grandparents, no wife, no children, etc. His life may have been severely shortened due to a lack of medical care for his pulmonary hypertension. He would never have been taught any kind of faith to help carry him through the trials of life, and he would probably have never learned about Jesus Christ. However, through a great miracle God rescued Joshua, and thus I don't think there could possibly be any name more appropriate for him than one that means "God rescues."

We will keep the middle name of Isaiah (which also means "God is my Salvation; the Lord saves me"). Given all the connections to that name (mentioned in this post) I think it too has great meaning, and Joshua Isaiah seems like a perfect fit

Our handsome little Indian prince!

To save money I take our passport/visa pictures myself. It can be hard to get a good picture of Malachi (not because he isn't adorable but rather because he has no ability to follow directions), but this one turned out so well I think I may blow it up and frame it!